orangele Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I am a middle-aged divorced male. I have been involved in a LDR with a beautiful 34 yr old woman. She did own a small clothes botique, which she sold. Since she sold her store, I have been 100% fiancially supporting her while she pursues further education. We just recently had an argument, and I have begun to reevaluate if we are right for one another. I was planning a day trip to Mexico (2 1/2 hrs drive) for lunch, some drinks, and shopping with two married woman that I have known and worked with for 7 years. I have never dated, or had any interest in either of these woman romantically. My GF is 10X better looking than either of these women. We are just working friends. We occassionally socialize (maybe once or twice a year). When I told my GF about this planned trip, she said that if I went on this trip, she would accept offers to socialize that she gets from numerous men. I told her this was silly, but if she did not want me to go, I would cancel my plans, which I did. After I thought about it, I thought her objection to my trip was ridiculous. After this incident, my GF had a fit that I did not call her one evening (she has asked that I call her every day because she cannot make LD calls out from her phone). I told her that I have to get up at 5:15AM every morning to work, and I fell asleep early and that is why I did not call her. I guess these two back to back incidents got to me, and I told her that I thought her objection to my trip was silly, and that if she wants to socialize with male or female friends that she has known for years, that she knows have no romantic interests, that is fine with me. Further, I told her that it is also very troubling to me that she would get so upset because I did not call her one evening. I said that if she gets upset so easily, or she does not trust me, then perhaps we are not compatible with one another, because there will be many evenings because of my work will I will not be able to call her. I think perhaps because my GF is quite attractive, she is used to getting her way with men, but I am getting tired of being a wuss, and I think it is time to put my foot down. I basically ended our conversation by saying that I was quite upset, and will not call her for awhile.
johan Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Most people here will agree that friendships between men and women are rarely harmless. Your girlfriend knows this, and so do you. Don't call her, if you honestly in your heart don't want to talk to her. Don't cut her off as a way to teach her a lesson. She should understand about the phone call. My opinion is that long distance relationships are just parodies of the real thing. A friend of mine dates a woman from Poland. He can't even freaking touch her for months on end! When he does it's because they made a huge production out of it and it cost him hundreds or thousands of dollars. How fulfilling. He chooses that for himself because it's easy and gets him off the hook from making the effort with a local girl.
Author orangele Posted September 24, 2006 Author Posted September 24, 2006 "Most people here will agree that friendships between men and women are rarely harmless. Your girlfriend knows this, and so do you." Thank you for your reply, but this statement really really really could hardly be more false. Believe me when I say that either of these two women (I have know each for over 7 years) would I in my wildest fantasies, ever be attracted to, and even if I were, they are both married, and not interested in me. They are simply friends from work. There is a married very attractive woman from work (known for one year) that has invited me on numerous occassions to socialize (just her and me), and I have declined. I think there is a clear and distinguisable difference between these two situations (possible mutual attractiveness, marriage status, length of aquaintance), that both I and my GF should be able to see.
pricillia Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 She is worried that you will find someone else and then you will not support her anymore. Don't let her use you like that... I think that your instinct is right, stick to your guns or marry her one of the two...
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