otherlover Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 hi everyone- I havent been around lately to talk but i thought i would give you guys an update on my MM situation. I will just fill you in...I have been with my mm for awhile...i work with him and he is older than me. He had fallen out of love with his wife of 10 years and has been unhappy for 2 years. Things started off basically just about sex we had been friends for a while but we both were lonely and needed some lovin. We didnt have sex right about we just mostly played. I knew that after awhile our playing to me turned a little more emotional. I started to have deeper feelings for him. We finally had sex like 4 months into our relationship. Eventually our friends with benefits turned into passionate love. we both felt it pretty much from the begining but the more time we spent together the more we fell in love. Unfortunatly as we all the more you fall in love...the harder it is to think of him with his wife and being with her after you. Now they didnt have sex and if they did it was like once every 2 months. He pretty much stopped doing anything with her but he told me he wasnt ready to leave he couldnt do it. I honestly didnt know how much longer i could hold on. I was such an emotional reck I was so madly inlove wiht a man that i thought i would never truly be with. to make a long story short..he finally had enough wiht her and told her it was over...of course she played helpless wife and said she was blind sided and this must be coming out of the blue she never thought anything was wrong..im sorry but how do you not notice that your husband is more distant than the house across the street? Thne immediatly she accussed him of having an affair. anyway she asked him to go to counseling..which he agreed to go to..oh by the way i told him if he went to counseling and decided to work it out with her i told him i was leaving. well things actually went in his favor and he wasnt picked apart by a counselor and was told he was a bad boy and shut up. They have been seperated for about 4 months now and are on the road to divorce. One night she drove by his apartment and saw my car so now their divorce is based on adultry and all that. No matter what he says to her she thinks they only reason he left was for another woman but we all know that the situations we get in are because the other person is not getting what they want or need from their marriage. You dont know what goes on until your in the situation. it takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to make it fail. she just hasnt learned it yet. Its a long hard rd down the line but so far im ok and we are more in love than ever. Im happy i stuck it out even tho it hurt a lot of the time....i knew that he loved me and if he told me we were gunna be together in the end i believed him. Sometimes there reallly are happy endings here
PoshPrincess Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Congratulations Other Lover! SO pleased for you. It's really nice to hear of a happy ending. It gives us all (false?) hope! Good that there are unhappily married men out there who have balls and the courage of their convictions!
scaredinlove Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 hi everyone- I havent been around lately to talk but i thought i would give you guys an update on my MM situation. I will just fill you in...I have been with my mm for awhile...i work with him and he is older than me. He had fallen out of love with his wife of 10 years and has been unhappy for 2 years. Things started off basically just about sex we had been friends for a while but we both were lonely and needed some lovin. We didnt have sex right about we just mostly played. I knew that after awhile our playing to me turned a little more emotional. I started to have deeper feelings for him. We finally had sex like 4 months into our relationship. Eventually our friends with benefits turned into passionate love. we both felt it pretty much from the begining but the more time we spent together the more we fell in love. Unfortunatly as we all the more you fall in love...the harder it is to think of him with his wife and being with her after you. Now they didnt have sex and if they did it was like once every 2 months. He pretty much stopped doing anything with her but he told me he wasnt ready to leave he couldnt do it. I honestly didnt know how much longer i could hold on. I was such an emotional reck I was so madly inlove wiht a man that i thought i would never truly be with. to make a long story short..he finally had enough wiht her and told her it was over...of course she played helpless wife and said she was blind sided and this must be coming out of the blue she never thought anything was wrong..im sorry but how do you not notice that your husband is more distant than the house across the street? Thne immediatly she accussed him of having an affair. anyway she asked him to go to counseling..which he agreed to go to..oh by the way i told him if he went to counseling and decided to work it out with her i told him i was leaving. well things actually went in his favor and he wasnt picked apart by a counselor and was told he was a bad boy and shut up. They have been seperated for about 4 months now and are on the road to divorce. One night she drove by his apartment and saw my car so now their divorce is based on adultry and all that. No matter what he says to her she thinks they only reason he left was for another woman but we all know that the situations we get in are because the other person is not getting what they want or need from their marriage. You dont know what goes on until your in the situation. it takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to make it fail. she just hasnt learned it yet. Its a long hard rd down the line but so far im ok and we are more in love than ever. Im happy i stuck it out even tho it hurt a lot of the time....i knew that he loved me and if he told me we were gunna be together in the end i believed him. Sometimes there reallly are happy endings here I am happy for you and a little jealous too , I wished my MM loved me enough to be that brave.Good luck and happiness for both of you.
PoshPrincess Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 I am happy for you and a little jealous too , I wished my MM loved me enough to be that brave.Good luck and happiness for both of you. Jealousy doesn't begin to describe it!!!! My friend is in v early stages of A with an almost MM and I get jealous as hell everytime she tells me the things he has said to her and the things they do together. That was me this time last year! Still, I fear for her as she could end up in the same position I am in. She knows that as she has been through it all with me! I don't suppose if anyone had warned me I would've listened either.
Autumns Genevieve Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Happy, happy news. Very happy for you. Times like these, I don't know that I really think affairs are so bad..the lying, of course, is hideous, but when someone is exiting a relationship for another, and they just happen to overlap, then it seems worth it. Less like an affair, more like just a new relationship. I dunno know, though. Obviously my view is somewhat skewed, since I was involved with someone for so long...so it's possible that I'm just screwed up. I still think it's good news, and I'm happy for you both. Hopefully, you will be able to start a new life together without the ex hanging over your heads.
stillhere Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 My god, this is my situation, almost to a T!!!! My MM is debating on leaving or staying, but his m was not all that unhappy, or so he originally thought. Who knows, i could be the one, some day, doing the happy dance!!! I'm happy for you, the best of luck.
Meaplus3 Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 hi everyone- I havent been around lately to talk but i thought i would give you guys an update on my MM situation. I will just fill you in...I have been with my mm for awhile...i work with him and he is older than me. He had fallen out of love with his wife of 10 years and has been unhappy for 2 years. Things started off basically just about sex we had been friends for a while but we both were lonely and needed some lovin. We didnt have sex right about we just mostly played. I knew that after awhile our playing to me turned a little more emotional. I started to have deeper feelings for him. We finally had sex like 4 months into our relationship. Eventually our friends with benefits turned into passionate love. we both felt it pretty much from the begining but the more time we spent together the more we fell in love. Unfortunatly as we all the more you fall in love...the harder it is to think of him with his wife and being with her after you. Now they didnt have sex and if they did it was like once every 2 months. He pretty much stopped doing anything with her but he told me he wasnt ready to leave he couldnt do it. I honestly didnt know how much longer i could hold on. I was such an emotional reck I was so madly inlove wiht a man that i thought i would never truly be with. to make a long story short..he finally had enough wiht her and told her it was over...of course she played helpless wife and said she was blind sided and this must be coming out of the blue she never thought anything was wrong..im sorry but how do you not notice that your husband is more distant than the house across the street? Thne immediatly she accussed him of having an affair. anyway she asked him to go to counseling..which he agreed to go to..oh by the way i told him if he went to counseling and decided to work it out with her i told him i was leaving. well things actually went in his favor and he wasnt picked apart by a counselor and was told he was a bad boy and shut up. They have been seperated for about 4 months now and are on the road to divorce. One night she drove by his apartment and saw my car so now their divorce is based on adultry and all that. No matter what he says to her she thinks they only reason he left was for another woman but we all know that the situations we get in are because the other person is not getting what they want or need from their marriage. You dont know what goes on until your in the situation. it takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to make it fail. she just hasnt learned it yet. Its a long hard rd down the line but so far im ok and we are more in love than ever. Im happy i stuck it out even tho it hurt a lot of the time....i knew that he loved me and if he told me we were gunna be together in the end i believed him. Sometimes there reallly are happy endings here Oh congrats to you!!, :) although:eek: I probably should not have read this, LOL! I only wish my situation could turn out this way. If you don't mind me asking, how long into your affair did it take for you two to have sex? Was he resistant at first?
Guest Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Thne immediatly she accussed him of having an affair. anyway she asked him to go to counseling..which he agreed to go to..oh by the way i told him if he went to counseling and decided to work it out with her i told him i was leaving. well things actually went in his favor and he wasnt picked apart by a counselor and was told he was a bad boy and shut up. They have been seperated for about 4 months now and are on the road to divorce. One night she drove by his apartment and saw my car so now their divorce is based on adultry and all that. No matter what he says to her she thinks they only reason he left was for another woman but we all know that the situations we get in are because the other person is not getting what they want or need from their marriage. Its not the end yet. According to what you wrote here, he didn't even have the decency to tell her he was with someone else. You don't deny the truth. She had to find out about you by driving by his place. He may be a decent guy to a degree, but I hope you are guarding your heart. He couldn't even admit to a woman he wanted to leave, that he was seeing someone else. I am not trying to knock you or make you feel bad, but its not really a happy ending when its at someone else's expense.
NoIDidn't Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Thne immediatly she accussed him of having an affair. anyway she asked him to go to counseling..which he agreed to go to..oh by the way i told him if he went to counseling and decided to work it out with her i told him i was leaving. well things actually went in his favor and he wasnt picked apart by a counselor and was told he was a bad boy and shut up. They have been seperated for about 4 months now and are on the road to divorce. One night she drove by his apartment and saw my car so now their divorce is based on adultry and all that. No matter what he says to her she thinks they only reason he left was for another woman but we all know that the situations we get in are because the other person is not getting what they want or need from their marriage. I saw that you posted that you were only 18 and this guy is 35 in January. Wow! Not that I have anything against you, but you are so young and your life hasn't even gotten started yet. I hope you don't regret this one day. And it is not over yet. Far from it. This guy is a conflict avoider. He couldn't even tell his W that he was having an A when she asked him directly. Good luck.
lovelorcet Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 18.... Oh man... You really may live to regret this and this is far from over. You really need to be careful and to make sure this is what you really want.
PoshPrincess Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Jeez, I didn't realise you were 18 either. I don't mean to sound patronising but you are very young to be throwing yourself into something so serious, especially with all the repercussions of being the OW. Make sure you know what you're getting into and please be aware that your MM could just be swept away by all the flattery of having a young, attractive woman on his arm. I am sure he thinks he means what he says but I have a friend whose MM left the W to be with her and after only 24 hours of living with my friend and emotional blackmail from the W (using the kids to get at him) he went home. He quit the company that both him and my friend worked for and she never saw him again. All she got was a voicemail at work telling her what he had done. On the up side, I have a cousin who, at 16, became pregnant by the MM she was having an A with (he was quite a lot older and - the classic story - she was babysitter to his kid) and married him at 17. We all thought it wouldn't last, especially as she had four kids by the time she was 24, but nearly 30 years later they are still happily married. And she ended up as step-mum to a girl less then ten years older than herself! God, this sounds like I know lots of 'immoral' women, doesn't it? Guess affairs with MMs are a lot more common than we thought, as I have realised since first logging onto this site!
FlyingHigh Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Jeez, I didn't realise you were 18 either. I don't mean to sound patronising but you are very young to be throwing yourself into something so serious, especially with all the repercussions of being the OW. Make sure you know what you're getting into and please be aware that your MM could just be swept away by all the flattery of having a young, attractive woman on his arm. I am sure he thinks he means what he says but I have a friend whose MM left the W to be with her and after only 24 hours of living with my friend and emotional blackmail from the W (using the kids to get at him) he went home. He quit the company that both him and my friend worked for and she never saw him again. All she got was a voicemail at work telling her what he had done. On the up side, I have a cousin who, at 16, became pregnant by the MM she was having an A with (he was quite a lot older and - the classic story - she was babysitter to his kid) and married him at 17. We all thought it wouldn't last, especially as she had four kids by the time she was 24, but nearly 30 years later they are still happily married. And she ended up as step-mum to a girl less then ten years older than herself! God, this sounds like I know lots of 'immoral' women, doesn't it? Guess affairs with MMs are a lot more common than we thought, as I have realised since first logging onto this site! Woody Allen is the poster boy these guys.
FlyingHigh Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Jeez, I didn't realise you were 18 either. I don't mean to sound patronising but you are very young to be throwing yourself into something so serious, especially with all the repercussions of being the OW. On the up side, I have a cousin who, at 16, became pregnant by the MM she was having an A with (he was quite a lot older and - the classic story - she was babysitter to his kid) and married him at 17. We all thought it wouldn't last, especially as she had four kids by the time she was 24, but nearly 30 years later they are still happily married. And she ended up as step-mum to a girl less then ten years older than herself! God, this sounds like I know lots of 'immoral' women, doesn't it? Guess affairs with MMs are a lot more common than we thought, as I have realised since first logging onto this site! Yeah, and Woody Allen is the poster boy for these guys.
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