loveinlife Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Once again, I am here looking for the best method for coping breakups/heartaches. I know there are multiple solutions and have been said many times, I hope this thread will be helpful to me and others who are dealing with our loses. Please give feedback. Any comment(s) contributed will be helpful. Thank You!
Art_Critic Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Ls..........So you are on the right track
magichands Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Don't kill yourself. (And not just because it can be messy to clean up afterwards.) And what Art said.
Jane Doe Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 1. No contact!! That's the cardinal rule. 2. Don't ask friends/family/coworkers how your ex is or what he/she has been up to. 3. Put away all reminders of the ex (i.e., pictures, books, gifts, etc.). 4. Don't google the ex or do any "detective work" at all. 5. Don't pop up in places where you know the ex will be. Alter your routines and routes if necessary. 6. Lean on family and friends for support. 7. Don't bring your troubles to work. Those who support you and listen today may very well be spreading your business tomorrow. 8. Get moving! Exercise, go to the mall, take a trip, visit an old friend, etc. 9. Occupy every spare moment of your day. Clean your home from top to bottom, wash and wax your car, go through your closet and rearrange things. Anything you can do to keep your mind focused will help. 10. Try something new. Take a class, join a group, volunteer, etc.
Cheshire Cat Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 - remember that time can do miracles - keep in mind that sooner or later you will feel better. - get interested - even slightly interested - in someone else. (easier said than done, I know) - try not to think about your ex - if your ex keeps popping into your thoughts, concentrate on what you didn't like about him/her. - associate with friends whose favourite pastime is picking people apart and ask them to pick your ex apart for you, or to help you doing it yourself.
Jane Doe Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I have another one that I forgot to mention. Get out a piece of paper and make two columns - - one side titled, "Pros" and one side titled, "Cons." Under each, make your list of pros and cons concering him and your relationship with him. Under the cons be sure to list every single thing he ever did to you that was disrespectful, thoughtless and downright mean. Remember all the times you felt unworthy, insecure, and worried due to his actions and list them all. Once you're done, compare the pros vs. the cons. I'd be willing to bet you'll have more cons. Post this next to your telephone, computer and any other communication device you have. Read it repeatedly until the urge to contact him subsides.
Teacher's Pet Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I did the "pros" and "cons" thing with my ex. It was really interesting when I sat back and read the list. The cons WAY outweighed the pros. Pros: Good cook, awesome in bed. Cons: EVERYTHING ELSE lol I would HATE to see her list about me..... Pros: Liked my cooking. Makes a good effort in bed. Cons: Lasting power of a Boston Red Sox division lead. A relationship is kind of like a business investment. Put the "numbers" down on paper to see if it's worth it. -tp bought Pokemon stock in 1998 for next to nothing.
Ariadne Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Hi, I am here looking for the best method for coping breakups/heartaches. Date someone else, it works marvels. Ariadne
Teacher's Pet Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 1. Exercise 2. Learn a new hobby. 3. Get a second job (fills your excess time, and makes you money!) 4. Make NEW FRIENDS! 5. Reconnect with old friends 6. LoveShack.org
Author loveinlife Posted September 24, 2006 Author Posted September 24, 2006 Thanks everyone! I don't know what to say. Whenever I need help and question about myself. You guys/girls are always there to help. I appreciate everything. I am so grateful to have found this site and meet you guy/girls. Much Love! I don't know what I'll do sometimes with my own problems, yet I have learned to help others, such as myself who are in need. Thanks! Loveinlife loves everyone here!
swirly27 Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Coping methods? Hmm, here are some of the things I did 2 yrs ago when going thru the worst breakup ever!!!! - started to travel more - went to see a therapist a couple times (didn't really help me though) - did some things for me that made me feel better - went skydiving!!!! THAT ROCKED!!! - had a yard sale - did major spring cleaning in every room of the house - did try online dating again and met a couple nice guys who I went on a date with, but it never went further - but still, met 2 nice guys - then when I needed to be by myself, I'd cry it out, talk to people who I could trust to vent, or act silly with friends and in time I slowly got over it - I also did meet someone on the online site that I dated for awhile but looking back now, he was a rebound - it helped me somewhat but caused other problems. ugh lol
funkify Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Hi, just bumping this thread. I having a really hard time getting over someone. Every song reminds me of him and I can't stop replaying happy times in my head. I've started reading to get my mind off him but even then in the back of my mind one of the songs that remind me of him will be playing in my head. I try to keep as busy as I can but every time I have a break, even to eat my thoughts revert back to him. It's especially worst at night when I trying to sleep, it's like a movie playing on repeat. How can I stop this?
Author loveinlife Posted November 2, 2006 Author Posted November 2, 2006 Funkify, I know what you mean. Although, its not songs on my end, they were road signs and places we've been to. If the songs play over and over in your head, its possible to find some new songs that you would like to listen. I've changed so much after my breakup. I changed to a different type of music, met new friends, changed jobs, met a cool girl, and my personality changed too, i became more sympathetic and learned to understand ppls feelings. Btw, how long have you guys been broken up?
Jane Doe Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 When you're getting over someone, the radio can be your worst enemy. Turn it off or switch to talk radio. Don't torture yourself.
ralph124c Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Don't drink coffee. It just adds to the anxiety feelings and edginess. Get distracted with friends as much as possible, and try not to exhaust them (and yourself) too much with your tales of woe. It just stays on your mind, and remains a big part of your emotional life that way. Talk about other stuff, because there's a whole world out there. Have a beer or a glass of wine with friends, sure -- it does make things look and feel better for the moment -- but don't drink too much alcohol because it can make you depressed, interfere with sleep, lead to dependence etc. So avoid drinking alone and resist the urge to deal with your pain with drugs or drink. Go away on a trip and see some of that big world to get some perspective on the whole thing (preferably something active, an adventure holiday or something so you don't sit around and brood in your hotel room and have to interact and participate with other people). Whether you meet someone or not, you'll see a lot you'd like to meet which is a good reminder that the ex isn't the only fish in the sea! If you're creative, consider giving it a break. It's really easy to channel all your bad emotional energy into your music, writing, art or whatever, which can be therapeutic, but can also lead to obsessive dwelling and brooding.... After a while, try to de-sensitise yourself to things, places, music that morbidly remind you of your ex. Re-claim them for yourself! Nothing pisses me off more than not being able to listen to a great song because of of the associations it has! Even the town I live in and the surroundings sometimes seem full of ex-related significance -- you have to get over that, and the only way to is to make new associations, or focus on pre-ex ones. Do things you liked before you knew your ex. Get back in touch with yourself, and who you are apart from the ex. You've always been there -- she/he hasn't! They can't take who you are deep down away from you. Things from childhood are good. Read some comics or watch cartoons! Rediscover a hobby or get in touch with long-lost friends. Life is a journey, and a failed relationship is just a wrong turn. You learn that's not the right way to go, so you turn around and get back on the right road.... Too bad the detour was so rocky and wrecked the car a little, but life goes on! Hope I can listen to myself and all the rest of you now!
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