flickster42490 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Hey guys, I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl who is extremely devout in catholiscm. Now, I used to be atheist, but I'm starting to believe that something might exist up there. However, I'm still not sure if this whole religion difference can hurt the relationship in a big way or a small way...I don' t know. She's extremely devout, which makes the LDR situation easier, because I know for sure she ain't going to cheat on me anytime soon. . But anyways, what do you guys think? Can it work?
Cheshire Cat Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 It can work if you are both capable to respect each other's beliefs (or lack of). Catholics, in my experience, cheat just as much as atheists. If you are sure she's not going to cheat on you, it's not because you have a catholic girlfriend, it's because you have a good girlfriend and you trust her.
Guest Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 It can work if you are both capable to respect each other's beliefs (or lack of).QUOTE] I totally agree with this...im a christain and my bf doesnt believe in any part of religion. But it works because we have full respect for each other. Another important thing is that we both know we're not gonna change each other. Thats another thing that you BOTH have to realise. Ask her how she feels about your different religions and make sure she knows that you may never believe in religion. I'd suggest you read up a little about catholics so theres no accidental insulting and so you can support her in her relgion. For example understand she goes to mass and confession and generally with religion comes strict rules about how far you can go before marriage. Make sure you know exactly where she stands in this so things don't get out of control when you see each other and respect and support her decision. Although the difference in religion can get more complicated as you date for longer (for example if you end up getting married) but the key is to just talk about it and make sure you both know were you stand at all times.
Icarus01 Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 Haha, that sounds oddly familiar. I used to be a devout Catholic. I was in a relationship with an agnostic English girl for three years, half of which were long distance with her living in England and myself living here in the states. We were together for three long healthy years in which I was pretty faith strong. It worked out fine for us really. Our relationship did end eventually, but religion had nothing to do with it. It can work out fine, it just takes equal understanding from both of you.
Guest Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 As others have said, it can work, as long as you both respect each other's beliefs. If your partner isn't going to put any pressure on you to change your religion to be with her, then don't worry about it. However, you have to talk about it. I went out with a Jewish man for a year before it became a huge problem that I wasn't Jewish and it broke us up eventually. So make sure you have the talk.
JamesM Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 If she is a devout catholic...and no, I am not...from what I have seen, the only way it will work out in the long run is if you become catholic. This will become more apparent if you decide marriage and children.
quankanne Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 the only way it will work out in the long run is if you become catholic. This will become more apparent if you decide marriage and children. not true, actually. The Church doesn't demand that your non-Catholic spouse convert, just that you both agree to raise any children you have together in the faith. It's usually the family involvement and the exposure to Catholicism that draws a non-Catholic into conversion because he/she is living the life and just wants to make it "official." At least this has been my experience/observation. the only way a relationship will work, period, is if the two people involved are willing to work on their commitment to it and each other.
LaughMachine Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 Your agnostic which means you don't deny god existence but you don't practice religion. blah blah Good your with someone with some differences. Thats a good thing about relationships..You always meet someone who can show you a new way to life.
Woggle Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 It depends how fanatical she is about it. Does she try to preach to you or anything like that?
db75 Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 This was one of the major factors in why me and my most recent ex parted ways. I have alot of faith and I believe in God. However I'm not someone who accepts Jesus as having been the son of God. I don't deny that he existed and think he was an incredibly good man and very passoinate about his faith. However for my ex, who is a baptist this wasn't good enough. About a year ago she gave me an ultimatum. "Start going to church with me, share this with me, or we should break up." Looking back, I should've walked right then. However, because I loved her and valued our relationship, I decided to meet her half way and go with her a couple Sunday's a month. I went in with an open mind. I met alot of very nice people there and it wasn't a negative experience, however she still wanted more participation from me. This is where in my mind the relationship had become unbalanced, she was basically asking me to comprimise my beleifs which just isn't fair. There's alot of reasons why we broke up, but religion was a biggie. I look at it like this. I believe in God and have faith in God, however who am I to try to define God. We as human beings cannot comprehend what God is and were we to be shown exactly what God is our primitive little primate heads would simply pop and turn into a red smear on the wall. I see your major religions as an attempt to define God, which in my opinion is just a flawed way of thinking to begin with. If it works for some, great, I'll never down someone for that if it has a positive affect on there life, but there are some that just take the whole thing too far. Anyway, good luck with that.
JamesM Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 the only way it will work out in the long run is if you become catholic. This will become more apparent if you decide marriage and children. not true, actually. The Church doesn't demand that your non-Catholic spouse convert, just that you both agree to raise any children you have together in the faith. I agree..I stated it wrong. But for someone who does not believe the catholic faith, this can be a real stickler....which unfortunately doesn't get realized until the children are born.
quankanne Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 True. But I've seen instances where because one member had a strong faith, his/her partner felt comfortable about letting their child be raised in that faith. Not sure how well it worked out though!
basscatcher Posted September 27, 2006 Posted September 27, 2006 I broke off a fun, good, affectionate, happy, interesting, facinating relationship with a guy because I am Catholic and he is athiest. I knew in my heart that; eventually, I would want him with me at mass, I would want him to study and learn the faith. I would want him to believe and share my faith with me. I am NO angel in any regards. I don't follow all the teachings of the church but they are a strong part of my morals and values. Regarless, I knew he and I would have issues later and no matter how much we fell in love we would both hurt if he didn't swing my way and I didn't accept him as is. It was best to end it and It really wasnt easy for either of us. He still called me wanting to see me and I wanted to see him but being older and wiser I kept saying no. I missed him like crazy and I was curious as to what I would have discovered and learned from him. He is now with another woman younger then I. Closer to his age and he is very happy. She is agnostic. He is very happy. I am happy for him. I know in my heart he and I would have both been hurt... He was even raised Catholic and chose against it when he was about 14. I didn't want to fight that battle.. Good luck.
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