scaredinlove Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I been posting here before about my A being found out by the MM's wife and that she was going crazy.I decided to tell my husband he is very upset, I thought he was going to be p*** but he is just very very upset. I wonde if it was a good choice anyway. He wants me to stayand works thinngs out.I feel I Live in a different world now and maybe a better world when this all calms down.About my marriage I don't know if it can be saved but we are at least more honest to each other.I still don't understand how this all happened,and this is not the way I expected it would end.I guess we all are going to survive somehow.
quankanne Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 that took a lot of courage to share that kind of information with your husband. Does this mean you are going to put the affair behind you?
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I hope your husband is as honest with you as you are being with him. Things can be fixed, but only if this is something you both want. I'm sure in your mind there are tons of ?'s that he needs to answer, just as you need to answer his questions.
Sup Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I hate to tell ya, but the anger part is yet to come.
Author scaredinlove Posted September 27, 2006 Author Posted September 27, 2006 that took a lot of courage to share that kind of information with your husband. Does this mean you are going to put the affair behind you? The affair is over and life is a crazy mess at this moment>i really start to dooubt if it wise to tell my H about the A.He is so miserable that I don't know what will be next.He cryes and than curses and it has been happening since sunday night.I am suffering too, for him and for the other that I will never meet agin or talk again. I don't know what gona happened with the marriaage we are going to see a counselor.
Sup Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 The affair is over and life is a crazy mess at this moment>i really start to dooubt if it wise to tell my H about the A.He is so miserable that I don't know what will be next.He cryes and than curses and it has been happening since sunday night.I am suffering too, for him and for the other that I will never meet agin or talk again. I don't know what gona happened with the marriaage we are going to see a counselor. Not to bash you, but, this is what YOU did to your husband. I hope you think it was worth it.
pricillia Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Not to bash you, but, this is what YOU did to your husband. I hope you think it was worth it. yeah whatever a relationship takes two, she made a mistake, I know that an affair is not an excuse for a troubled relationship, who knows what was going on between them
Sup Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 yeah whatever a relationship takes two, she made a mistake, I know that an affair is not an excuse for a troubled relationship, who knows what was going on between them That is true.
Author scaredinlove Posted September 28, 2006 Author Posted September 28, 2006 yeah whatever a relationship takes two, she made a mistake, I know that an affair is not an excuse for a troubled relationship, who knows what was going on between them My H broke the vow when he decided he would do only what he wanted, he would work whenever he wntd and don't care if we had no money to eat. For years he only thought of himself.That is not a excuse for the A I should had just left. But I didn't and the A was a scape volve.Now I am trying to mend things and start again, but the road is very bump. when you say it takes two to makes a relationship you are telling my story. I was in this relatinship it is true nut I was alone in this marriage for long time and them I abandoned it ,now I am not sure how to go back and not sure if I want to go back.He wants to go back to have a relationship, to close this chapter in our lives.I am lost, wonder if telling was any good,wondering if I want to be with him or what...though times!We are going to see a counselor , hope it can help.
feelssoright Posted September 30, 2006 Posted September 30, 2006 I totally sypathize with you. I am in your exact shoes. I had a workaholic husband whom I didn't think cared about me no more. We drifted far apart, and began to live separate lives. I found someone that listened to me, told me I was beautiful, told me he wanted to take care of me, told me everything I wanted to hear. I had an A, and H found out through an email 6 weeks ago, and my life has been a roller coaster ever since. We have decided we want to work on it, and are doing fairly well, but there are moments, and there will be days. I had a bad week this week, because I am having a hard time forgiving myself. Every time I look into my husbands eyes, I still see the pain I caused him and hate myself for it. As hard as we are working, we both know that there are no guarantees to whether or not this marriage is going to work. But, we are trying, trying hard, and that is all we can do. I have been very patient and respectful to his feelings. He wants to know every little detail of what happened, and I tell him the truth. No lies...and, as much as it hurts him to hear it...I tell him, because I want that honesty back. I have had absolutely NC with MM for 4 weeks now, and he is also working on his marriage from what I know, and now look back at it as a stupid selfish mistake. And, like I said before, although my husband has told me he's forgiven me, I cannot find it in myself to forgive what I've done...and never want to see him in pain like that again, and am so scared to fail him again no matter how hard I try not to. The only advice I can give you is that if you want it to work, give it your all. Be honest, not only with your H, but with yourself about how your feeling. Be patient, because you broke his heart, and now need to mend it. It could take months or years.....so hang in there! Good luck!
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