Why Does It Even Matter?

[Lost Girl Next Door]

Guys -

 

I want to break NC but I know that is insane. It has been over 2 weeks and I guess I am surprised that he hasn't tried to contact me. He prides himself on staying friends with all his exs.

 

Maybe he has seen the light finally? But what is wrong with me? Why do I want him to call? Why does it even matter?

 

sigh -

 

Lost Girl

[magichands]

He prides himself on staying friends with all his exs.

What does this mean? Is he the bestest friend ever? Or does he like having backup plans, and his ego caressed??

 

From my point of view, I am not going to stop caring...but your choice of the word "prides" is curious.

[Mollyanna]

I am very sorry that you are hurting. I think all of us on this board have sat and waited for "someone" to call. It is excrutiatingly painful.

 

But pray he doesn't call. EVERYONE on this board has told me to go NC. I never listen. And the last 2 months have been hell. I really wanted to be friends with my ex too and I am still trying, but I don't know if it will be worth all the pain and crying and soul burning that I have been through. Cut your losses now before you get so involved in restoring your relationship or torchering yourself with all the WHYs, that you completely destroy your own sense of self worth.

 

The last two months since our breakup have made me hate myself, question what I am worth, live through rejection and pain as he sleeps with one woman and then another, and ultimately makes me act like a self loathing, unself-respected lunatic who almost killed herself over a man. A MAN!

 

I know we all deal in different ways and you may not go the extreme route that I did, but the surest way to save yourself from any additional pain over and above what you are already feeling is - (God, I can't believe I have crossed to the darkside... Yes, folks I am now a believer in... ) No Contact.

[Lost Girl Next Door]

See I KNEW someone would tell me to stand firm - thanks.

 

And yes Magic - thanks so much. That is exactly what he does and I needed that "thrown" in my face so I would remember it. I guess I use that word because it is something that he always brags about - how he still talks to them, meets them for lunch sometimes, and etc. I guess at first I wanted to be like that, but that is just STUPID now I see.

 

I am not sure why this stupid thing is bothing me. If he called, I am not even sure what I would do. I would probably just stare at the phone. Because I don't need anymore hell in my life....