moman Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Interesting situation I find myself in: I've been dating a nice girl for almost 8 weeks but we haven't yet been intimate. She has been playing a lot of mind games and that has reduced my interest level very quickly. Some of the things she does is tell me how much she misses me and wants to know if I miss her, tells me to dream of her at nights and stuff, and now she says she doesn't need a boyfriend at the moment kind of out of the blue. Alas, I do find myself slightly confused considering the wonderful kissing session we had a couple days ago. I think I found a basketcase. Furthermore, we email back and forth 5-6x a day sometimes and I think I'll just go N/C on her for a long time. NEXT......
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 How old is she? Honestly, it sounds like she wants YOU to be into her. As long as you play into her little game, she's gonna play around with you. One thing, it's not pre-planned or malcious, this is all about ego... So, just enjoy it, and get to know her, but shield your heart so you don't get hurt. And yeah, back off of her abit ... Let HER chase you.
Author moman Posted September 26, 2006 Author Posted September 26, 2006 She is 31. She mentioned she needs a "friend, not a boyfriend". So the question here is 1. what the hell does that mean, and 2. what should my response be? As I said she is cool but the games have really lowered my interest level to the level that I just kind of laughed when I read the message. OH well! It drives her nuts when I don't call/email/text her for a while. Plus earlier today she mentioned that she wants to take me to a place that I mentioned last week and is waiting until I'm available to go. So who the hell knows.... Proposed response: I'll tell her it's a good thing that i don't need a girlfriend and stop contacting her for a while. That will turn the tables and she will be the one wondering.
CrushedOrgans Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 it's not a game if she means it. sometimes saying "i'm not chasing you" means just that, not "i'm trying to be sneaky and desirable to make you want me." my friend just had to tell a guy this today. he still didn't get the point. then he asked for friends with benefits. then he asked if they could just sleep together. then he got mad and acted like a jerk. so while he may have thought she was playing a game, he was playing "let's pretend i don't hear what you're saying so i can keep making comments cause you still want me" while she wasn't. anyway, i am sure this girl isn't trying to hurt you. sometimes people don't know what they want even when they think they do, and even if she thought it was you in the beginning doesn't mean that her feelings stayed the same after giving it some thought. people don't typically tell you they don't like you, if they truly do, just to hurt your feelings or mess with you.
G.for.Girl Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Interesting situation I find myself in: I've been dating a nice girl for almost 8 weeks but we haven't yet been intimate. Judging from your first sentence, I feel that you are eager to get into her pants. At the age of 31, she probably can detect that as well and that's why she's playing mind games. She is interested in you, but she wants to change you into a long term potential rather than a fling. If you just want a fling, drop her, she wont take that. If you want a long term relationship, tell her directly that you wont force anything intimate with her in the next few months. Then she would stop playing games and be more comfortable around you. If you just go NC, this would confirm her suspicion about your motive.
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Quote: She mentioned she needs a "friend, not a boyfriend". So the question here is 1. what the hell does that mean, and 2. what should my response be? That she is independent and doesn't need a man in her life to be dependant upon. Possibly that she is looking for something deeper and more permanent than a boyfriend that might come and go rather than a friend who tends to stick around. Sounds like her telling you to dream about her is her way of being flirtatious. but the not wanting a boyfriend means that she doesn't want anything too serious right now. I think NC in this case is a little extreme. Why don't you just talk to her and tell her that your confused. Though it depends - if you're not interested or want more than she is offering then cut your losses but it sounds like you're both a bit confused about what you want so sit down and talk to her.
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