SUMMER 1969 Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I am sure a lot of you read my other posts called I want to die.. I am trying to feel better and trying to be strong, but today I am having a really bad day.. I miss my ex very much, and I am so scared to be alone again..I am afraid I will never find a man and I will never have kids.. I will be 30 in a few months and I am totally freaking out here.. Is this normal? I know there are not many people that will be 30 soon that has never been married or has never had kids.. I feel like a looser.. Any advise would be great Summer
Teacher's Pet Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I miss my ex very much, and I am so scared to be alone again..I am afraid I will never find a man and I will never have kids.. I will be 30 in a few months and I am totally freaking out here.. It's normal, when you are out of a relationship, to have that "lost" feeling. When my ex dumped me in June, I thought my love life was over for good. I'm still not dating anyone, but the people closest to me showed me that losing a lover, doesn't equate to losing the ability TO love. As long as you know how to love someone, love will always find a way to you, in some shape or form. Is this normal? I know there are not many people that will be 30 soon that has never been married or has never had kids.. I feel like a looser.. It's VERY normal. I'm 35, single, never married, and no kids. I don't feel like a loser, and neither should you! Never settle for just ANYTHING, just to have SOMETHING. We're all in this together, Summer. Stay active on LS. You will learn how to heal your broken heart. I know I sure did, and I have to admit, I've been pretty happy lately, even without someone! Remember....SUMMERs are full of sunshine...so.... shine on, sister! -tp corny as hell means well
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted September 28, 2006 Author Posted September 28, 2006 Awww, thank you.. I know I just need to love myself, I am just so scared of being alone forever, and I just feel worthless since I will be 30 with no kids and have never been married.. I just feel like its not normal.. Maybe I feel that way since so many people judge me since I am still single.. I don't know.. I just feel alone and useless.. I guess it is normal to feel this way after a break up.. I hope my ex feels like crap.. Oops, that sliped..
D-Lish Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 You know what would make you feel better? Go on a trip to some warm beachy island... haha D
D-Lish Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Can you smell my feet from Wisconsin? My dog just passed out... anyone know doggie CPR?
Guest Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Hi Summer 1969, I think its normal. There are just too many people these days who are getting divorced with kids and the statistics show that half of those married cheat. Its better to wait to find the right guy instead of rushing. im sorry that you feel so alone. I get those days too, especially on Sundays when i am by myself and resting from partying so much with my friends. i am on LS during those times... I am 25 and I hang out with guys who are around 30 and they are still single. Its okay and very normal, they like you are looking for their mates but they are waiting for the right one, like you. keep your heads up missy! Mr. Right might be around and you may never know when they will come. ;D Good luck Summer 1969 -Loveinlife
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted September 28, 2006 Author Posted September 28, 2006 My dog peed in my bed! I woke up with pee all over me!!! An yes, I can speell those flippers! Get some spray! ha-ha
Guest Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I am sure a lot of you read my other posts called I want to die.. I am trying to feel better and trying to be strong, but today I am having a really bad day.. I miss my ex very much, and I am so scared to be alone again..I am afraid I will never find a man and I will never have kids.. I will be 30 in a few months and I am totally freaking out here.. Is this normal? I know there are not many people that will be 30 soon that has never been married or has never had kids.. I feel like a looser.. Any advise would be great Summer I can surely related to how your feeling. I'm 22 and I lost my girlfriend of 3 years whom i was once engaged to about 3 weeks ago. It just started hitting me really hard about 5 days ago. I am still waking up in the morning with my body shacking in shear anxiety of having lost her and not being able to get her back. Bigger of it all is she is with another guy whom is making her happy. I have never been closer to anyone than her. I'm scared as hell being alone. Makes me feel like a baby when I know i'm not. Let me know how its going Jeff
riobikini Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 OK -I had kids before I was 30- but that still doesn't make you "abnormal". (Smile) I have a 30 year old son (he's the plumber who makes more $$ than I do), a 28 year old son(the bandleader who is- to my mild dismay-like the proverbial rolling stone), and two daughters, a 10 year old (the tough-on-the outside, mush-on-the-inside, smart-mouthed tomboy), and an 8 year old (the demurely entertaining and aspiring singer/dancer/actress in the family). An eclectic mix of personalities that, somehow, works. But even though I have children, I can still identify with your feeling of panic, though, in regards to not being in a relationship of major significance. I am a person who doesn't like to be alone -but I am learning to embrace it as a natural stage necessary to all aspects of my growth. And, actually, I am thriving -not just "getting by". I have only recently (in the last few months) begun to see someone for the first time since a difficult breakup that began last year around November. The whole tone of the relationship with the person I am now seeing is very different than those I have had in the past -laid back, non-pressured- and I am much more content than I have been in years. As it turns out, I never needed the intense emotional "sparks" I thought I needed to feel happy, at all. I think it's a combination of the expectation that we must have (or will die from the lack of) someone to fill an emotional void, or that we must hurry to "catch up" to our same age and peer group as far as content of our lifestyle (marriage, children, etc.) -and is probably what causes most of all that panic, a lot of the time- in regards to having -or not having- a significant romantic relationship. I know that you must also be considering your not being fully committed, by now, with all the responsibilities of having a long-term relationship in biological terms, as well as other life-fulfilling ideals that you may feel -in a way- "obligated" to be demonstrating right now. Personally, given the fact that there are millions just like you, who are feeling and thinking in the very same way, I think you are quite normal. Don't obssess too much about the subject; try to let your life flow in it's own natural direction. Don't force it. I seriously doubt there many people out there who never once got the opportunity to form some kind of meaningful long-term romantically-related relationship with someone else. I just think you have to be prepared for the opportunity. No matter what time of your life that it happens to come around. (Smile) Hope this helps. Take care. -Rio
quankanne Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 As long as you know how to love someone, love will always find a way to you, in some shape or form. this is probably the greatest undetected truth of life: that love seeks love, and if you're someone capable of sharing it, it always will come back to you. Whether you're alone and wanting a mate, childless and hoping for a little one, etc. Love seeks love ... Summer, I know how crappy it can be ending a relationship, and how lonely it gets, even though it's been awhile since I've been on the dating scene. Maybe it's time to start thinking of this as your time to shine, to start doing the things you've always wanted to do or try, but couldn't because of the constraints of a relationship. It doesn't make you miss someone any less, but it definitely gives you a better sense of what you can accomplish and helps the process go more smoothly at times. ... I'm curious: Why did the dog pee in your bed?
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted September 28, 2006 Author Posted September 28, 2006 Thank you all.. My dog is crazy! I woke up in the middle of the night to eat a cookie, and when I got back to my bed I wa laying in doggy pee! It was everywhere! He is naughty and he knows it! No treats for him today! lol
Ariadne Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Hey, I am afraid I will never find a man and I will never have kids.. I will be 30 in a few months and I am totally freaking out here.. Yeah, that totally sucks! Life sucks. Ariadne
Lost Girl Next Door Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Summer - I have a 5 year old that demands all of my time and I still feel alone! I am 32, and HAPPILY divorced. I wouldn't have wished my marriage on anyone whatsoever. The only wonderful thing that I have from that relationship is my beautiful daughter. I have often felt like you and am currently going thru those feelings yet again. I wanted to be married again - this time to a wonderful, laid back man who seemed to really "get" me. But alas, marriage scared the hell out of him and here I am again all alone. He moved on after like four months and I am here just trying to make sense of what I want out of this crazy life. When you break up and try to move on, you just feel so lost and alone. There are times I look at my daughter and just start crying because I feel like I have somehow cheated her out of having two parents. It is hard whether you have a little one or you are just by yourself trying to make sense out of the pain. Just know that others have gone thru and are going thru the same anquish and misery as you are. I wish I could sugar coat it, but why lie to you? Have you seen Under the Tuscan Sun? That movie really made me try to gain some new perspective on my life and this breakup. I wish you the best Summer. Just hang in there and thanks for your posts. I hope others on here realize too just how much these posts mean to people out there like me. I read them and somehow - slowly even - gain a deeper perspective on this whole experience. Lost girl next door -
quankanne Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 My dog is crazy! I woke up in the middle of the night to eat a cookie, and when I got back to my bed I wa laying in doggy pee! is he a puppy? an older dog? or maybe just sick? Normally they don't pee in the place they sleep unless it's one of those circumstances. Or it could have just been that the dog was really angry that you didn't offer to share the cookies!!! :laugh: mine fakes sleep when I nag at him (not very often, but still, he doesn't like being nagged/yelled at). Stinker.
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted September 28, 2006 Author Posted September 28, 2006 I guess I am just so scared I will never have anyone to love me.. I am so scared that I am getting to old to have kids.. I am not one of those woman you can walk by and she gets pregnet.. Ya know I work in a bar and I don't even know where to go to meet people, but to be honest with you, I am not ready to jump head first into another realtionship, as I am still trying to grasp the fact that I am not with my ex anymore.. I am sure what I am feeling is normal, I just want a family so bad.. I know I am a pretty girl and all and I know I have a great attitiude, but for some odd reason I always find the wrong men.. I guess we all do since we are on this website, but there are not that many people that are 30 with no kids and have never been married.. It is very scary to me.. As far as my dog, well he is 2 years old and I am still working on the potty training issue.. He is a little dog and does not listen at all!!!! Trust me. I think he is the devils son!!! Ha-Ha
Teacher's Pet Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I work in a bar and I don't even know where to go to meet people, but to be honest with you, I am not ready to jump head first into another realtionship, as I am still trying to grasp the fact that I am not with my ex anymore.. Summer, I'm in the same boat. I bartend on the weekends, and it's just amazing how people are. Watching from the POV of a bartender is pretty fascinating, ya know.. I just had a recent "flirtation" with one of my regulars, which ended in nothing... lol But it was pretty funny.. (she threw up next to my car when I drove her home, and then tried to seduce me when I walked her back to her apartment) lol More stories to tell the grankids.. -tp shoulda nailed her when he had the chance lol (just kidding)
Ariadne Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Hey, I just want a family so bad.. I imagine... But hey, you can have kids till you are 45. Well, something like that. Worse comes to worse you can get an artificial insemination like Jodie Foster did. Ariadne
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted September 29, 2006 Author Posted September 29, 2006 Do you have any clue how much artificial insemination costs??? Too much Not only that, but I did not have a father in my life so I don't want to have kids with no father.. I may want kids bad, but I would never try and hurt them on purpose. Without a father in there life does hurt people.. I know, I was just a little girl when my dad left me and just recently he contacted me to say he was sorry.. But for 25 years I did not know what happened to him and I did not ever have a dad to protect me.. So, think twice before you have a child without a father.
Ariadne Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Oh, Do you have any clue how much artificial insemination costs??? Too much... I don't want to have kids with no father.. Ok, forget it then. Ariadne
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