Guest gl3 Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I've been reading a lot of threads on this site and they've been an eye opener. Reading various posts I've decided its my turn to post my story. I've know this man for 8yrs now, he was my first everything. Not my first relationship but everything else if you get the idea. We were together on and off for 2 yrs. I went through a horrible break up with him. We both moved on and still kept in touch, he always said he loved me everytime he contacted me. He would always tell me about his relationships and I never really said anything (even thought I was a lil disappointed). So eventually the relationship I had going on got serious and decided to get married. And we did, I told my ex and he was mad. He was being a jerk. Fast foward to now. I got a divorced it didn't last so long as I expect it. So my ex and I started up communication (he started talking to me first). He told me how I broke his heart when I told him about being married. I don't understand why he cared if he was in a relationship himself. Now he said he still loves me, but it seems like he is still mad about things that happen after we broke up. My question to everyone is can you still love a person after so many years have passed? And what should I do? He broke my heart and now he tells me how he never stopped loving me? I don't make good decisions when it comes to men? I need help... thanks.
Josalina Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 sometimes people need time apart to realise what they want, if you love him or still think there may be a spark, y not give it a go, i think it is rather romantic in a way, maybe u were always on his mind but he didn't have the bottle to say so. of course you can get back with someone after years, in fact i recon it is easier as u already know them, but do u still have bad feelings about the break up urself, as if u do u need to talk over these issues before you can both move forward. u must feel something because if not you wouldn't have posted. follow your heart just don't lead him on if your not interested.
Kinger25 Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Tricky cause he was your first everything. You may feel a bond towards him because of this and it may be a bit of a false feeling as far as love goes. I dont see why the time that you have spent apart should mean that you both dont have old feelings for eachother but looking at this objectively - do you think that you could build up a relationship with this man with the past hanging on in the background. He may find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that you have been married since you split up with him. It all depends what type of person he is really. Do you think that he can get on with your relationship without getting jealous about the fact that you have slept with someone else after him? He should do because you were quite entitiled to have a life after him. You should definitly go into this with your eyes open. If you still love him and feel that you would like to give it another go then thats fine but make sure that you stay in control of your own emotions and be stronger this time. Definitly take things VERY solwly and try and find out about eachother again. Go on a date with him by all means, do something that you both enjoy and take it as it comes. If you dont want to do this and feel as though you dont want to get involved with him again, make sure that you make that very clear straight away and dont lead him on, or give him false hopes. Good Luck with this and keep me posted.
Guest gl3 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 sometimes people need time apart to realise what they want, if you love him or still think there may be a spark, y not give it a go, i think it is rather romantic in a way, maybe u were always on his mind but he didn't have the bottle to say so. of course you can get back with someone after years, in fact i recon it is easier as u already know them, but do u still have bad feelings about the break up urself, as if u do u need to talk over these issues before you can both move forward. u must feel something because if not you wouldn't have posted. follow your heart just don't lead him on if your not interested. Thank you very much for your input josalina, you're right about my feelings. I've always believe your first love you're never forget. Oh I wish it was easy to communicate with him, I'm never able to express my feelings because he just won't talk about what happen between us. He jokes around and it gets so frustrating. But I'm just really scared to have my heart torn again. I can still remember how awful I felt for months. I'm just not sure if its worth it.
Guest gl3 Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Tricky cause he was your first everything. You may feel a bond towards him because of this and it may be a bit of a false feeling as far as love goes. I dont see why the time that you have spent apart should mean that you both dont have old feelings for eachother but looking at this objectively - do you think that you could build up a relationship with this man with the past hanging on in the background. He may find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that you have been married since you split up with him. It all depends what type of person he is really. Do you think that he can get on with your relationship without getting jealous about the fact that you have slept with someone else after him? He should do because you were quite entitiled to have a life after him. You should definitly go into this with your eyes open. If you still love him and feel that you would like to give it another go then thats fine but make sure that you stay in control of your own emotions and be stronger this time. Definitly take things VERY solwly and try and find out about eachother again. Go on a date with him by all means, do something that you both enjoy and take it as it comes. If you dont want to do this and feel as though you dont want to get involved with him again, make sure that you make that very clear straight away and dont lead him on, or give him false hopes. Good Luck with this and keep me posted. Wow! Josalina put it in very sweet words and you made it too clear. I understand what you're saying and I haven't said that I love him back. I like your style...lol He's a man that is holds my actions upon me everytime we speak. I'm not sure he can't let go. But I haven't asked.
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