aninchoff Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Are these following features insurmountable obstacles for attracting women? A. Vertically challenged. 5'6. Okay, I think I have other features that could offset this in person. However, would this be a significantly disqualifying item for online dating? At least 80 percent of the ads I see put me outside their preference. B. Looking young. No, I mean young. No, really, really young. I'm 32. I can be sitting down quietly minding my own business and people will walk up thinking I'm in high school, or just out. This is irritating as I have a very high IQ and probably often behave as someone in the 40s would. C. Very serious history of abuse. For my first 18 years I spent two of them with a pedophile, something my dad was aware of at the time my parents sent me to live with him. The other 16 were spent with a passive-aggressive alcoholic father and a hyper-religious, physically abusive mother, who attempted to eradicate every last ounce of my masculinity. This was followed by working for 8 years for a female boss who completely manipulated and terrorized me. I meet people, hear them talking about interesting things they've done in their past and feel overwhelmed given the amount of pain I've had to work through. Getting asked about growing up makes the conversation very akward. Okay, there are some good points. I have my own business and am pretty financially successful. Well-educated and intellectually razor-sharp (which is not always a good thing as I often come across as wonkish or nerdy). Great looking face, most women would probably rate it between a 7 and a 10, depending on preference. Very athletic and keep my body in awesome shape. Not that body building stuff, but rather a sleek swimmer's body. Decent sense of humor, which is sometimes too obscure for some to catch onto and does not translate well into groups of more than 5 or 6. One thing I have noticed is that younger women respond really well to me. 18 or 19 seems to be where I get the most notice, but I frequently see 15 year olds actively flirting with me (don't worry, that is SOLELY an observation to make the point). Problem is that I rarely find women my age intellectually challenging much less a 19 year old. I'm still getting used to the realization that college sophmores find me very attractive and the idea of reciprocating that still seems very weird. Also, there are just not that many 19ish women doing the online dating thing, which is one avenue I am exploring. BTW, I have done over 5 years of focused therapy regarding my abuse history, so don't tell me I need to seek counseling. It's done quite a bit for my internal state and my ability live a normal life. But it's done nothing for my abject inability to address my romantic desires. Honestly, I'd be content if I knew that my situation was beyond recovery given the three issues listed above. I have a life. I have friends, including women, who I care about and who care about me. I believe I could live a decent life if I really have too many hinderances over which I have no control. I will have a happy life regardless of whether or not women find me desireable, but sometimes I feel really left out when I'm with other people in everyday situations. The three issues I listed are beyond my control. I guess I'm just wondering if they make it impossible for me to have a normal dating experience that other people have. Thanks.
Pyro Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Are these following features insurmountable obstacles for attracting women? A. Vertically challenged. 5'6. Okay, I think I have other features that could offset this in person. However, would this be a significantly disqualifying item for online dating? At least 80 percent of the ads I see put me outside their preference. B. Looking young. No, I mean young. No, really, really young. I'm 32. I can be sitting down quietly minding my own business and people will walk up thinking I'm in high school, or just out. This is irritating as I have a very high IQ and probably often behave as someone in the 40s would. C. Very serious history of abuse. For my first 18 years I spent two of them with a pedophile, something my dad was aware of at the time my parents sent me to live with him. The other 16 were spent with a passive-aggressive alcoholic father and a hyper-religious, physically abusive mother, who attempted to eradicate every last ounce of my masculinity. This was followed by working for 8 years for a female boss who completely manipulated and terrorized me. I meet people, hear them talking about interesting things they've done in their past and feel overwhelmed given the amount of pain I've had to work through. Getting asked about growing up makes the conversation very akward. Okay, there are some good points. I have my own business and am pretty financially successful. Well-educated and intellectually razor-sharp (which is not always a good thing as I often come across as wonkish or nerdy). Great looking face, most women would probably rate it between a 7 and a 10, depending on preference. Very athletic and keep my body in awesome shape. Not that body building stuff, but rather a sleek swimmer's body. Decent sense of humor, which is sometimes too obscure for some to catch onto and does not translate well into groups of more than 5 or 6. One thing I have noticed is that younger women respond really well to me. 18 or 19 seems to be where I get the most notice, but I frequently see 15 year olds actively flirting with me (don't worry, that is SOLELY an observation to make the point). Problem is that I rarely find women my age intellectually challenging much less a 19 year old. I'm still getting used to the realization that college sophmores find me very attractive and the idea of reciprocating that still seems very weird. Also, there are just not that many 19ish women doing the online dating thing, which is one avenue I am exploring. BTW, I have done over 5 years of focused therapy regarding my abuse history, so don't tell me I need to seek counseling. It's done quite a bit for my internal state and my ability live a normal life. But it's done nothing for my abject inability to address my romantic desires. Honestly, I'd be content if I knew that my situation was beyond recovery given the three issues listed above. I have a life. I have friends, including women, who I care about and who care about me. I believe I could live a decent life if I really have too many hinderances over which I have no control. I will have a happy life regardless of whether or not women find me desireable, but sometimes I feel really left out when I'm with other people in everyday situations. The three issues I listed are beyond my control. I guess I'm just wondering if they make it impossible for me to have a normal dating experience that other people have. Thanks. Welcome to the shack. I always hear that woman want a guy taller than them, so your only option may be a woman shorter then you, but its all good. I am only 2 inches taller. Just be confident enough to the point that those three factors do not bother you. Why don't you spend more time going places that older women go to?
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