RyTom21 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I am currently a 22 year old virgin, and I'm a little embarassed about it. My brother, however, has had sex several times. Since then, I've noticed a change in his behavior. I hear him talking about whomever he is dating at the time, and he doesn't seem to care about her at all, he just wants to know when he will get to have sex with her. He thinks he is some kind of stud/ sex god. Here is my worry: I am one of the nicest, sweetest guys you will ever meet. I love and respect women. when i am in a relationship, I treat my girlfriend like a princess. When I have sex for the first time, am I going to turn into a sex obsessed jerk like my brother and most other guys in the world?. I guess what i'm asking is, can sex change the kind of person you are? I really dont want to turn into a jerk. I like being a nice guy.
superconductor Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Sex is like money, in a sense. More of it makes you more of what you really are. You have nothing to worry about. By the way, how old is your brother?
ellandroader Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Hi there (Tom i presume?) Without divulging too much into things, I'm a little older than you but have not gotten that far yet either, and I am sure there are many other guys in the same boat. Don't single yourself out at all, plus you seem like a good fella so don't allow yourself to compete with your brother. We're all different. I think that it can change you, though in yours/our case it may not necessarily affect you badly. I think if you're a young guy who has had a lot of fun in that respect, it will naturally build your confidence. That is the biggest way I think it will change a guy. Young heads are naive and somewhat immature by nature so your brother probably takes it as a given and also probably has a decent esteem level. If he was in the same boat, only 10 years older it may not go to his head as much, as you would be more mature then. But with peer pressure the way it is and the way society at times appears to think that sex is a dealbreaker in growing up, he probably has that 'edge' to him now. It'll settle, give it time. Of course, his confidence with women is likely to show more, and some women will appreciate his sex drive. But I also think there are a lot of girls out there who won't think anything of it. They'll see your finer points as a person (you're a nice guy, right?) and that you do respect women too. I personally don't think it counts for much - the girl I am dating now knows I haven't been at my most intimate yet but she doesn't care. In fact, I think it put her mind at peace a little, because she has been out with some bad guys who just want her to "put out". She sees that i view it as a serious thing and respects it. So it's really about waiting for the right one I guess. Hope that made some sense, I am not the most articulate at getting my point across!
Fun2BMe Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Sex is like money, in a sense. More of it makes you more of what you really are. I don't get what that means. If you have little money then more, how does it make you more of what you are? Some people are depressed and have difficult lives. They could turn happy and more fulfilled with money so I don't understand what you mean.
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I am one of the nicest, sweetest guys you will ever meet. I love and respect women. when i am in a relationship, I treat my girlfriend like a princess. When I have sex for the first time, am I going to turn into a sex obsessed jerk like my brother and most other guys in the world?. I guess what i'm asking is, can sex change the kind of person you are? No, if you are caring and have an open heart, having sex with a gal isn't going to change you in a bad way. You are NOT like your brother, that's obvious and you also seem like the type of guy who is going to wait for the right girl to come along and not just jump into the sack with whomever. Sex probably is "just" sex to him and he doesn't look at it as a way of connecting with someone. I can tell you do just by how you present yourself.
Fun2BMe Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 No, if you are caring and have an open heart, having sex with a gal isn't going to change you in a bad way. You are NOT like your brother, that's obvious and you also seem like the type of guy who is going to wait for the right girl to come along and not just jump into the sack with whomever. Sex probably is "just" sex to him and he doesn't look at it as a way of connecting with someone. I can tell you do just by how you present yourself. In reality sex does change a lot of people. My brother used to be very sweet and treat women with so much respect. Once he became sexually active, he started seeing them as only sex objects. He broke up with the nicest girl in the world because she wasn't ready to have sex right off the bat. So seeing how your brother is, keep in mind who you are now and don't let sex get to your head and start controlling you as it sadly does to many men and women.
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I really dont want to turn into a jerk. I like being a nice guy. Because of this, you don't have to worry. You are different from your brother and he's chosen to be a jerk!
moman Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Yes it is very possible for sex to change your whole outlook on women. I was 21 when I first lost it but until then I hadn't had many meaningful relationships. Women saw me as a "nice guy" too much and I just got tired of it. I can certainly understand your brothers' attitude, especially if he was frustrated about being labeled a nice guy. The best advice is wait until the absolute perfect moment. I did and will never regret it. Heck, I don't current know many virgins so it's not like the old days anymore.
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Yes sex can change some people.I'm a virgin and i hate being around a virgin who just lost their virginity because most ex-virgin act like an a** after having sex. Ellandroader and Rytom21 their are virgin support group online.
G.for.Girl Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Yes, it definitely change you, and change your life. For both girls and boys. But I do highly recommend it if you have the chance, just dont push it too hard (hmm... not literally). The change is like having your first job, having your first girlfriend, or having an overseas trip. Its hard to describe. But remember that most ppl would get addicted to it for a while, a year or two maybe. Especially at your age when hormone is running wild. On the other hand, a prolonged absentine from sex (a few years) dodx change a person as well.
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