owcanbhppy Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 very true. its not broken, it doesnt need to be fixed.
magichands Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 very true. its not broken, it doesnt need to be fixed. I'm happy to hear that you are getting what you want out of life. Honestly. But remember that it's not all about us.
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I know that everyone is trying to help but we are in love. I would be saying the same things as you ladies. I trust him 100%. I know that everything he tells me is the truth. Do you know how many OW have said the same thing, "but my situation IS different, he really does love me and never has sex with his wife, I know because he told me so..." All I can say is, you're fooling yourself. IF he truely was head over heels in love with you, he'd leave his wife and child already. Keep that in mind. Fact is, he hasn't and he won't. You're so caught up in the lust/attraction, and I'm sure you're inlove with him, but I doubt he is with you. HE obviously has feelings for you, but not the ones you want it to be - Not enough to end his marriage. I am sorry that you're in this situation and until you open your eyes abit, TALK to your family, friend about this MM and your affair with him then maybe you'll see that you're making the biggest mistake of your life.
FlyingHigh Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Do you know how many OW have said the same thing, "but my situation IS different, he really does love me and never has sex with his wife, I know because he told me so..." All I can say is, you're fooling yourself. IF he truely was head over heels in love with you, he'd leave his wife and child already. Keep that in mind. Fact is, he hasn't and he won't. You're so caught up in the lust/attraction, and I'm sure you're inlove with him, but I doubt he is with you. HE obviously has feelings for you, but not the ones you want it to be - Not enough to end his marriage. I am sorry that you're in this situation and until you open your eyes abit, TALK to your family, friend about this MM and your affair with him then maybe you'll see that you're making the biggest mistake of your life. Completely agree with you WWIP. But I think we're wasting our time with this one... One more thing....when I called my XHTB's OW the day after D-day to find out if she were pregnant. After she said "no, here's the talk: OW: I understand what you're going through because my husband of ten years also cheated on me... Me: Then why in God's name would you turn around and cheat with another woman's husband? OW: But it's not the same. We're different. I trust him 100%. Need I say more...
GreenEyedLady Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I don't know MH, that's a good question...I only know in my personal situation that I was the one who was tricked... It seems like "an out" that some cheaters would take... But I think that a couple who is truly meeting each other's needs, cheating wouldn't even be a second thought...
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 But I think that a couple who is truly meeting each other's needs, cheating wouldn't even be a second thought... Unless one person is just extremely selfish and possibly a narcisisst! Just look at Jonesygirl's threads in the infidelity section.
GreenEyedLady Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Well, that is probably a signal to get a DIVORCE!!!
Island Girl Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 I know that everyone says this but, we are a very different. You are not different. You are convincincing yourself that it is but it isn't. Chocolate chip cookies are chocolate chip cookies - it doesn't matter what the package looks like. You are going to have an affair with a married man. You've made up your mind it is plain to see. Saying your circumstances is classic that this is where you are headed. Hell bent on a path of self-destruction. We aren't idiots or misinformed. We all know where you are headed and some here have emotional scars from what you are getting ready to do. I am the type of person who needs it to be black and white. I cant stand the gray area. Apparently it has to be more than black and white. Because everything written here is clear - written in black ink on white background. What is it that you need? WHAT IS GOING TO REACH YOU --- oh yeah. Nothing. You have already made your mind up to your own detriment. I have not knowingly entered into an affair with a married man. I have friends that have. I watched it happen telling them exactly what everyone is telling you here - only perhaps not so clearly because I thought I was being their friend and saying it softly so not to hurt them. In the end I wish -- and so do they (after the almost unbearable anguish they suffered) --- that I had been more loud and clear so I am trying to do that here. It isn't working obviously. I trust and believe him 100%. I know that last comment will get a lot of reactions, but it is true. He is a man that cheats on and lies to his wife. The person he pledged to face all adversity with. The person he has created a family with. The person he has spent building a relationship for how long with? But he is honest with you. RIGHT! Because you are soooooooooo miraculous and special. The only thing special about you is just being young and niave enough to fall for his crap. He is a liar and a cheater. He is horny enough to want you and coniving enough to convince you it is love. Give me a break. Love is not a spark of attraction. It is built over time through weathering bad times more than the good - the good times are easy. I am not stupid, I am for staying with him, You yourself say you are stupid for staying with him. Stupid is as stupid does. Even Forest Gump got that right. So if you do stupid things, especially KNOWING that they are stupid, what are you? but I love him. He loves me. I do know that they do not sleep together. I do know that they don't have a connection like we do. I know that they both love their child, but that is the only reason they are together. You are there with them. In their bed, in their house, in their discussions? You have had a conversation with his wife? -- She told you? Because that is the only way you would KNOW. You don't KNOW. That is complete crap. You are just believing a lying cheater. At least own up to that. You can put your head in the sand as much as you want. We all know what is going on. You are like a child looking at a hot burner -- you tell the kid it is hot. You explain, it'll burn you. It is hot. But they reach out and touch it anyway, and they are shocked it burned them. Believe me -- this is gonna BURN. It'll be a festering wound for a LONG time. IF you can get it to heal. It'll leave a big ugly scar. I have tried the NC. I couldn't leave. So you know it is the right thing to do. Well then, enlist the help of others if you must to get you busy and keep you busy and occupied until you are strong enough to stand on your own. Tell him it is over - NC or you will pursue stalking charges and there will be public documentation of the nature of his contact with you. --- I'll just bet the first threat of it being public he drops you like a bad habit. But oh yeah he loves you - don't be dillusional.
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 Maybe your relationship will work out like mine did, maybe not. You should remember 2 things: 1.) Don't give him so much that he feels like it's not worth the chase. 2.) Don't chase him. If he's not man enough to leave her for you, then you'll have to be strong enough to walk away; otherwise you risk getting dragged through the mud.
NoIDidn't Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 Maybe your relationship will work out like mine did, maybe not. You should remember 2 things: 1.) Don't give him so much that he feels like it's not worth the chase. 2.) Don't chase him. If he's not man enough to leave her for you, then you'll have to be strong enough to walk away; otherwise you risk getting dragged through the mud. This is true regardless of the situation. Especially number one. Stop spending the night at his place. Be unavailable. Try setting a schedule of when you will see him and see if he starts scheduling in others on the nights you aren't there. Workaholics are not committed to any relationships. They are committed to their own sense of self-worth that they derive from working so much.
outofdarkness Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 This is true regardless of the situation. Especially number one. Stop spending the night at his place. Be unavailable. Try setting a schedule of when you will see him and see if he starts scheduling in others on the nights you aren't there. Workaholics are not committed to any relationships. They are committed to their own sense of self-worth that they derive from working so much. I'm sure my H's mistresses now wish they had a dime for every time my H told one of the that his W never gave him sex...They would be very wealthy women...It's just a given...They ALL say that...There is ALWAYS a bunch of whining and crying...A's are purely selfish on the MM's part...It's not about the OW..It's about the OW pleasing the MM
Guest Posted October 1, 2006 Posted October 1, 2006 I know that everyone says this but, we are a very different. I trust and believe him 100%. I love him. He loves me. I do know that they do not sleep together. I do know that they don't have a connection like we do. I know that they both love their child, but that is the only reason they are together. You believe what you want to believe
Author MustBeLove Posted November 24, 2006 Author Posted November 24, 2006 I wanted to let everyone know that things are wonderful with my MM. We are very happy. I know that everyone has their own opinions with everything and they are just trying to help. I know that I can not be with out him. We will work it out and have a wonderful life.
whichwayisup Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 As long as you know what you're up against and can accept your role of being the OW for a long time, then all the best. Just know that you're settling for table scraps, letting a selfish man have two women in his life because he's too afraid to either end it with his wife so can he can be with you, or end it with you so he can fix his marriage. I hope one day you realize that you've wasted time with another woman's husband. One day you might regret this and look back wishing you had ended it and found a single man you could start a life with, create children together and build upon that...instead, you're settling. Good luck.
pureinheart Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 IF you were seeing a Guy who WASN'T married but he WAS sleeping over at another Womans house, having sex with another Woman and taking another Woman out would you feel okay with that? Wow Merin.....excellent point!
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 We will work it out and have a wonderful life. Well, let us know when that divorce is final.
db1018 Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I just want to say as the women who was cheated on, that no matter what is said or done you know he is married with children and you should be ashamed of yourself. As women we should stick together and not work against eash other. And let me add that the man is just as much at fault.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I just want to say as the women who was cheated on, that no matter what is said or done you know he is married with children and you should be ashamed of yourself. As women we should stick together and not work against eash other. And let me add that the man is just as much at fault. You assume alot here...not every MM represents himself as such and not all of them have children...
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