ellandroader Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Does anyone ever feel like they are on a losing run? I just seem to have this losing mentality right now, and it is hindering my social life big-time. Let me add a bit more...in a nutshell I moved to the US from England in 2004. I had acquired a job at Epcot, beating off a lot of competition at home to land one of the positions. At this time, I was on top of the world, looking forward to starting my new life abroad and brimming with confidence. Then roll on a few months...I am diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I get treatment for it twice a week. Having panic attacks, feeling withdrawn from everything and everyone I struggle to get involved. I finish my year then end up emigrating here permanently with my immediate family. Roll on another 2 years, still fighting off feelings of insecurity, the various symptons of SAD and an innate lack of confidence. I seem to screw up every social aspect of my life and cruel things keep happening. For example, I have been taken advantage of as captain on my last two soccer teams, and also led astray by women or left for someone better. Friendships fizzle out quickly as I dont think I have enough to say or in common. It is difficult as if no-one understands me. (I guess my background is way different to most people I meet) I have been here for 2.5 years and whereas it has its obvious benefits (I consider myself very lucky), it feels like my spirit is being crushed. I am a shadow of the guy I was before I left home and whereas I can put up a tough front, deep down it hurts. The thing is, I don't want to leave and just give up (it is an option) but I can't stand spending my nights in on my own anymore or waiting for calls that will never come. I sort of miss having those close friends around and especially wish I could find a girlfriend. In these instances, I just seem to get involved with the wrong people and due to my "nice" nature, I come off a lot worse. I get told I am a "great guy" by close friends and the like but I feel like I don't know what to do. It's frustrating because I know I'm capable of being much more, if given the chance. Can anyone else relate to this? Sorry, it's a bit disjointed but it is late here and I am somewhat tired. Cheers Dan
superconductor Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I glanced at your post very quickly, and for a moment I thought you had got a job as an Escort... Anyway, what you're feeling is perfectly normal and natural. Reason being that many - not all - American girls have this whole entitlement thing going on, whereas girls from the UK or Europe tend not to have it to such a degree, at least in my experience. And, naturally, because you were raised in a place that had more of a sense of history and of itself, that's missing in the US and it's hard to get used to. Does this make any sense? I'm a bit blotto right now..
Author ellandroader Posted September 23, 2006 Author Posted September 23, 2006 I glanced at your post very quickly, and for a moment I thought you had got a job as an Escort... :laugh: That made me chuckle...thanks. I'm told it (confidence problem) is normal, it still sucks though. I really want things to work and I am being hindered by factors of which some aren't even of my fault. The disorder set me back big time. It does make sense though what you said...thanks for the response.
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