loveinlife Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I recently noticed that a lot of ladies that I meet these days look for this critiria in a man, financially stable and successful. Which to me means they are looking for money and I wrong? How many of you ladies look for this quality?
a4a Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Well the dude camped out under the bridge with the shopping cart and paper bag filled with livations isn't a turn on exactly. At least be able to pay your bills and afford a car that has 4 tires on it by the time you are in your early 20's..... and as you age you should have more financial stability.
KittenMoon Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 "Financially stable and successful" doesn't necessarily mean rich. I want a guy with a good career, salary, and ambition, but he doesn't have to be oozing cash and dumping diamonds in my lap. Just stable, able to pay all your bills, save a bit, and have a bit left over for fun is good.
Author loveinlife Posted September 29, 2006 Author Posted September 29, 2006 PHew!!! I thought it meant having atleast 6 or 7 figure income, own a few businesses or houses. I guess I am doing great in consideration of what you ladies are saying.
a4a Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 PHew!!! I thought it meant having atleast 6 or 7 figure income, own a few businesses or houses. I guess I am doing great in consideration of what you ladies are saying. well it also depends on who you are trying to attract. Most women who have those things will expect a partner of equal or great value. Now if you take a girl out of a wealthy up bringing unlikely she will be happy living in a single wide on rented ground. I got my life..... I would not date a man tho under 6 figures at this point in my life...... equal or greater value again. If I was single I might briefly engage for fun with a man who makes less or has less tho..... but not a serious R.
a4a Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Potential income is also a factor tho.........
Author loveinlife Posted September 29, 2006 Author Posted September 29, 2006 It seem like money is a factor in a relationship, but why is that?? Is it part of a woman who are seeking for a provider, as a hunter to bring home the meat/bread for the family?
allina Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 It seem like money is a factor in a relationship, but why is that?? Is it part of a woman who are seeking for a provider, as a hunter to bring home the meat/bread for the family? Uhmm no, not for most at least. But why should everything fall on her shoulders? I wouldn't want to support a man.It has little to do with being a provider for me, I just want him to pitch in equally. Also, often more educated people make more money, and an educated man is a must for me. Once again, nothing over the top is necessary but I would never date a guy who has only a ged or HS diploma and works at Denny's as a career.
Author loveinlife Posted September 29, 2006 Author Posted September 29, 2006 I don't know its just wierd to see this happening so much, a lot of women I meet always ask me what do I do and I have friends who also met girls who ask them how much they make. To me, its kinda like a turn off, that they are looking for money, instead of the quality, it seems to be the quantity. I hope you ladies can pinch in two cents to help my confusion.
Aloros Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I think it shows a certain level of maturity. My ex was basically stuck in college, year after year after year. I wouldn't mind supporting my SO, but I'm not yet in a position where I can do so. His being stuck in college was basically just a symptom of his immaturity. He had problems accepting responsibility for his actions and following through. Now a man that is financially stable and holds down a steady, well-paying job is probably more mature. A reasonably well-paying job requires more skill and more responsibility than, say, someone working at Denny's. That, to me, is attractive. My current SO works at a well-paying job, and is much more mature than my last bf. It's also nice, because it's easier to go on out-of-town trips (don't have to worry about pesky school vacations), and also eases the financial burden. If I wanted to go somewhere with my ex, you could bet I was paying. It's not necessarily about the money, but how financially stable and successful a person is says a lot about them personally.
Author loveinlife Posted September 29, 2006 Author Posted September 29, 2006 Interesting Aloros, thanks for your feedback. I can see your point Allina, that you are looking for someone that equates to your standard and lifestyle. As for me, I also look for someone who is college educated or atleast has some sort of maturity level. I would never burden a women financially or etc... I've always been the care-taker and financial provider to my last so. I paid for 80% of all the expenses because she was still going to school after we both graduated from college while I had work. I wanted to see her succeed and tried to do the best I could to help her.
Tony T Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I recently noticed that a lot of ladies that I meet these days look for this critiria in a man, financially stable and successful. Which to me means they are looking for money and I wrong? How many of you ladies look for this quality? You are wrong. Very sane and rational women look instinctively for men who will be good husbands and be able to provide adequately for a family during periods when they themselves can't work. Sane and rational women want a man who has goals, who is not lazy and who is able to make something of himself in this life. The greatest number of women are not looking purposely for a man with a LOT of money...but for someone who is responsible enough to know there are bills to be paid before beer gets consumed and football games are attended. I don't think that's asking a whole lot!
Moose Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Maybe it's just me, but if you're getting asked questions about what you do, maybe they're geniually interested in you? Have they been specifically asking about your income? If so couldn't it be that the question derived from answering the, "what do you do for a living"? Think about it..... Her: "So, what do you do for a living" You: "I'm an underwater welder for an offshore oil company" Her: "Wow, what would a job like that pay?" Just curious....
Author loveinlife Posted September 30, 2006 Author Posted September 30, 2006 You are wrong. Very sane and rational women look instinctively for men who will be good husbands and be able to provide adequately for a family during periods when they themselves can't work. Sane and rational women want a man who has goals, who is not lazy and who is able to make something of himself in this life. The greatest number of women are not looking purposely for a man with a LOT of money...but for someone who is responsible enough to know there are bills to be paid before beer gets consumed and football games are attended. I don't think that's asking a whole lot! Thanks for clearing some of the things up for me Tony T. I was thinking of the same instances earlier today. Feels a lot better to have more perspective. Maybe it's just me, but if you're getting asked questions about what you do, maybe they're geniually interested in you? Have they been specifically asking about your income? If so couldn't it be that the question derived from answering the, "what do you do for a living"? Think about it..... Her: "So, what do you do for a living" You: "I'm an underwater welder for an offshore oil company" Her: "Wow, what would a job like that pay?" Just curious.... That is possible and that they could be just interested what I do. Thanks Moose.
Jizzosh Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Here's my thoughts on this: a lot of women are gold diggers. However, I think many women seek a financially stable guy because it leaves a lot of open doors. I mean, in this day and age there's no such thing as true love without money, or if it exists it's very rare. I don't mean you wouldn't do anything for that person you love, but it's gonna be very hard to stay in a stable long relationship with that person if they don't have any money. If a guy is financially stable the girl and guy don't have to worry about money issues, which means they can just relax and spend more time bonding with each other rather than worrying about how they'll have to work double shifts to pay off their debt.
Author loveinlife Posted September 30, 2006 Author Posted September 30, 2006 Here's my thoughts on this: a lot of women are gold diggers. However, I think many women seek a financially stable guy because it leaves a lot of open doors. I mean, in this day and age there's no such thing as true love without money, or if it exists it's very rare. I don't mean you wouldn't do anything for that person you love, but it's gonna be very hard to stay in a stable long relationship with that person if they don't have any money. If a guy is financially stable the girl and guy don't have to worry about money issues, which means they can just relax and spend more time bonding with each other rather than worrying about how they'll have to work double shifts to pay off their debt. Hi Jizzosh, I've seen those before and know a few. I don't want a girl to like me for how much I have or what I do, although I believe Tony made a good point about needing that money to support them at times and you saying using that time to enjoy. I don't want girls to like me cause I drive a Mercedes. I want a gf who likes me cause of my personality and characteristics.
stoopid_guy Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 So what's the difference between: 1) Working hard to earn money so women will like you. 2) Dressing in style so women will like you. 3) Loosing weight and/or building your body so women will like you. 4) Learning jokes so women will like you. 5) Dying your hair some color other than red so women will like you. 6) Learning to give massages so women will like you. 7) Licking your eyebrows so women will like you. Only a partial list, and only partially in jest. We all use the talents, assets, and abilities we have.
norajane Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Money can be a huge problem in relationships. It's one of the main things married couples fight about, and it's one of the top issues that lead to divorce. Asking what someone does for a living, etc., has a lot to do with trying to understand their views on money so as to know whether their views - and lifestyles - will match or will be a likely source of problems. My first bf was a guy who made less than I did. I didn't care, but boy HE sure did. He never wanted me to pay for his share, so if he didn't have enough for a vacation or whatever, guess what, we didn't go. Well, yeah, I can go on vacation with my girlfriends, but I want to go for a romantic weekend my MAN, so I missed out on a good time because of his pride. Same thing with going out to dinner. He couldn't stand it if I paid for both of us, so we rarely went. When we did, he'd sit there with this painful expression on his face and calculate out loud how muchless it would have cost to make the chicken at home, which was sooooo beside the point of going out to dinner as far as I was concerned. Totally ruined the whole thing for me. Money matters to both people in a couple.
leopardprint Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 For me... I guess I am looking for money, but not in that sense. I want to know a man is as committed to being financially secure as I am. I'm big on having a successful career for myself and my life and being comfortable in the money pool. I'd like to know my man is just as goal driven as I am in that department. I guess when you see a man making a decent amount, one can only assume he's hard working, and not lazy. I mean, of course, that's not everyone, but "money" is something I'm only concerned about when things get serious, MUCH futher down the line. Like norajane said above, its more about sharing a similar lifestyle and sharing similar ethics and goals. I mean, my last someone was going to be a mechanic, and I didn't mind at all. I didn't mind he would be making less than me, but the fact that he was SO into it, and so goal driven to succeed in that industry, it just worked out fine for me - his plans were to open his own motorsports business, and I watched him work hard for that - that mattered more than the amount he was making.
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