wil3ykoyot3 Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 My wife and I have been separated,3+ months, I am 49 she 51, married 9 years, together 13 years. I have never been violent and abusive to her and the same goes for her I will explain our separation later. She has been calling our Bi-male friend almost daily amounting to 3,300 minutes in one month alone(July 18-Aug.17), the equivalent of being on the phone with him for 8 hours a day for seven days. I am not bisexual and have never had or thought of a homosexual experience. Since I was paying her cell phone bill it came to me, that's how I found out about the time spent. The only reason I looked at the bill more carefully was because it was the 2nd month in a row that the bill was above what it should have been. After seeing the amount of time she was calling him, I asked her if she was having an EA. Neither of us are in the same city, she is 90 minutes away from him I am his 90 + another 90 he’s in the middle. She became very defensive and said they were just friends and that she needed to talk to some one that just made her laugh etc. The calls she made were at all hours of the day, none past 11:00 pm, the earliest about 6:30 am most from about 7:00-10:00 pm. I accepted her excuse and told her that. This past week,(Sept. 19) after not being able to get over that fact, also due to the fact that her calls to me were ended abruptly at her usual time to call him (phone bill), she always claimed that she was tired, I asked her how often she had seen him and if she had seen him recently, she answered twice and that I knew about them because that was the day that she came to pick up some of her stuff (Aug 12) once on her way here and the other time on her way back. By the way, she had told me that she had seen him only once , on her way back once before, she excused it by saying that she must have lumped the two into one. That day she said that she would be going to dinner at his house and leave to go to her apt. the following morning. after meeting his boyfriend (not cohabitating) (male). Well, today I went to pay on a credit card and I saw a charge dated Sept 22 at a men's store in his city (today is the 23d) well, red flags went up having spoken with her this morning telling me that she was going to the Lavanderia (laundromat) I know from visiting him a while ago now before our separation, we went there together, that he has a washer and dryer at his place. He is also not without the means to have replaced it if the old one died. I called her immediately and all I got was her voicemail, after waiting almost two hours for her to call back I decided to try her again, I received her voice mail again and well, because I had set up her voicemail account I decided to see if the old password worked, it did The first message (Aug 30) I heard was from him wondering why he had not heard from her and also wondering if I had possibly come down and had done something to her. Well, that really got my attention, I continued to listen, There were few messages from him just sweet caca ending with I love you or love you. Then there was a message (Sept. 16, Saturday) saying sweetie could you please bring me some Ibuprofen blah blah if not ok I’ll see you when I get home, That message was after I had asked her if she had seen him recently and she had said no only the afore mentioned time. There was one more message from the 19th saying something about getting tv cable set up (she doesn’t have it set up yet) of course ending with I love you everything will work out. I finally called his house and he picked up I asked him to get her he said who is this I said you know who, he hung up, well I called again and he passed the call on to her. I “politely” asked her what are you doing there bitch, and asked for an explanation, she said she used the card to buy him a tie for tonight because he had forgotten his wallet and that he gave her cash to reimburse her. She then proceeded to tell me that I was delusional about their relationship and that she was just there at the last minute to help him out because he was having some of his clients over for a small party she said that he called her Thur. 21 and that he needed tablecloths etc. She said that she didn’t mention it because it would upset me. I could hear that there was a “party” going on in the background. Again, I was delusional etc. I know that there are many fact that you all need to know, at this time I just want your feel about this. Thanks
bluechocolate Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I know that there are many fact that you all need to know, at this time I just want your feel about this. I don't really think that there are any more facts that I need to know. Your wife's relationship with this man is inappropriate - end of story. I'm a bit unsure of the timing of the separation - was it after these incidents? Whatever - I hope you're not paying for her phone bills any longer.
wil3ykoyot3 Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Bluechocolate: He's an old friend (was) I've known him for nearly twenty years, they met through me 13 years ago. When he would call our home he and I would talk mostly, she and him would talk too. This current situation began after our separation, about 20 or so days into it. I had to look at a past bill to guess at that. Yes I have stopped paying the phone bill, the last one I paid was a little over a month ago. I have also decided that as of last night (more about that later) I will no longer be paying HER credit cards, let's see how she can come up with @ $1,600 a month on her $12.00 per hour temp job. I know that he can't come up with it either.
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