Guest Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I know my h was cheating on me and now he spends more time at home. I think they have stop seeing each other and I think he is going thur something. Do mm miss the ow? I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard
Hard2Think Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Nope. Not in the least - and until D-Day, I thought I loved her. Acknowledge that your H has chosen to stay with you .. so you are the one he loves. He obviously prefers to be without her than without you.
a4a Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I know my h was cheating on me and now he spends more time at home. I think they have stop seeing each other and I think he is going thur something. Do mm miss the ow? I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard Happy to lend you a fork. I think that some might and others like H2T don't. Only he knows how he feels.
lasan Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Yes it is possible he missed her. He spent time with her and has possibly quit seeing her quite abruptly. I have heard people liken it to going through withdrawl.
UnknowingOW Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 In my case, the xMM does miss me. Although we have not seen each other since I found out he was married (5-months now), he does contact me every morning.
typical Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard :lmao:
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Yes it is possible he missed her. He spent time with her and has possibly quit seeing her quite abruptly. I have heard people liken it to going through withdrawl. Probably this is what's going on with him. He may not be focussing on her, so maybe she's not in his mind so much. How is he acting with you in general? Is he sorry for what he did? Does he realize the affect it's had on you, the marriage and possibly your kids if you have any?
lasan Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Probably this is what's going on with him. He may not be focussing on her, so maybe she's not in his mind so much. A break-up with an OM/OW can be very much like one between non-cheaters. The same grieving process can apply. I know some people like to believe that their WS didn't have any real feelings for the OW/OM, but sometimes they do. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he was going through the normal stages one would go through after a break-up. Also lets not forget the "high" one gets from having an affair. With that gone, he is likely to be a bit off his game. (Of course knowing that you know all about his mis-deed could be putting him off his game as well)
will2power Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 This is what I felt in a similar situation as your MM. I am a MW that was with an MM and ended up back with my H. While I was making the decision to go back to H or not, I thought about my MM everyday. There were days that I wish I could hate him, but I just didn't have it in me. There were days when I wish he could hate me and resent me. In the end, I came to the resolution that while I care for him deeply and would always love him, he was just not going to be the one for me and I know that things between us cannot flourish because of his attachment to his home environment. After I got back with my H, I still missed my MM. I missed how he is. Eventually, I came to the realization that no matter what my H was willing to do, he just isn't the right man for me. That was not to say that my MM was either, but it was clearer and clearer to me that we were not good for each other. So he and I are now separated after trying for 6 more months. As for my xMM (now sMM), he missed me everyday. He thought of me everyday and didn't stop loving me. He's now separated from his W too but we are not jumping back into the relationship as we need to both heal from our current relationship. We are each other's sounding board and we know that if we didn't stop caring and loving each other while we were apart, then we'll be together once again, when the time is right. I am sorry to hear about your pain. I think in situation like these everyone gets hurt. Even your H hurts (at least I think he does). If he didn't leave you for the OW, he probably won't as long as you both try to look at the issues within the marriage and focus on that instead of the OW. She is a symptom of a breakdown and not the breakdown in itself. Not to discount H2T, but he experienced betrayal in his journey with his OW where as I didn't with mine and neither did I betray my sMM. Yes, an A is like an addiction. He'll feel withdrawal, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Now you and he needs to find out what needs to happen in order for both of you to find that 'in love' feeling for each other again. Good luck.
bullhunter Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Not for a second. I was just thank-ful to get her out of my life.
Guest Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 ... Well i know MM still thinks of me.... [ i think] But, i have already made the choice to let it be.. [ yes, i was a OW] ............ now all i want is for him to be happy...[im serz] with or without me he still tries to call. That how i know he still thinks of me... do i pick up... No =/ i cant do it to myself nor to him anymore....I know where he belongs.... ANyways... JUst thought id put my input....
Guest Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I know my h was cheating on me and now he spends more time at home. I think they have stop seeing each other and I think he is going thur something. Do mm miss the ow? I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard To answer your question, yes he does miss her. I am the OW - and the W got drift of our A. We stopped seeing each other, although communicated almost everyday - don't flame me - I don't know why we can not stay away from each other. I've tried and I know he has also. After about two months we starting meeting again, sorry to burst your bubble but he will probably go back to seeing her, he may even have more than one OW. I found out that I was not the first, and I am sure I won't be his last OW. I do believe if he was confronted by his W and she asked him to leave, he would move out. But until that happens, he will continue to cheat and live at home. I have asked him why he cheats, he tells me he is happy with his marriage but enjoys being with me also. Again please do not flame me, it takes two to cheat we are both wrong and we know it. He will not leave you because it will cost him money. I do not want him to leave you because in truth I have no desire to be you. Sorry for your pain.
Guest two Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 I know my h was cheating on me and now he spends more time at home. I think they have stop seeing each other and I think he is going thur something. Do mm miss the ow? I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard Yes, MM do miss OW once it is over. I have been witness to that. My father cheated on my mother with different women throughout their marriage. There was one in particular he really fell in love with, but for unknown reasons she up and left him and moved to another state. He was devastated, I had never seen my father in such a state of intense sorrow. Mind you my father without any regards to my mother's feelings would carry on relationships with these women. He went out and did what he pleased with no guilt whatsoever. The only thing is that he would not spend the night with these women, he would always come home to sleep. Maybe in his mind that justified his behavior and cleared his conscience. My father went through some sort of depression for about 4-6 months after this woman left him. He would go to work and then come home and sulk around the house. He would sleep a lot and displayed all tell-tale signs of someone going through a hurtful break-up. Once my father came to his senses he never cheated on my mother again. My mother expressed gratefulness- as sick as it may sound, to this last women my father cheated with, because she thinks he then knew how it felt to be heartbroken and hurt, it comforts my mother to know my father had a small taste of what she went through with him. Again, it is possible to grieve and miss the ow, but if he is remorseful, and wants to work on his marriage, I believe there might be some hope. Good luck to you, and I am sorry for your pain. I know what it feels like to be cheated on, I have been in relationships where I have been betrayed. In addition to that I know what it feels like to have someone you idolize like my father go ahead and rip your heart out and throw it away. I do not wish this not even to my worst of enemies. Just in case you are wondering- if I ever forgave my father, the answer is YES. WHY? Because he is now an old man and he has been a better grandfather to my sons than he was a father to me. Of course he, in small ways has tried to make up for his bad behavior, and thats okay by me. I do not want to end up a bitter, and resentful woman. Life is too short for that!
Freedom Now Posted October 2, 2006 Posted October 2, 2006 I have no idea if my xMM misses me or not. I blocked his email and he can't call me any longer. I would surmise that before I did this, he missed me because he contacted me. After months of being dragged through an emotional hell, I am no longer interested in whether he misses me or not. I loved him and he stayed with her. He says he loves me, but still stays. Perhaps he does miss me, or perhaps he doesn't. I guess the only one who can answer that question would be him....
silktricks Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I find it interesting that the only MM who posted on this thread said that they did NOT miss the OW. The OW who posted ALL said the MM missed them. hmmmmm does that tell us anything?
Guest Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 hmmmmm does that tell us anything? That there are way more women on these kinds of sites than men?
Freedom Now Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Correction, Silktricks, from one of the "OW": I said that I didn't know nor did I care if he missed me. I don't care one way or another. Funny, though.... I had to block HIM from my email and phone- not the other way around. Wonder who misses who?
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I know my h was cheating on me and now he spends more time at home. I think they have stop seeing each other and I think he is going thur something. Do mm miss the ow? I am curious cause I am ready to stab that bastard That's very funny. Jokes aside, he probably does miss her - especially since you've alluded to him "going through something" and is home more often. However, the important thing that he is staying with you. He chose you over the OW. Nonetheless, I'd strongly suggest the two of you go to marriage counseling. A good long talk between the two of you is seriously overdue!!!
Love_of_my_Life Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I do not miss her at all. Looking back I do not even know what I was feeling and/or doing.
PoshPrincess Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 That there are way more women on these kinds of sites than men? That's just what I was thinking. I was an OW too though and KNOW my MM misses me. Obviously I miss him but he's the one phoning, telling me he thinks about me all the time, etc. Mind you, he is in an unhappy marriage and is supposedly just there for the kids. Maybe it's different for MMs who are generally happy in their home life.
PoshPrincess Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 I do not miss her at all. Looking back I do not even know what I was feeling and/or doing. So maybe in a year's time my MM will be saying exactly the same!
broken wings Posted October 6, 2006 Posted October 6, 2006 freedom now...wish I had the courage to block my mm email and number. That is pretty tough to imagine. I hope I can do that soon. we are in the nc stage right now.
Freedom Now Posted October 7, 2006 Posted October 7, 2006 Thanks.... I mustered up all the courage and strength I had and "grew some balls." And I am okay. I really am.
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