MissJ Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Ok so long story short my boyfriend of 10 years broke up with me to "figure out" things about him, and for us to become better friends. I knew there was someone else, and sure enough. There was. His cell phone broke and I find out the NEW girl put him on her plan so he has a new phone on her plan and made up some story about how he hasnt gotten his phone fixed yet!!! WHATEVER. Now it comes down to the "things we had" I had a lot of his personal belongings so i boxed them all up and gave them back, telling him, I wasnt holding onto hope anymore and that i understood that him and I were done. Even though he STILL refuses to admit he sees this other girl and stays at her house etc. OK now it comes time for my items..... I give him a list and 2 weeks later he returns, 2 of the items. the 2 stupidest things, my fan and scale!!! WHat about the stuff I really paid some $$ for, the CDS MOVIES VICTORIA SECRET OUTFITS. Stuff I really want back. SO my question guys becomes...... SInce HES the one who broke it off with me, and is obviously moved on, and I gave him all his stuff so that I could be done with him, WHATS THE HOLD UP??? Why would he want to hang onto my stuff??? Because hes just not thinking about me and returning my things isnt important? Or because hes now holding on??? I DONT GET IT!!! Any ideas??
joriel Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Ok so long story short my boyfriend of 10 years broke up with me to "figure out" things about him, and for us to become better friends. You were right to think that there was someone else. SO's of 10 years don't break things off to become better friends. Yes, he is trying to hold on to you by holding on to your stuff. It doesn't sound like you want him back so my advice is simple, go get your stuff. Don't leave it to him to bring it to you. Arrange a time to meet and gather all of your belongings. I think the whole, I'm holding on to this and that but I broke up with you is ridiculous.
D-Lish Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 MissJ: My ex dumped me and then refused to return my keys or come pick up his stuff. It drove me mad. I think he is both "holding on" and feeling guilty- thereby avoiding a meeting. I agree with above poster- force the return of your stuff. It drove me up the wall that he didn't allow me to have the closure of getting our things sorted out. I had to finally force it. If he left for another woman- I would never want to get back with him either. After 10 years, you deserve better! D
Jane Doe Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Who cares about the stuff? You got rid of a cheater and a liar. Consider the loss of your things collateral damages and move on.
Rudy Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 I would have to say he is definitely holding on. Question is why? He may feel the two of you are going to get back together at some point....or he may be doing so just in case his new romance does not work out. Either way, I know things are not easy for you right now and it is just not right. Question for you ladies......what if the roles were reversed.....girl breaks up with guy. Guy returns girl's things. Girl says she will return guys things but has not. What does that mean????
superconductor Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Who cares about the stuff? You got rid of a cheater and a liar. Consider the loss of your things collateral damages and move on. I'm with Jane Doe on this one. CDs, lingerie, all that sort of stuff is just that: stuff. Easily replaceable. Consider it a small price to pay for being rid of the jerk.
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