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Female with commitment phobia

Jeepwranglrchick

By Jeepwranglrchick
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Jeepwranglrchick New Member

Jeepwranglrchick

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I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!!

 

Thank you,

Tammy

norajane Established Member

norajane

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When you start thinking up reasons why you should leave him, what do you come up with?

superconductor Established Member

superconductor

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This sounds very much like the "too-good-to-be-true" process, whereby your partner meets almost every one of your needs so you start looking for cracks in the armour.

 

It's also perfectly normal.

 

So relax, jeep, and enjoy the ride (so to speak).

rina_r Established Member

rina_r

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Yeah, just dont make any mistakes you will regret about later.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!!

there is nothing wrong with you. he is too nice and you are bored out of your skull... you need a bad boy and excitement.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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What is it that you're really scared of? Getting close to him, allowing him into your heart, letting your child get to know him even better and then have the relationship end? You can't let fears ruin your life, ofcourse IF that happens, it will hurt, but it won't kill ya.

 

Take things slow, communicate with him. If you feel things are moving along OK, then just go with the flow...If its' too serious, tell him!! Don't put the walls up because you're scared of the future.

 

You don't need a badboy! Not when you have a kid to think of. If you were single, then that would be a different story. Alpha you're being silly, man!

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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You don't need a badboy!

be quiet WWIU :lmao:

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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be quiet WWIU :lmao:

 

Make me! :laugh::p

SmoochieFace Established Member

SmoochieFace

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I met this guy a few months ago. I have been spending a lot of time with him. He is perfect. Sweet, honest, loves my kid, makes a lot of money (can easily support me and my son), loves animals, my friends and family like him, and I can't find anything wrong with him. But at the same time, I find myself trying to find reasons not to like him. I want him just to disappear at times. When I am with him things are great, but when I leave I start thinking up things of why I shouldn't be with him or I think maybe I just won't answer his phone calls anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me. We never fight, we have alot in common...help!!

 

Thank you,

Tammy

 

My advice to you is to let this man go so he can find someone who won't push him away like you're doing. Otherwise, you should do a thorough self-examination into why you have those feelings.

 

Be careful what you wish for - if he's smart and perceptive he will pick up on your uncertainty and he will leave. Mature guys don't have time for that wishy-washy stuff.

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Jeepwranglrchick New Member

Jeepwranglrchick

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When you start thinking up reasons why you should leave him, what do you come up with?

 

 

I come up with chicldish things, nothing that are of any importance to a relationship, like I pick apart somethings about the way he looks, but that's it.

 

I don't know I guess I am just being childish.

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Jeepwranglrchick New Member

Jeepwranglrchick

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My advice to you is to let this man go so he can find someone who won't push him away like you're doing. Otherwise, you should do a thorough self-examination into why you have those feelings.

 

Be careful what you wish for - if he's smart and perceptive he will pick up on your uncertainty and he will leave. Mature guys don't have time for that wishy-washy stuff.

 

 

I am doing nothing of the sort. I am not pushing him away, I act fine around him, its when I leave I start thinking about maybe I shouldn't be with him. Maybe I just think he is too good for me and he can do better. I don't know.

norajane Established Member

norajane

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I come up with chicldish things, nothing that are of any importance to a relationship, like I pick apart somethings about the way he looks, but that's it.

 

I don't know I guess I am just being childish.

 

Maybe it's your way of protecting yourself from getting hurt. If you leave first, he can't hurt you by leaving you. If you think of things to not like about him, it's your way of holding back your feelings for him so you don't get hurt if he leaves you.

 

Are you afraid he might not like you when he gets to know you better? Are you afraid of getting close to him? Google fear of intimacy and see of that rings any bells...

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