Guest Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I have been married to the man of my dreams for a little over a year. I have NEVER been in a relationship where I was the jealous one except for this one. My husband is never the jealous one at all, but it seems like I have been in my relationship with him. Anyway, my husband is VERY outgoing and friendly and can start up a conversation with just about anyone, however, I find myself getting upset and stressed out at the fact that he is constantly getting in good with the woman at work. His previous job before we moved when we got married the woman threw him a party for getting married at work and they invited me. When I got there a younger girl about our age kind of blew me off gave us the present and said she had to go. My husband said that he never really talks to her anyways, but after a while he began telling me about coversations they had together etc. When he left work she gave him a card (at school, they went to college together also) about how shes going to miss him etc. When we moved he got an email from her saying how she missed him at work and all that crap. Now we get here (we moved) to a new state and he works with more woman one of which I wants to go out with her boyfriend and Matt and I out and socialize. He also sprung up something that they have a meeting (work related, but not at work) that he wants to go to and that she wants to go to and I told him that I didn't want them riding together and he got mad at me for not wanted them to ride together. I am just getting too upset lately because he is ALWAYS (not just these incidences) putting me in incidences where I am jealous and hurt. He knows that I am in a new place in my life right now and all alone from my family and he just doesn't care it seems. In our relationship I always tell him if you don't want me doing it then you shouldn't, but I have never put him in an incidence like these. Oh, and one more thing. He has an email account at work that he hasn't given to me (I know he has it though) and I asked him the other day who he writes and he said this lady from him work (he gave her name), but why do I have a sneaking suspicion that its that other girl and he just doesn't want to tell me? Am I too jealous?
Mz. Pixie Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 This is a gray area here, because you really have nothing to be suspicious about- yet. What were the circumstances of how you got together?? Have either of you cheated on the other in the past?? If he's never given you a reason not to trust him, then you need to trust him. I have male friends at work- but it's nothing. Every once in a while we email a bit about kids and such but it's just casual conversation. I've been to lunch with two of them a couple of times over several years. My husband is like your H. Very outgoing and friendly- can talk to anyone. But he never flirts. So if you think your H is crossing the line there well then I can see why you might be wary. My H has friends from college that are female and I could never ask him not to talk to them! I would say that if it's not excessive then you shouldn't worry and you shouldn't appear paranoid to your partner. No one likes someone that is that clingy. Relax- but keep your ears perked up just in case. Focus on how great you think you are- and your self esteem will go up- which will make you feel better.
Mirage222 Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Your married, he is YOUR husband ....if you don't stop being crazy like this one day he won't be... Just keep it in mind that you don't need to be jealous and you said it yourself that he is the happy, outgoing type a guy ... so, with him emailing, etc. it's no big deal, just who your husband is. So what if he did not give you his email account... I think that's nuts! Why so you can spy on him? Please Trust Your Husband!!
Annacabana Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I tend to think that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. I know all of my husband's email addy's and passwords and vice versa. Just ask him for the email address and password. See how he acts about it.If it is all innocent he shouldn't have a problem with you having it. Ask him how he would feel if you were the one with the unknown email address that was used for emailing another guy. He may not care,be the jealous type, but it would help him to see your side of things. Above all the definition of love that I have read, says love is not jealous. It is hard to deal with being accused of cheating when you have no thoughts of doing so. It can tear a relationship down fast. What is a marriage without trust?
stillafool Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I know how you feel. My husband is extremely goodlooking and friendly. His previous job in CA he worked with nothing but women and they were all over him. It use to get on my last nerve when we would go to company functions but he always made sure he was holding my hand and giving me full attention in front of them. They also told me he talks about me all the time. I just put them (the women) out of my mind and tried not to act jealous. It is very unattractive when a person is overly insecure with no proven reason. I was glad when we moved to this new state but guess what his new job has nothing but women working there too. Sometimes I wish my husband was a mechanic or something where he worked with more men but what can you do?
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