Guest Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 This guy I've been seeing for over a year, has recently moved back home (about 4 hrs away) for certain family reasons. We had a great relationship, but I'm kinda ashamed that I didn't really show him my true self, such as not being so superficial trying to impress him. Well while I was busy trying to impress him, he got a preconcievd notion that I might be "too good" for him & his family. My family and his are different in regards to money. Mine are more well off than his, mine live in a much bigger city than his too. When we were last together (the day that he moved 9/08) he asked me a question about my parents' money, then quickly said that his parents didn't have much, maybe to see what kind of reaction I would give him. All I told was that if they were happy than nothing else matters. But he kept on saying stuff like, you dress nice, you drive a nice car, which I took as compliments, but I thought, great maybe he thinks he can't compete with "my" money or if I ever met his parents that I'd stick up my nose or something. Which I would NEVER do, I like people for who they are, not what they have. Right then I wanted to reveal something to him that's been on my mind for awhile, but so many things were going through my head, so I didn't get a chance to tell him. But I wanted to tell him that I've been holding on to this "image" that people expect me to have, which is my "model" look. I modeled when I was 13, and ever since then I've been into fashion, so when people saw me they'd always compliment me or look at me in a way that I felt was "me". Even to this day, some of my friends say comments about how I am & used to be, always a fashionable model type. I modeled here and there since I was 13 but last March my old agent contacted me to see if I wanted to model again, & sign a contract which would mean I'd eat & breathe modeling. Well I told her no because there are much more important things in life than starving yourself or trying to appease people by the way you look. I told him that I was supposed to sign a contract, but I didn't go into detail about it. The thing of it was, I always felt connected to him because he used to play minor league baseball, & occasionally would be called up to the majors to replace a player. He ended up retiring baseball because he didn't get a full contract with a major league team. But when we were together he had a hard time opening up to me, even about his family, until the last day we saw each other. I really feel like we started to connect, except that I neglected to tell him what I've been dealing with, my self-image. When I don't have my "guard" up, I am the most down to earth, humble, fun loving girl anyone could meet. I just want him to know or see that because I believe it could make a difference in our relationship and eventually make it even closer. The problem is that he's 4 hours away now, and if I can't see him in person anytime soon, then I want to tell him somehow before it's too late. I've been wanting to give him his space so he gets situated, so I'm not sure when the best time would be, but probably soon. Which is the best way? By calling him, or emailing him? Which would be more comfortable for both of us? Another question...am I too late to be honest with him? Like I said, I believe he's worried about the money part because of him & his parents, but I want him to know that money doesn't make people happy, people make you happy, and he makes me happy. I want him to believe me even though I might have "put on" this persona of myself by holding on too modeling. Please help I need the best solution to this problem so I can make things work between us.
fishtaco Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 To me this has more to do with his problem than yours. He may be the kind of guy that needs to be the "bread winner" of the relationship. So maybe he won't be okay that you are more wealthy than him. A lot of times when things go down, we think somehow we screwed up, we're not good enough. But really very often it's the other person's problem. Your "true self" may not be the issue here. Even if you can work everything out, he's still 4 hours away. Long distance relationships are not easy to maintain.
Recommended Posts