Ripples Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Fun2BMe, I am going to finish my long-term relationship with my partner. He's been married before and has a son with his ex-wife and so consequently is in very regular contact with her. I see now that he must still have sexual chemistry with her must be unable to see her without lusting after her. It's over for me and him. Never mind the fact that he split with his ex nine years ago, never mind that he shows me every day how much he loves me, never mind that I'm more content with him than I've ever been with anyone else, never mind that he has shown me that his ex means nothing more to him than being the mother of his son, never mind that the reasons for their splitting led them both to stop find each other attractive. It's obviously all a ploy for him to jump into bed with her at any opportunity. Thank the lord you've shown me the truth of the matter. To the OP, you sound pretty sensible and I think your BF probably knows he's onto a good thing with you. Walk has given (as always) really good ideas. I'm sure this will blow over
Island Girl Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I think it was just a coincidence. It has been over 5 years after all and people change jobs, etc. It sound like he was just as surprised as she was. I would be angry if I was made to leave a good job that I was excited about just because my ex worked next door. Now that said, I would do what ever it took otherwise to help my husband be comfortable about what was happening while I was at work, but I'd be irritated if he tried to tell me I had to quit because he was feeling insecure. And really PO'd if he insisted.
Fun2BMe Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Ripples, I was taking into consideration that a) she's had trust issues with him in the past b) she had a gut feeling something was wrong c) the possibility that it is a coincidence that she happens to work next door you have to admit are slim and d) she didn't describe their relationship like yours. So fine, let him stay at that location and let's hope everything will be ok. My unpopular advice was only for trying to protect her from increasing the chances of her getting hurt. That's all.
a4a Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I have to deal with my X all the time. Not happy about it but I don't hide anything including phone calls. Hell the X even comes to our home on occassion or I have to go with the X for business reasons. But I don't hide a damn thing from the H. And he is quite aware of all doings between the X and I. If your bf is hiding things he may not even have told you she was there. If he is uncomfortable he will find a new job soon enough. Just talk to him about it. Any normal person may get a flash of insecurity and he should understand your feelings on the subject. Hell maybe the X will seek new employment?
Foreva86 Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Well it's been awhile now. I haven't been that insecure since then except for this incident. Our relationship has been quite equal I suppose. Well I hope. Maybe I should ask him how he feels about all of it. We have a really long history. I kind of grew up with him in a sense. Like way back in high school so it's been a long journey
a4a Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Well it's been awhile now. I haven't been that insecure since then except for this incident. Our relationship has been quite equal I suppose. Well I hope. Maybe I should ask him how he feels about all of it. We have a really long history. I kind of grew up with him in a sense. Like way back in high school so it's been a long journey that is a good idea as long as you don't accuse or blame him.
Foreva86 Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Well would just like to say once again for like the 3rd or 4th time thanks for all of the advice from everyone. Appreciate it all but i better go to bed now got work tomorrow. Thanks guys
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