KrisMuseumGirl Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Is there anyone out there that is with both and happy with the situation? I can see it very possible. I see H totally engrossed in job. Kids happy with a beautiful home, vacations expensive clothes and lots of affection and at the same time a MM on the side that is there when you're feeling weak and need someone to talk to, give great advice, be your best friend and an insatiable lover that draws all your inhibitions out. Is there anyone out there like that? Was I the only?
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Sorry to be harsh, but that is the exact example of having your cake and eating it too. What a life.....Husband, a house, kids, life goes on as normal, things are wonderful - AND you have a lover on the side. Would you feel the same way if you and your husband talked about this and he was allowed to have someone on the side too? So both of you could live a lie and have your cake, eat it too?
Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Yes, it's possible. In fact with people of "means" like it sound like you are - it's probable. People with money can "jet-set" and live the highlife. They can buy expensive gifts and pay for expensive dinners. Look at "the Donald". It's definetly possible. You just have to decide if that's what makes you happy. I mean REALLY happy. Some people are adrenaline junkies with cash and can't get enough excitement - and who knows? They're wife is home "making time" with the pool boy - so who's to say? Only you can. But life goes on, we get more sensible. We look at our mates and say "the best thing in the world is right here - why was I looking else where?" and that is where most of these people discover - provided they haven't been caught and their lives totally devasted don't forget that either! You have to always be realistic about all sides - I hope you are.
Joelle Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 I'm going to play devil's advocate for just a moment. Truthfully, I can see that situation working for some, but not for all.
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 OFcourse it can work, the question is, for how long? How long before someone finds out, tells your husband or your husband finds out on his own. Just be prepared for ALL the consquences of your actions from your affair. Own up to it if you get caught, don't lie to your husband if he accuses you of cheating. Another thing, think of the effect this will have on your kids, if they find out too. Never say never......
blind_otter Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Yeah sure, anything can work temporarily. But things that work out in the longterm usually require some effort, and overcoming obstacles and hardship. That's what life is about. Not strolling through reality on a sweet smelling spring breeze. IME it's difficult enough to create an even playing field for two people, much less 3 or more. It's just that there are too many unknowns, in this equation, to really ever know for sure. The unknowns, are factors you cannot control -- the other people involved in the relationship, and their primary relationships as well. And the children. It always shocks me to see parents who seem to have no clue how perceptive their own children are. Or those who are unaware that their children make a conscious effort, often, to hide their unhappiness to keep their parents happy. This tends to happen more when the parents indulge in self-injury, with things like infidelity or drug addiction (which IMO are very similar issues, from what I've read and seen) -- the children will become more adult, in certain areas where emotion and relationships are involved, in order to compensate for their parents inability to be mature.
JackJack Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Is there anyone out there that is with both and happy with the situation? I can see it very possible. I see H totally engrossed in job. Kids happy with a beautiful home, vacations expensive clothes and lots of affection and at the same time a MM on the side that is there when you're feeling weak and need someone to talk to, give great advice, be your best friend and an insatiable lover that draws all your inhibitions out. Is there anyone out there like that? Was I the only? Just remember, all that glitters isn't gold.
lizad Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Kris...... One question, are you happy all the time? I hate to say that there is always one person in the affair that wants more..... What is his marriage like? How long are you two together?? I understand your WHOLE situation and can relate....... Does it ever mess you up emotionally? When he needs to be with his family and you need him and he puts them infront of you, do you get angry??? Sorry for all the questions, just wondering
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