G.for.Girl Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Do guys lead girls that they aren't interested (totally or partially) on? I mean normal guys, not jerks. The problem that I am having is that I am not sure whether this guy is actually interested in me or whether he is just leading me on for his own ego boast. He keeps hinting to me about dates but never really asks. This has been going for half a year now. I mean, if he is not interested, why would he be leading me on for so long. But then, why the hell is he not asking me out. What is happening? Any thoughts welcome.
Sally00 Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I really wish I knew the answer to this. Many guys have led me on in the past as well. I'll never know why they just played games and were never direct with me. They didn't know what they really wanted and just dragged me along with them. So I don't have an answer. Sorry... I just thought I'd let you know that you weren't the only one.
Moai Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I thinnk that he is trying to see what your answer would be before he risks getting rejected. Why don't you ask him out, if you are interested?
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Is he actually available ? or is he already in a relationship ?
Rooster_DAR Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I thinnk that he is trying to see what your answer would be before he risks getting rejected. Why don't you ask him out, if you are interested? I would actually agree with this as well. I have a girl I have the hots for big time, and this is a very similar situation.
G.for.Girl Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I have been trying to ask him out, but about half the time he refused and half the time he said yes. Same as for phone calls, half the time he answered, and the other half he didn't. This 50:50 thing is killing me. Ahhhhhh. Do guys do that as a mindgame or he's just not that into me? That's why I thought he is just leading me on. The weird thing is that he tries very hard to show me that he is not with any girl at the moment. Is he doing this to tell me to 'chase him' or is he a skilled playboy? 50:50 does kill.
dgiirl Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Difficult to say. What is your reaction when he's hinting? Are you showing him interest or are you staying aloof? If you are showing him interest, and it's been 6 months he still hasnt asked you out, then I'd personally move on. I wouldnt even bother wondering why he's not asking you out. Maybe there's slight chemistry but not enough to risk the friendship. In which case, it's probably not enough chemistry to have a relationship in the first place. If you are being aloof, then well, you're playing games. If you are interested, then ask him out!
Adunaphel Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Do guys lead girls that they aren't interested (totally or partially) on? I mean normal guys, not jerks. Yes, it happens. The line between nice guys and jerks can be very fine at times. I have been trying to ask him out, but about half the time he refused and half the time he said yes. So you've already had actual dates? Or he'd just say yes and forget about it/make up excuses? I'd have some serious talk with him and ask him if he is interested or just leading you on, not allowing him to weasel out of the question. The fact that my favourite hobby is backing people into coners probably partly explains why I'm still single. But at least I get to save some of my time.
G.for.Girl Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I do agree that a jerk and a nice guy its a fine line and any guy has the potential to be either. Can someone interpret the below scenerio and tell me Is he a jerk having fun refusing me? or is he a nice guy just trying to comfort me? It seems that he only wants to chat online with me after I have phoned him for a date and consequently got refused by him with the I am busy with work reason. He would then log online right after the phone call and messenger with me and chat casually about nothing for a short while. Then I wont hear from him for days to weeks. So I phone him again and the whole cycle repeats.
Adunaphel Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Sorry, but he sounds like he is not romantically interested in you and just trying to be polite. He does not usually start chatting with you, flirting with you, texting you, leading you on in any other way than not telling you clearly he's not interested? Edited: I just noticed that the post was directed at guys. I'm a gal, sorry, didn't pay attention.
stoopid_guy Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Is he doing this to tell me to 'chase him' or is he a skilled playboy? Or is he just plain stupid? I can understand a guy being partially interested, liking your look but undecided about your personality, but that shouldn't last six months. Ignore him, forget about him (socially, anyway.) He's either playing mind games or he's very insecure. In either case, he needs to mature a bit before he'd make a good boyfriend.
G.for.Girl Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Or is he just plain stupid? I can understand a guy being partially interested, liking your look but undecided about your personality, but that shouldn't last six months. QUOTE] Exactly, I mean anyone over the age of 25 wouuld be pretty much able to tell whether they like someone's personality or not even after six minutes. I really do believe that first impression is our best gut instinct. And gut instinct is always true and real. I think we both have passed the attraction stage of evaluating the other's potential. Now come the tricky bit (the most tricky bit) of getting the relationship rolling.
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