should you be worried of what others think?

[twkvfx]

should you be worried/concerned of what others, your friends, people you know, might think of you? that you think or you know you're in a situation in terms of your relationship between you and the person(s) being un-extended no matter what their age, how old and young they are.

[superconductor]

It pretty much depends on the context.

 

If you're applying for a job, for instance, then it matters a great deal what the interviewer thinks of you. If you're interested in a partner, then it matters then too.

 

As for friends, that's a little different. Firstly, nobody lives in isolation (except the odd hermit) so we all deal with other people on an everyday basis. If you go about your life without any thought as to how your actions might impact other people, you probably won't get very far.

 

So you have to balance your personal integrity with the realities of social conduct. Sometimes that's easier said than done.

 

Mind you, when it comes to telemarketers or salespeople, I'm quite happy for them to think that I'm a jerk.

[quankanne]

like SC says, I want my employer and my coworker to see me as a good, dependable worker whose expertise they trust and someone they enjoy hanging out with.

 

I want my dad to see me as his reliable child even when I'm bugging him; I want my husband to take notice of my unwavering loyalty, my "kids" the same – as well as think I'm a "safe adult" to confide in when need be.

 

I hope those folks I consider friends find me loyal and dependable and enjoyable, the way I do them.

 

I want to be approachable to the stranger in the store when he or she has a question, or be allowed to hold someone's baby in public while they need use of their hands.

 

but those people who I see acting stuck up or snotty just because they feel they're better than me can kiss my *ss – they're not worth making a good impression on. This I figured out in college, when I stopped trying so hard to be the people-pleasing good girl.

 

in fact, this is the best thing about aging, IMHO!

[twkvfx]

so basically inbetween the comments you shouldn't worry about how your friends see you as, and if that so then change yourself.

 

if the situation gets serious or gets annoying, worse, etc every time, moment then surely you have to do something about it right? like change the way you are for the good of others, your friends, people you know and care about, etc.

[twkvfx]

anyone have any other comments?

[filiasan]

I think you should be a little concerned. People tend to put too much emphasis on first impressions. I'm particularly vulnerable to this, as I have some disorders that make me, well, odd. And because people don't understand me, they'll be quick to label me as rude. I have to put forth a little effort to be more "pleasing". But I think others should, as well. Our society has gotten to the point where people are so individualistic that they are just inconsiderate. I don't think you should be WORRIED about it. Concern is a little bit different from worry. I'm learning the harsh truth that my indie ways have a negative effect on my social life.

[LaughMachine]

I hate to admit it but I have a big problem with constantly worrying about what others think just because it puts me in a low mood causing me to have a new view of my self. When the truth is, no you shoulden't worry about what other people think. Perception is not reality and its amazing how much you actually DON'T know about a person. I agree with some of the previous posts about people make a big issue of " first impressions " when first impressions are NOTHING compared to getting to know a person in time. First impressions can be important for work and all that crap...but not for actually knowing someone. If you have a first impressions of someone being mean than you will most likely think their mean. But thats not true at all because you only have the crumbs of the truth, you don't have the exact truth. If your universally hated than you should care.

 

If people get the right impression of me when I'm in the " Right " light I come off as not even close to girly, very crazy and kind of gross haha. But if I am not in the right light peoples perceptions of me are stuck up quiet and alot of other things. I wish people would think more about crap but chances are people are gonna think what they want to think. But its all good because they as well have others who think shiz niz about them. I look at it like this...if you haven't known me for 15 years or more than you really truely do not know me.

[alphamale]

First impressions can be important for work and all that crap...but not for actually knowing someone.

If I get a bad 1st impression then i'm usually not interested in getting to know them better. There have been some rare exceptions, however.

[LaughMachine]

yeah but thats if you see them once and never really see them again except online or aim or whatever. But if you work with people and get a first impression of someone as being shy or quiet....thats not usually how people tend to be after a while ...so First impressions need to be flushed down the toilet..

[nancyleeh]

The guage I try to use is this, am I following a good standard of conduct, remaining true to my self, my desires needs and wants without unduly harming others.

 

nancyleeh