Don't know

[Desperato]

I really need help, I feel so alone. I know it's all my fault but I can't seem to shake this feeling...

 

Okay, well, I have two young children and am a stay-at-home mom. My husband works all day and is usually home just after the kids and I are finished dinner. We have been married five years.

 

Recently I have felt so bored that I have been e-mailing an ex of mine constantly during the day - I know I shouldn't do it but I have nobody to talk to and I feel so lonely.

 

Anyway, worse than that, I'm not sure I'm in love with my H anymore. It's not that I don't want to be in love with him but everything seems to take so much energy. We argue all the time because he NEVER helps around the house unless I shout at him to do something. He doesn't come to bed at the same time as me unless I guarantee him sex.

 

His answer to everything is that he wants to 'relax'. I'm sure he's tired after working all day but I am so starved of tenderness and communication and I'm so tired of acting as a referee for our kids (who always fight).

 

He gives out to me constantly because I never want to go out anywhere with him - but I get panic attacks every time I go out. I think I have developed Agoraphobia. If I go out and drink very quickly I'm usually okay but I don't want to have to get drink everytime I go out! He doesn't understand any of this. It makes me very depressed.

 

And don't think I haven't tried to make friends. I meet other mothers a few times a week but they're a lot older than me and just can't seem to make that close friendship connection... Sometimes I feel so down that I can't motivate myself to do anything. I just want to cry.

 

My H and I have been going to marriage counselling for the past year and a half but it doesn't seem to help. I don't know what to do....

 

Please help...

[whichwayisup]

Talk to your husband and let him know how you're feeling.

 

Sounds like you're depressed and don't have enough in your life, outside of your kids and house. I know you've said you've spent time with other women with kids, but keep doing it! Your kids will love spending time with other kids, so that's a positive.

 

Do you have family near by? A baby sitter who can come afew time a week for afew hours a day so you can get time by yourself? Join a gym, or just get out and about...

 

Getting intouch with your ex isn't a good idea, it just opens the door to an affair which I really don't think you wanna do.. You're lonely and need adult conversation, but going online to get it to talk to an ex isn't the way to go. TELL your husband everything, let him know how lonely you are and that you two must reconnect, otherwise you feel the marriage is going down the tubes...