mlchris2 Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Well, alot has happened since I last posted. I've signed the papers and it now official. :0( I finally have this sense of relief with my EW and her new BF that "its really happening", cause she lied to everyone for months, but we all saw it going on. We all knew she was lying, we all just gave her the benefit of the doubt. I now realize that I was "cheated" on and that they are getting intimate, etc. I cant explain why it took me this long to feel this way. The old me would have gotten emotional and cried to get her back. I now realize she's making this decision she's gonna have to live with it, its her loss she's giving up on me and her-so-called family and there is nothing more that I can do to convince or show her the issues she felt we had that caused the D will always be there with everyother relationship, until she's willing to change, etc. I feel really bad, becuase she's lost all respect from those that knew the real her. She lost the respect of her family, she's blown them off entirely becuase they came to my aid when I needed it, becuase they felt like she was wrong in this case. They do love her, but they are dissappointed with her actions and the decisions she's making. I have never had a mom or a dad that was there for me like these people. I think of them as such. there seems to be some tension between us that is unspoken... I was thinking I have to make a decision to step out of their life so they might get their daughter back or I let the EW get over the fact that I think of them as my parents too. I've made great progress. I realize there is nothing more that I can do to get her to see that I really love her, she's choosing to live the life that she believes makes her happy and it wont be until she hits rock bottom that she them will realize what she had given up, what she had and just how stupid she was. If I'm around I'll decided what do to when I cross the bridge, but for now I'm living for myself and my kids. I dont doubt the next stage will be easy, but I've made that initial step. thanks to those who've been there for me in time of despair, provided good words of wisdom, etc. I'll be back later with status. Mark
amaysngrace Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 I was thinking I have to make a decision to step out of their life so they might get their daughter back I divorced his family when I divorced him. I heard somewhere that this was the right thing to do. Which made me sad somewhat, because some of them I love dearly. Of course, I got to divorce my exMIL, which makes up for all the pain of divorcing the others. I think you are seeing things pretty clearly. She has dug herself into a hole and that's where she is in life, while you come out of this smelling like a rose and it's a beautiful thing. I hope that you find your own happiness soon.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 she's choosing to live the life that she believes makes her happy and it wont be until she hits rock bottom that she them will realize what she had given up, Just because she's not with you doesn't mean she's going to hit rock bottom. Perhaps she is doing what makes her happy?? As a side note, yes, you do eventually need to back away from her parents, even though they have been supportive. A couple of reasons for this- She is their daughter and eventually they are going to get over this and welcome her back into the fold. and they will eventually welcome any man into their lives because that person is who makes her happy. This will hurt you like hell, and it will be good for you not to be around to see it. It will be okay to be nice to them for the rest of your life for the kids- but that doesn't mean talk to them all the time and socialize.
LakesideDream Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Pixie is right about this one. You need to move on from your Ex's family as well. It's fine to be cordial concerning children, other than that you will become a burden. Your Ex may never pay the price of F---ing you over. You need to come to grips with that as well. She may live "happily ever after". That's the way things are. Good Luck, you have made real progress. Congratulations.
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