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Open Letter To The OW Who Was In My Marriage


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Posted

I was just informed that the ow my h was seeing is being released from jail next week. Since there is to be NC between her and I and she and my H, I can't let her know what I'm feeling, but need to get this out of my system, so I'm posting it here.

Ms.?

I debated long and hard before writing this letter.

There are some things I feel that you should know should you even think about contacting my h or I when you are released from jail.

I hope the time you spent in there made you think long and hard about your affair with my husband and I hope you realize that had you of left him alone when we decided to work things out between us, that you wouldn't have been jailed in the first place.

When you were seeing my husband last summer, for me, it was alot like being in jail myself. But it was a jail that was made up with steel bars of deception created by you and my h. For a very long time, I was kept in my own cell and fed bits and pieces of the truth, just enough to keep me alive. To say the least, I was malnourished and starving for the truth, a truth that I begged both of you to tell me. He not only gaslighted me but in seeing all of those emails between the two of you, he was really gaslighting you in many ways worse than he was gaslighting me. What I want to know from you, is why you kept on believeing the things he told you about me? I know from reading the emails that he told you that he was going to get rid of me so that the two of you could be together, did you not see the truth when he never once left me? Do you know that if I'd of been told the truth, I would have left right then and there? Instead you hung around for months, and here I was still married to him and you only getting the lies from him. He lied to both of us. And what of you? Your husband and your kids? I hope the sexual satisfaction you got from my H was enough to pay for the consequences of what you did to your own kids and husband. I wonder what it will be like for you when you are released, because even though I've never spoken to your H, I'm sure he now has a pretty good idea of what you did and why you went to jail.

Your kids deserve better than you. You are unstable. Your H deserves better too, and I know that I deserved better than what you dished out so coldly and cruelly. Now you are paying the price of infidelity. I hope it hurts you three times worse than it hurt me.

So tell me, how did it feel when my H told you it was over that he loved me and wanted me and our marriage to work? Did it tear you apart? I hope it did and I hope it makes you think twice as hard when you get out.

For months now, H and I have been in MC. It is helping but it is going to take years for me to fully trust him again. Years for us to rebuild what was once ours. You had no right to him. You knew he was married and you were married and still yet you continued to pursue him. Even when he told you he wanted nothing else to do with you! Then you had the nerve (or stupidity) to attack me and try to destroy my personal property. Let what happened to you be a warning!!!

When you try to take what is rightfully someone else's you also need to be ready to accept what happens when you get caught!

I'm not saying this is 100% your fault, part of the blame lies with my H too. But when he told you no more you should have listened and tried working on your marriage and your kids. Instead you kept on pushing until we had to do something about it. What has it gotten you? You'll be pleased to know that my car is now repaired, my marriage is being repaired and is growing stronger each day.

When you get out, I suggest you never try contacting us or try any stupid crap like what you did that landed you in jail in the first place.

Do not contact us ever again!!! The restraining orders still hold, and you will be locked up again if you try to come between us, and this time I hope you won't be getting out.

H wants nothing to do with you, he made a mistake, he admits how wrong he was. You meant nothing to him, he was using you and he is sorry for that. I no longer work the long hours that I used to when he started the A with you, we spend those hours now talking or spending quality time together, he no longer has eyes for anyone other than me, the wife who loved him enough to work things out and try to understand and muddle through the heartbreak that he and you perpetuated.I truly hope you have learned your lesson. Bottom line: Stay away from us, or go back to jail. Sincerely, The Wife

Posted

How are you feeling, now that you've written it out?

 

It's good and I really hope that she stays away. Obviously if she doesn't, she'll end up in jail again.

 

Can I ask - Has her husband even contacted you two about this? He MUST know wtf she did and why she ended up in jail, right?

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Posted

He hasn't contacted us. I'm sure he's concerned about the restraining order and is trying to deal with what is going on in his life with that...._______! Yeah, I figure he's got to know by now. If he ever does contact us, we will be honest with him, even h says that he has a right to know. Honestly I don't know what all he knows about the situation, I'm sure she made it look like it wasn't her fault. How am I feeling now? Hmm...lots of mixed emotions where she is concerned. Expecting her to start stuff again when she gets out, but hoping she will leave us alone and has figured out that it is really over where she is concerned. Still feeling lots of rage toward her. I figure nc is the best right now where she and I are concerned. We are getting ready to move away. Not because of her or what happened totally, just wanting a fresh start away from the point of negativity.

Posted

Well, let's hope she stays away. You two moving is a good idea, start fresh and leave the past behind.

 

I feel bad for her children and husband. And abit for her, I mean she obviously is messed up in the head, let her emotions get the best of her. Just shows how deeply she fell for your husband...Though, it was HER choice to act the way she did, even though she wasn't thinking clearly.

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