The girls who were bitches 20 yrs ago are now bitter catherders

[lindya]

At least, you're venting some of the anger -and LS is a good place to vent- but I agree that most women are not going to respond to your posts with help and encouragement if you keep using the "C" word (as well as certain others).

 

That's one of the problems with people venting on a message board - or anywhere else, for that matter. It draws a negative reaction from other people, so whatever anger led to the vent is just perpetuated and the person doesn't come any closer to managing the anger that's probably contributing towards their problems.

 

A lot of people post here because they like trying to help people sort through difficulties in their life. That "helping" instinct shouldn't be mistaken for a green light encouraging people to spew out all kinds of poison at a particular group (in this case single women in their 30s or over).

[iron_m]

...But in mine (academic environment of a small university town in the midwest), most of the "available" women are very very interesting...

 

I am going through a divorce so I'm not into dating anyone right now, but I hung out a lot with fellow grad students and colleagues (researchers, technicians) from the university and most of them (believe it or not) are single women (let's say in the 25-35 y.o. range).

 

Most of these women are very nice, inteligent people, good friends, excellent activity partners, and they are very supportive of my condition of single, custodial father. I don't see that they are bitches or anything like that, on the contrary they are very mature and responsible women.

Oh! and they are probably somewhat concerned about the scarcity of good men by the time they graduate/settle with a permanent position.

 

Plus, they are from all over the world, so I'm prety sure that in this diversity almost anyone (seriously interested) could come across a romantic partner.

 

So I don't see the situation depicted in the first post... but the contrary.

 

Now, If this reality will hold the day I am ready to date again and think of a relationship, it is unknown to me. My guess though is that in this environment, the most interesting women (to me, of course) tend to stay single for a longer time.

[Gunny376]

...But in mine (academic environment of a small university town in the midwest), most of the "available" women are very very interesting...

 

I am going through a divorce so I'm not into dating anyone right now, but I hung out a lot with fellow grad students and colleagues (researchers, technicians) from the university and most of them (believe it or not) are single women (let's say in the 25-35 y.o. range).

 

Most of these women are very nice, inteligent people, good friends, excellent activity partners, and they are very supportive of my condition of single, custodial father. I don't see that they are bitches or anything like that, on the contrary they are very mature and responsible women.

Oh! and they are probably somewhat concerned about the scarcity of good men by the time they graduate/settle with a permanent position.

 

Plus, they are from all over the world, so I'm prety sure that in this diversity almost anyone (seriously interested) could come across a romantic partner.

 

So I don't see the situation depicted in the first post... but the contrary.

 

Now, If this reality will hold the day I am ready to date again and think of a relationship, it is unknown to me. My guess though is that in this environment, the most interesting women (to me, of course) tend to stay single for a longer time.

 

"Give me fire and I will give you wood!"

 

Interestingly enough, we often cannot see the forsest for the trees, nor the trees for the forsest.

 

I too live in a University town, but in the deep pine thickets of Alabama, you literally have to travel approximately forty miles in either direction, be it East, West, North or South to get to the next largest "city" (The laragest one has a population of 250,000 while the next largest has a population of about 80,000.

 

Being a retired Marine, a college graduate ~ I figured I had more to offer your stereotypical female, (which I had "blindbed" myself to being but a HS graduate or less, with a car load of "youngin's" and a drawerfull of bills, and trying to make it while working two jobs that pay $6.50 an hour. Not to come across as being stuck on myself, nor do I think I'm better than the next person (although just as damn good) the kind of woman I'm looking for has to be of the intellectual persuassion. (And, yes I still can't spell ~ its a mental block). A beautiful body is wonderful ~ but a beautiful body with a strong mind ~ :love:

 

Oddly enough, until Ironman posted ~ it never occurred to me until just now that the academic circles that I'm surrounded by (lieterally) are the ones that I need to be moving in.

[iron_m]

"Give me fire and I will give you wood!"

 

Interestingly enough, we often cannot see the forsest for the trees, nor the trees for the forsest.

 

I too live in a University town, but in the deep pine thickets of Alabama, you literally have to travel approximately forty miles in either direction, be it East, West, North or South to get to the next largest "city" (The laragest one has a population of 250,000 while the next largest has a population of about 80,000.

 

Being a retired Marine, a college graduate ~ I figured I had more to offer your stereotypical female, (which I had "blindbed" myself to being but a HS graduate or less, with a car load of "youngin's" and a drawerfull of bills, and trying to make it while working two jobs that pay $6.50 an hour. Not to come across as being stuck on myself, nor do I think I'm better than the next person (although just as damn good) the kind of woman I'm looking for has to be of the intellectual persuassion. (And, yes I still can't spell ~ its a mental block). A beautiful body is wonderful ~ but a beautiful body with a strong mind ~ :love:

 

Oddly enough, until Ironman posted ~ it never occurred to me until just now that the academic circles that I'm surrounded by (lieterally) are the ones that I need to be moving in.

 

Trust me, an american university is a small world in itself with an incredible variety of (single) people. Let's forget about the "kids" in the undergrad , but among the grad students, young researchers and even professors there is more than enough to sort through...

 

Never married is certainly a big category, (young?) divorced people is another one... with kids, without them, you name it...

there is people for every taste and preference out there, I guess.

 

Heck! even my STBXW could be a good prospect for some men once she puts her nuts and bolts back in place (and probably something simmilar applies to me, really )... Hey! No! I am not writting a "marital recomendation letter" for her... not in a million years!

 

Now, seriously, for some reason, there is more women than men... at least in my university.

 

It is true that this environment is very competitive, and women (particularly) learn that the hard way and tend to be very independent even to the extreme to appear (and be) selfish sometimes.

 

But the good thing I perceive in my female friends is that all of them have a very clear vision of what they want: What kind of relationship, job, life, family and of course, man they want. And they are not the type that "settle for less".

 

Also consider that these girls/women, do not have a lot of time available so they are very straightforward to tell others what they expect from the people around them instead of letting things happen, play "guess games" and then try to patch up relationships (either romantic, platonic, work or whatever). Again, that may be seen as positive or negative by different people.

 

and IMHO, absolutely essential in this little world is to have a clear vision of what you want and be absolutely sincere from the begining. (I guess that should be important in ANY setting, but here is definitely a MUST)

 

It is not necesary to have a novel price to apeal to people (men or women) in academia -though that will surely help with some -, not even you have to speak good english (set aside spell it! )... but, of course, narrow-minded hillbilies without any conversation topic, an a biased vision of women/men issues will have it very, very hard .

 

So, Gunny, go for it, man!

at the very least you will be making friends with very interesting people, I guess...

[LaughMachine]

I never once read a generalization towards ALL women, but to the ones who could have possibly needed that name calling. In time I believe everyone gets what they desearve. I've seen it done so many times. I don't see how you managed to get in touch with all the rotten left overs, but since their rotten...I'm sure no body else but you wanted them haha jk...