Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Hello- Well for the longest time I was going through this really low period, I don't hang out with friends and just kinda gave up on everything.. I mean I managed okay, I still go to work.. do things on my own.. I wasn't "depressed", but more like I was just gray.. apathetic. For years.. Then a few months back, just out of the blue I met someone. I wasn't totally attracted to her, but there was just something about her that I did like-- I knew she would like or love me, more than anyone I could find. Yet I was still so hesitant because, first off like I said I wasn't totally attracted to her.. but I guess I could have delt with that, but it was the fact that I really didn't feel I was into her and couldn't seem to have a conversation w/ her. So basically, she didn't exactly fulfill my dream desires I was looking for in a girl.. But then, with my situation, I felt like I didn't really have any other choice. The best thing I got out of this whole situation was that I wasn't feelin alone anymore.. and yeah I was out of the no sex rut now, and it was pretty good btw.. We'll I'll say.. it was probably the best I've had.. But now I just felt like, okay this can't go on forever. I know I wouldn't ever be 100% happy w/ her, and I'll proabably start getting irritated and grumpy.. and I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be one of those guys always mad.. being all quiet and just giving her that irritated look. So, I did something I've never done before.. I told her how I felt, and that we have to go our separate ways. I've never done this, in the past I always held on even tho I didn't like them. I was a coward, more afraid of being alone.. so I held on just cause of that. But this time, I felt like I gotta grow up, and this was the right thing to do. But now, I'm gettin afraid that I will be feeling lonely again.. and that I'll be kickin myself for letting her go. I don't know what's worse, the dreadful feeling of loneliness and hoplessness--or being stuck with someone I don't truely desire.. I guess I just want to hear if you think I did the right thing by lettin her go.. or was there a better option I had? What could I have done differently.. I tried telling her I wanted to slow down.. but she was already too into it.
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I think you made the kindest and most humane decision in behalf of this girl. Stringing her along as your contingency plan until someone better came along (only to end up resenting her for not being your first choice) would have been the coward's way to handle things. She'll move on and be just fine … but how about you?? Depression can manifest itself in many ways. Often, people who are clinically depressed don't even know they are depressed. If you're prone to bouts of moodiness, and a feeling of overall unhappiness (or apathy) without really knowing the cause … then chances are you're likely to look for reasons and perhaps blame whoever you're with for not being able to make you happy or sustain your feelings of contentment over an extended period of time. That will not bode well for relationships no matter who you're with. Have you ever considered looking into this with a professional?
Walk Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Hey... I think you made a very courageous and responsible decision. It's not an easy thing to do, breaking up with someone. I really think you did the right thing. Also, I agree with Enigma about looking into your "apathy" more fully. Have you talked to a doctor about this at all? Living in the frame of mind that all is hopeless is incredibly draining and joyless. I've been there.. and it sucks. Talk to a doctor about how your feeling and see if there's a medical reason for this depression. Or anything you can do to decrease the negative feelings some. Again.. I do feel you did the right thing regarding breaking up with the girl. It's encouraging to see someone grow and take responsibility for their life.
Guest Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 Thanks for the replies, I just hope I did do the right thing. It's just really hard now that it's back to square one-- I am pretty sure I understand myself well enough to know why I'm so apathetic. It's just something I gotta live with--therapy won't help, it's more of a choice I suppose.. Well, honestly I'm just getting this icky feelin that I'm gonna be back to a miserable place, and wanted some reassurance I did the right thing. Cause I need to know this misery I'll be facing wasn't for nothing..
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