Walk Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 I'm glad you decide against sending the letter, either version. I've done that a time or two in my past, and never got a response back... But why would I? They weren't men enough to tell me to my face why they dissappeared, why would they respond to a letter? They don't. Then I felt like... hmm.. like dirt because it seemed like they STILL got the upper hand because they never responded to my letter either. Really wasn't happy at all. Also.. Some of my guy friends have gotten these letters in the past, and it's all a big joke to them. Bragged to all their friends about how much the girl wanted him back. They all got a big laugh out of it... I think that pretty much solidified my desire to never send a letter to that type of guy. Maybe ask one of your guy friends a hypothetical "how would he respond if" question... and see what he says. Just seems to me that guys see it as a big ego stroke and a huge laugh. But not any of the pain you feel right now.
Walk Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 Haha. Thanks everyone. I have a lot to learn, I know. *sigh* You all win. I'll give it a rest. Don't go away!!! Just because people on here didn't think the letter was in your best interest doesn't mean it was a contest. It hurts like hell to go through what you did, and at least you wanted to be proactive about it. That takes some guts. But the way you wanted to go about it wasn't really as... uh... empowering as it could be for you. And from the collective experience on here... really doesn't get postive results from it... It's not a slight against you in anyway. Just that some of us have done that and it ended very poorly. And in hindsight should have been avoided. p.s. If I were you and absolutely felt I had to return the cd (not just pawn it off on someone else), then I'd send it without writing a single thing on it. Just his address. No "you jerk" etc. A non-verbal statement of "I'm done with you.". Sometimes less is more.
tangerine trees Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 haha I didn't mean "you win" in an angry way. That sharing it with guys a laughing about the letter thing sounds terrifying. *shudders* Bah! That's just cruel. I have to admit, I've kind of been on the other end of this situation before. This might be karma. When I was 14, I was immature, inexperienced, etc, etc. This guy called me and asked me to hang out, and at that age that was a BIG DEAL ha and I couldn't just be mature and hand out with him as a friend nooo so I told him maybe I could hang out, and then ignored his calls when he called back. Very, very bitchy of me. I'm ashamed now, and I felt REALLY bad when I did it too, I just didn't know how to deal with it. And appearently he REALLY liked me, because, he made such a big stink out of it. I didn't talk to him after because I assumed he hated me, and he had a right to. Not talking to him just fueled the hate though. He even wrote a really dramatic song about me comparing me to "the wires the sitches that hold me together and cut me apart." Of course I wasn't supposed to be aware this song was about me, but he played it at all the local band venues and somehow everyone knew. It was a mess! I just didn't like him that way, and I didn't know how to deal with the situation. But, I DID learn my lesson in the aftermath. I would NEVER do that to anyone again. The funny thing is we're actually good friends now. Sorry that was a bit of a tangent, but kind of related. What I'm trying to say is hopefully his dropping off of the universe doesnt mean that hes cold hearted and doesnt care at all. Hopefully it just means he's immature and lacks the abiltiy to deal with things in a responsible manner. I guess this is in response to the person who said he probably wouldn't even read the letter. And, I kind of like the idea of just sending the CD without anything on it. Hmmm..... Not that he really NEEDS it back. I certainly don't want it. Its this terrible grindcore stuff. (Descripiton: The vocals sound like demonzied pigs and the music is really loud electrical guitar and other grating instruments with no coherent melody. At least I don't have to deal with listening to this **** in the car anymore.) I'll ponder that one. And I'll DEFINENTLY ask my guy friends about this, thats what I do best, ha.
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