Raylene Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 There has been a noticeable decline in sex with my s/o the past month, he has started leaving his cell in car on weekends, sometimes during the week, and often turning it off at night if he does bring it in. It appears he is deleting calls from recent call history. Three days ago he decided he needs to leave for work 20 minutes early each morning and breaks his neck to get out the door on time--this puts him at work 20 minutes earlier than anyone else. This morning I just noticed a new key on his keyring. While he was in the shower I tried it in my door (because it looks just like my house key, except it is shiny and new). It fit right in my lock, but won't open it. He was given a set of keys to the office trailor and storage and etc. at work a few weeks ago, yet he keeps them on a work key ring attached to his personal keyring. This new key is on his personal ring, so I am thinking are all house keys basically alike? I know I am being petty about that 20 minutes in the morning, but I'm just feeling out of sorts. I did make some mild comment about that and I have also mentioned the decline in sex, then outright asked him if he ws seeing someone else. He got very defensive and told me I am being crazy and paranoid and ruining our relationship to even bring it up. Oh yeah, and he has been critical as hell of me lately, although in all fairness he has always had a rather critical personality so this is not new, just worse,this morning even criticizing that I was wasting contact lense solution!!! Say WHAT???? Am I being overly suspicious?
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Get a record of his cellphone bill if possible. And the key? Well, it probably is work related, but if you're not sure, FOLLOW him one day! Instead of him showering you with love and affection, letting you know there's NO way he's cheating on you, instead he reacted quite harshly. That is abit of a red flag to me...And, he's picking fights with you?? Yeah, something is up, whether it be a physical affair or an emotional one. Talk to him and just make him understand that if he's unhappy with you and the relationship then you two need to sort it out. IF he denies that there's anything wrong, then YOU tell him you feel something isn't right, his energy has changed towards you and it has to be sorted out. Let him know also, that you won't put up with him cheating on you.
Author Raylene Posted September 25, 2006 Author Posted September 25, 2006 Than ks for the reply. One other thing that bothers me, and this has gone on for at least 6 months now, is that he no longer wants to kiss me other than a quick peck on the lips. Even during sex, it is rare that I get a "french kiss". If I am lucky enough to get one or two, if I try for more, he will literally slightly turn his head away. Nine times out of ten we have sex with NO kissing. And yes, I have tried discussing this in the past, but I still don't get kissed. And I LOVE to kiss.
SoCalCatman72 Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 I don't think that you are being overly suspicious, it sounds like all the signs are there, change in behavior, acting secretive, hypercritical, and lack of interest in sex are HUGE red flags. Keys, there are two basic key blanks that are used 98% of the time. Most residential locksets are keyed to a Kwikset (KW1) key. This key generally has a rounded 'head' and oftentimes has three triangular holes in the head. The other lockset, a Schlage is sometimes used for residential uses, especially in high end, luxury apartments, but more commonly used for office or industrial buildings, is thicker than a Kwikset, generally has a squared off head and is a bit longer than a Kwikset. I don't approve of snooping, but it may not be a bad idea to get a copy of the phone records.
LakesideDream Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 The 20 minutes early to work sparked my memory of 6 years ago. All of a sudden my ex W started coming home from work 20-30 minutes late every day. One day when I was sitting on our front pourch waiting to share a tea when she came home, I noticed a car parked a block down the street that looked just like hers. I grabbed my binoculars and looked.. ah it was her car, I couldn't see who was in it. Pretty soon she pulled into the driveway. She claimed she was listening to a song on the radio we both liked. I didn't push it. Two weeks later her purse "rang". I didn't know she had a cel phone. She claimed it was a "work phone" and she was "on call" (a bookkeeper). Less than a month later I got the speach "I need space", "I must find out if I can live on my own"... after 25 years of marriage. The rest went downhill from there.
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