Astano Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 Although this may not seem at first like it fits into this forum it will eventually! This is a tale with quite a bit of history, so I will try and briefly summarise first. However, I must warn that this is not a tale for people with conservative ideas about life and love! This whole sorry tale started when I was sixteen, I came out to my best friend and a few months later in a fit of drunken stupidity I told her I was in love with her. She let me down quite gently as, at the time she didn't think she could be in a relationship with another woman, and we continued being friends. However, I have never (even after six years) quite gotten over her. The friendship was fine, I still loved her, but knew I would never get to be with her and I gradually became able to deal with it. Things, however, were soon to change. Three years ago, on the night before I went to uni, I had a threesome with her and her soon to be husband. This brought all my feelings back upto the surface. Since then we have had quite frequent encounters and gradually, I was again able to deal with the fact that I should be happy she loved me enough to share something so intimate with me. Now, the pertinent part of the tale; on Saturday, I had a, drunken, conversation with her husband. He said it was plainly obvious that we both had feelings that went way beyond friendship and that we should talk about the situation when we were sober as he wouldn't mind if she had a relationship with me. I dismissed the idea as I thought I would never get what I wanted out of that sort of relationship. However, since saturday I havn't been able to stop thinking 'what if'? I spoke to her by text message yesterday telling her I couldn't stop thinking about it even though I know it's a bad idea. She said she was ignoring everything (just what is that supposed to mean?) adn that she didn't want me to get hurt as she didn't think she could give me what I wanted out of a that sort of relationship as her husband would always come first. I am not pleased with the outcome and I don't think she is either. I really don't know what to do next. I think she wants to make the whole thing go away as although she has feelings for me she is too scared of taking a risk and one of us getting hurt. So, my questions are:Can this sort of thing ever work?What should I do next?If you are a husband who has been in this situation could you deal with the fact that your wife was sleeping with someone else?
whichwayisup Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 She said she was ignoring everything (just what is that supposed to mean?) adn that she didn't want me to get hurt as she didn't think she could give me what I wanted out of a that sort of relationship as her husband would always come first. I read that and to me it means that she is aware of your feelings, and because of that she doesn't want to lead you on - Make you believe that there will be a relationship (as in romantic, long term, serious) because she's married. Seems she's bi-sexual and obviously enjoys fooling around with you. It's just the feelings you have are different than what you feel for her. You're getting more attached and she's not. Her ignoring this, just means she isn't willing to deal with 'the talks' afterward. Up to you, but you need to think about how this is going to affect your heart. It isn't just about sex and having fun. To them, the threesome seems like it's exciting, and not something that is going to turn into a long term thing. You're getting in deeper, and she senses that...She loves her husband, and has no plans of being only with you. I know it probably hurts to read this, but the reality of your situation may bring you alot of pain in the near future...It's fun now, but for how long before your heart hurts more and more? Only you can decide what's best for you. Listen to your gut - I think it's telling you alot more than you realize.
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