anyone have one of those nights?

[D-Lish]

You know the nights where you think you have been getting over your ex, and then you have a relapse?

 

I have been lying in bed trying to sleep and the thoughts of him just came flooding back. Damn. It's been almost 6 weeks. I have been feeling better lately. But I just can't get him off my mind.

 

Still so many unresolved issues and unspoken words. I've made a one last ditch effort at contact a week ago via e-mail- and he never responded. Yes, it was one of those silly pouring out my heart, what went wrong letters designed to let him know my door is still open to him. No response- nothing from him.

 

I'm slowly immersing myself back into the single life, forcing myself to get out and doing my best to move on to a future without him. But it still hurts.

 

It's funny how another person can have such a profound effect on your life- cause you to feel so much pain and misery- self doubts, guilt- anger. And why I still hold on to the belief that someone will come back to me when they have made it painfully obvious they don't love me anymore is frustrating.

 

Anyone else feel these set backs in the healing process?

 

I'm having such a hard time with the fact that he walked out of my life and just forgot about me completely.

 

Love sucks.

 

D

[magichands]

Anyone else feel these set backs in the healing process?

I think I know exactly how you feel. Just kidding.

 

I don't think anyone has truly loved me in my entire life. Not kidding.

 

But there's always tomorrow, haha.

 

I'm sure he hasn't forgotten about you, D-Lish. Sometimes there is no point to looking back, and every reason to look forward...you know? The horrible truth is that things affect us only as much as we let them.

 

And it's hard to take the self-proclaimed D-Lish seriously, but I'm trying.

[aikim]

I know exactly how you feel. My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago and even tho I've tried to have no contact with him, I relapse also because there's still that tinge of hope left that maybe if I gave him some space he would wanna get back together. I think I've already exhausted all my attempts to get him back by reminding him how much I love him and I'm still here. If I text my ex messages that have anything to do with how I feel about him, he'll either text back that he's sorry or he won't text back at all. So I'm thinking that when he doesn't text back, he's put in this awkward situation and put on the spot so he doesn't text anything at all. And that's what I'm thinking about your ex too. He probably can't reciprocate the same feelings so he doesn't respond at all.

[swirly27]

Aww Di-Lish, I completely know how you feel. The problem with getting over someone is that until you ARE over them, you will always have some hope of them coming back, so until that hope dwindles and fades, we have ups and downs. You get through some days and weeks and think 'I'm doing ok' and then you realize 'Why haven't them come back yet' and then you hit a down. It will be almost 2 months of NC for me and it is still hard.....not as hard as it was in the first 2 weeks, but still miss him alot. It just sucks....until one day it won't anymore!

[Amour77]

D-Lish, you are doing great and I am sure you will get fine soon. All these bad moments are normal, the pain will eventually go away. I know the feeling of waking up and wishing they were here.... Don't worry, it go away!

[Art_Critic]

It's funny how another person can have such a profound effect on your life- cause you to feel so much pain and misery- self doubts, guilt- anger. And why I still hold on to the belief that someone will come back to me when they have made it painfully obvious they don't love me anymore is frustrating.

 

Because you are human and you loved the person.

I have been there myself..Not all that long ago

 

I wish I had some magic words..but I'm only a clown

 

Time does heal all wounds..

 

[blah06]

I have those nights quite often, actually. You just get so used to having someone there with you. And all of a sudden that person isn't there to share things with. I can't help but reminisce and think "what if". But that's just torture! D-lish, maybe he doesn't know what to say....or maybe this is his way of moving on. I'm sure he still cares and I'm sure he wonders about you, but maybe not talking to you makes it easier for him to let everything go. It sucks when all you want to know is that they are hurting too, but try to stay strong in your efforts of being single again!

[Guest]

That was exactly the night I had last night. I know (or at least think) I don't want him back. But last night I had all these dreams, and he was an ass in the dreams like he was in actuality. And yet it's the comfort of the known and having somebody there for you. I guess it gets better. It's certainly better now than it was six weeks ago when we first broke up.

[Lost Girl Next Door]

You aren't the only one girl - hang in there

 

After 2 weeks of NC, I had a horrible night a few days ago. Thoughts of him dancing in my head and I just seriously broke down. Had to throw the pillow case in the wash.

 

All the people on here say that it gets better. I guess it does?

 

Lost Girl -

[magichands]

Had to throw the pillow case in the wash.

A snotty pillowcase?! What a disgusting story, haha.

[Lost Girl Next Door]

heavens no magic

 

just mascara

[D-Lish]

One day at a time right?

 

It's that plateau period- where the intensity of the break up has subsided, but the lingering remains.

 

Thanks for your kind words.

 

I do really feel that he has to have NC with me because it is his way of getting over the break up. I've just never had anyone cut me out of their life completely like this before. It leaves things unresolved for me in many ways.

 

I try to do the whole having the conversations I'd like to have with him in person in my head... it sounds silly, but it helps to get my feelings out.

 

I wasn't perfect- neither was he... neither are any of our exes for that matter!

 

No matter what- I won't contact him again. I've done it twice since we broke up- but no more. How much rejection do I really want to subject myself too?

 

I only go by D-lish because D-lite was taken! haha.

:-)

 

D

[Amour77]

You are right, you can't put yourself through rejection all the time. NC is definitely the right thing to do. Not so much because it is a "cool" or "fashinable" thing to do, but just because I suppose talking to each other would not solve anything anymore, and friendship just won't happen. I know what I am talking about as I see my ex on a daily basis and it sure does not help (but I have no choice at the moment).

One way to see things is maybe to consider the other person has died. I know it might be a bit weird to say that, but at the end of the day, you are grieving a loss. In a sense, it is even better as you know that this person was really not worth it.

I know what it is like to wake up and have this feeling of emptiness. It is true, you get so used to someone sleeping next to you every night that once they are away, it leaves a big empty space in your heart. I sometimes have this feeling, and I have to say it is quite rotten, but you have to keep going and be strong. Time will heal all wounds.

 

And remember.... you are now closer to the person who is really meant for you. If not, it is better to be on your own than with someone who is not worth it. At the end of the day, you have to keep your pride and think about yourself!

[Guest]

D-Lish,

 

You talk of never having been completely cut off from someone. What was the alternative? He obviously does not feel that he can make you the priority that you believe you should be to him. So any interaction on his part will only frustrate you in the sense that it will not be thoughtful enough or lack any consideration towards how you feel. Would you be happy with him saying good morning one day and then ignoring you for a week until saying hey the next? I am sure that is how he treats his other friends. The problem with keeping you in his life with both of your feelings the way they are is that people in different mindsets typically react way differently to eachothers actions and consequently one person is assured to continue to get hurt.

 

It is not healthy for either of you. As much as you hate the thought, he is doing this for your benefit too........do you want the best for him always, regardless of if you are his gf? If so, let him go and be happy regardless of whether you are in his life.........it is your turn to take your own life in your hands and make yourself happy in anything you choose to do. You are a special gal and will find someone better capable of appreciating all your great qualitites.

[D-Lish]

Thanks, I agree.

 

The NC route is the best way to go. I know that in my heart. I was never a priority in the relationship- why would I suddenly become a priority in the break up?

 

It gets better every day. It does help to be in a supportive forum where others are experiencing the same pain.

 

Thanks for the insight, support and advice!

D

[joriel]

Well, it's one of those days here... The weekends seem to be the hardest because that's when we spent the most time together. She texted me to say she hasn't been in touch to give me time and space, but that she's thinking about me and that I should let her know when I'm ready. That was 2.5 days ago...

 

I keep reading that darn message over and over again like it's going to say something new but it's always the same and I'm always left wondering, "ready for what?"