G.for.Girl Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Please share your thoughts on the relationship books on the market. Some of the books I have found usefuls are : - initial stage (attracting a prey) : How to make anyone fall in love with you, Leil Lowndes - courting stage: How to marry the man of your choice, Margaret Kent - trouble stage (caving, rubberbanding, uncertainity) Mars and Venus - special cases (marrying after 40, widow, divorced men etc.) Why men marry some women and not others, John Molloy - intimacy (yes, that means sex) Secrets about men every woman should know, Barbara DeAngelis.
Tony T Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Great relationship books come and go but relevant facts about the romantic heart remain as elusive as the wind over the ocean. What's true for one may not be true for another. You cannot ever get love right ny trying...as Kahlil Gibrah wrote in The Prophet, "And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course." If it's right, I don't think there's a need to bust your butt reading books. If it's wrong, no number of books or counsellors is going to make it good. The books you mentioned above are excellent...but they're part of an endless string of books on those subjects and there will be many more. I think writers who can't put good relationship books together author weight loss books...now there's another endless string of meaninglessness.
norajane Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Please share your thoughts on the relationship books on the market. Some of the books I have found usefuls are : - initial stage (attracting a prey) : How to make anyone fall in love with you, Leil Lowndes - courting stage: How to marry the man of your choice, Margaret Kent - trouble stage (caving, rubberbanding, uncertainity) Mars and Venus - special cases (marrying after 40, widow, divorced men etc.) Why men marry some women and not others, John Molloy - intimacy (yes, that means sex) Secrets about men every woman should know, Barbara DeAngelis. Curious...how have these books helped you?
Craig Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Jonathan Gray and Barbara DeAngelis are fakes. They picked up their doctorates from a diploma mill called Columbia Pacific University. CPU (LOL) was closed down by the California Attorney General for being a diploma mill. Gray reportedly picked up both his Bachelor's and Master's in Eastern Philosophy from the Maharishi European Research University in Switzerland. DeAngelis has been married at least 5 times. If I were to take advice from anyone it would be from someone that doesn't misrepresent their credentials. You can't technique someone into a fulfilling LTR and loving you forever and you can't technique yourself into a fulfilling LTR and loving them forever either.
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Gray reportedly picked up both his Bachelor's and Master's in Eastern Philosophy from the Maharishi European Research University in Switzerland. You don't need a degree to write a book. Gray pulled back the curtain on male feelings and reactions and allowed women to glimpse the mechanics behind. He did me (and all the men I dealt with since) a huge favour by doing that. I also am grateful to Nancy Friday for teaching me about man's inner sex lives. DeAngelis has been married at least 5 times.[\quote] DeAngelis might have been married a bunch of times; but who better to explain how not to make mistakes but someone who has made many? If I were to take advice from anyone it would be from someone that doesn't misrepresent their credentials.[\quote] In Shakespeare, the wisest words always came from the fools. You can't technique someone into a fulfilling LTR and loving you forever and you can't technique yourself into a fulfilling LTR and loving them forever either.[\quote] No but you can learn about how and why people do what they do, and that kind of wisdom is not only owned by a select few pedigreed humans who live and behave impeccably.
Arianna72 Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 At one point or another I have read all sorts of relationship books and the ones that aren't outright misleading I have found are usually so general that most people would be better off just writing there on thoughts down in a book. And yeah.. John Gray is a total fraud. I remembering reading him and thinking how great it all sounded at first but if you take a deeper look.... it is actually kind of disturbing. Not sure what the rules are about posting sites but if you want to learn more about "Dr" John Gray check out this site http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/
Brkn_Hrt_Bermuda Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I can tell you a very damaging book for a relationship. "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" My sister got this book for my GF at the time as a Christmas present. It all went downhill after that. 9 years down the tubes. It had been a great relationship. We had very few arguments and they were of no great consequence. We had only one fight and that was within the first year. We lived together. But after that book it all went to hell in 6 months.
a4a Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 At one point or another I have read all sorts of relationship books and the ones that aren't outright misleading I have found are usually so general that most people would be better off just writing there on thoughts down in a book. And yeah.. John Gray is a total fraud. I remembering reading him and thinking how great it all sounded at first but if you take a deeper look.... it is actually kind of disturbing. Not sure what the rules are about posting sites but if you want to learn more about "Dr" John Gray check out this site http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/ I just read a few tidbits on this and I got a little vomit in the back of my throat....... :lmao:
Craig Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 You don't need a degree to write a book.True enough but personal integrity does play a role in how seriously I take what anyone has to say. DeAngelis might have been married a bunch of times; but who better to explain how not to make mistakes but someone who has made many?DeAngelis is the publishing version of a 'puppy mill' spewing forth techniques that damage more than help in her 'profit centers' we call books, etc. People are not machines and you can not sustain a mutually satisfying relationship based upon techniques. In Shakespeare, the wisest words always came from the fools.Well that ends all discussion doesn't it? I'm sure that fools can say something wise sometimes but overall their information isn't worth anything. That's why they are called 'fools.' No but you can learn about how and why people do what they do, and that kind of wisdom is not only owned by a select few pedigreed humans who live and behave impeccably.The problem is that the people in question misrepresented themselves. They lied to the world about the validity of their credentials for the purpose of increasing the size of their bank accounts. So while they may have some valid information in their publications, everything they do is tainted and suspect.
buzzie2 Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 One that I am just working on right now is called TURN ON YOUR CABLIGHT- get your dream man in 6 months or less. It written by Nancy Slotnick there is also a website cablight.com. It's a really good book; it's way better than The Rules. It's actually a program that she created. She says you need to devote 15 hours a week for you search of a man. I am really enjoying it. Another book that I also enjoyed was called Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love them. This would be a great book for any women who was dating or married to an abusive man. Just my thoughts!
Guest Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 The problem is that the people in question misrepresented themselves. They lied to the world about the validity of their credentials for the purpose of increasing the size of their bank accounts. So while they may have some valid information in their publications, everything they do is tainted and suspect. That doesn't actually scan. I'd be more impressed if you critiqued the content of the books rather than the character of the writers.
norajane Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 I can tell you a very damaging book for a relationship. "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" My sister got this book for my GF at the time as a Christmas present. It all went downhill after that. 9 years down the tubes. It had been a great relationship. We had very few arguments and they were of no great consequence. We had only one fight and that was within the first year. We lived together. But after that book it all went to hell in 6 months. How can that be? If all was great for 9 years, how can reading a book on communication screw everything up so badly so quickly?
Brkn_Hrt_Bermuda Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 How can that be? If all was great for 9 years, how can reading a book on communication screw everything up so badly so quickly? Because she starting interjecting accusations and trying to apply things from the book tomour situation. She started asking questions that I did not know where they were coming from. I'm not totally sure, but she changed and things in our relationship really changed after that.
catgirl1927 Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 Those kinds of books can be so destructive to women, particularly The Rules. The message in that book was essentially that the only way you can "trap you a man" is to pretend to be something you aren't, and that playing games and lying and trickery was your only hope. Then you end up in a manipulative, miserable relationship. It might help you "catch" a man, but then you need a whole new set of guidelines for lying to keep him. It's such crap.
alphamale Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 most of these books are a waste of time and money. they don't work mainly because people read them and then don't follow thru or modify their behaviour. case in point....there are more "relationship" books on the market today than every before yet the divorce rate has either gone up or stayed the same. so basically we can infer the books don't work.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 3, 2006 Posted October 3, 2006 I think Barbara Deangelis's books dealing with relationship shouldn't be thought of as total garbage. I've learn alot about myself, people and especially men reading her books.I wouldn't use the excuse about barbara being married 5 times and her phd not being real cloud your mind "The real rules","Are you the one for me","Secrets about men every women should know are VERY good books. I have to be honest if you're a rules woman or man.Your not going to like barbara's book.Barbara's books are for certain type of women and men. I couldn't stand the book "the rules" by ellen fein.I thought that book was a seriuos joke.
alphamale Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 I think Barbara Deangelis's books dealing with relationship shouldn't be thought of as total garbage. all these relationship "gurus" want to do is sell books.
chill chic Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 Why Men Love B*tches & Why Men Marry B*tches It brings out the alphafemale in me...but in a good way
ShoeGirl Posted October 4, 2006 Posted October 4, 2006 I have read several books by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. They are Christian psychologists from Seattle, Les is a clinical psychologist and Leslie is a Marriage and Family therapist. I have also heard them talk at my school several times and they have good ideas. Thy have been married twenty something years and have 2 kids, they are really down to earth and are not really pushy. I am not sure what kind of books you are looking for but "Relationships" is a good general relationship book... there is also a workbook that goes with it that has some enlightening activities. If you are in a serious relationship or married "Saving your Marriage before it Starts" is a great book (there are also workbooks both mens and womens for this one too). Their website is realrelationships.com... look them up on Amazon or half.com. They have quite a few books that cover many different topics. Edit: "Love Talk" is a good book to help you understand how you communicate better... you can go through it on your own or with your SO. I have gone through this and taken the test on their website and it is really quite true.
Recommended Posts