TheLoveBelow Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I'm sorry if this is ridiculously long,but any input is much appreciated.... I've known my ex for around 3 years.She used to be best friends with my younger sister.We've always liked each other,but we never acted on our feelings because my brother liked her. But in June,we all went to the movies to see Superman.When i saw her,those old feelings came back to me,so I asked for her # and we started talking,and eventually dating.We spent just about every waking moment either on the phone with each other, or together during the summer. When i told my brother about it,he was completely opposed to it and was angry with me. We recently decided on a mutual break up because my brother and sister had a problem with us dating and my brother had recently cried telling me about how bad he felt. We had planned to break up for a while, and get back together when the storm had cleared and my brother was over it.We also said we would talk to each other just about everyday and we wouldn't lose touch. A few days later,my brother comes to me and tells me he's fine with everything and that he had talked to her and gotten all his feelings out of the way. I call her and let her know what had happened,and she tells me that there are other reasons why we shouldn't get back together right now.She says that my brother and sister made her feel bad and that really mad her sad and cry.ON TOP OF THAT,she says she's extremely busy,since its her senior year of high school.I try,with no success,to convince her we could make this work,but she feels she needs to focus on these very important things right now(SATs,college applications,musical,tutoring sessions,etc.).She basically says,if its meant to be,it'll happen. She said she used to think about me all the time and feel like she had to call me,and that it messed with her head.She likes where we're at because she doesn't have to feel that way now. I feel VERY insecure,and I told her about it.I told her that if she doesn't want to be with me,she needs to tell me and that I would try to move on.I tell her i'm willing to wait for her if that's what she wants.I ask her if she wants to be with anyone else,she says no,and I say,neither do I. So we agreed on that,and I felt much better. But now,a week after that convo,i feel insecure again.I'm worried that she's just trying to ease me out of her life,and that worry is partly based on a past relationship where an ex gave me the run around only to hurt me. When we talk,I feel great,but when we get off the phone,I start to wonder if she's just trying to back away from things gently, without hurting me.I've noticed that she hasn't called me unless I had called her earlier in the day.WHen I don't call first,I don't receive a call from her that day. QUestions: Should I not call her,just to see if she'd pick up the phone and call? Should I be telling her when I feel this way?I want to call her and tell her all these things I'm worrying about... Does it sound like this is headed anywhere good? I don't want to make any sudden decisions without knowing how she feels.What if I decide to completely take her off of my mind and she REALLY did want to be with me when she could. SORRY for the rambling...
joriel Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I'm no expert or anything but I think that NC would apply here. Give yourself some time to think about your questions. Give her some time to let everything marinate. Stop calling her. When she wants to talk, she'll call.
Author TheLoveBelow Posted September 22, 2006 Author Posted September 22, 2006 thanks for the input...i guess my ex was right...if its meant to be...it'll happen. If she doesn't call or doesn't show me she cares...then she doesn't care as much as I thought she did and we're not meant to be together.
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