Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 hi im new here i was passing through these sites and found this forum so i thought i would check it out. i've been hangin out with this girl i know for about a few years know. we talk everyday and recently i have been thinking about her alot!! we both talk and laugh and we sometimes stare at each others eyes when we feel a connection. the thing is is that im very shy and had no idea how to ask her out and tell her how i feel. she kept giving me clues and hints, so i knew she liked me, but im really shy. then i've had these dreams where i was with her and i finally asked her out. i was then able to finally know the RIGHT words to say to her........the next day i heard talk about her new boyfriend she hooked up with on our high schools homecoming. the day when i found out was the worst day of my life and all i could think about was her and it sucks how life hits you when you finally know what to say but you're too late........i still want to know if she still likes me or if shes through because i took so long..........i have no idea how to deal with this..........if anybody can give me any advice on how to deal with this or maybe how to capture her heart even better would help. thank you for taking the time to read this.
Island Girl Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 You could take the chance and let her know that, although she has a boyfriend, you truly care for her. That you want to be her boyfriend and see where the relationship takes you. IF you do this you have to be very clear you are not going to be the other man. She would have to break up with the current boyfriend to date you. Otherwise you would prefer just being friends. You don't have to declare your undying love. Just let her know you are interested in pursuing a relationship. But you are shy. So you may not be able to do that. You could wait it out. Most relationships don't last. It might not be very long until you get your chance while she is single. Just keep in mind if you wait it could turn into the scene from The Graduate or you are waiting to see if they are the 50% of married couples that get divorced to make your move. You are the only one who has to live with the outcome of any of these. It definitely sucks.
lone she-wolf Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 I feel for ya. I am in the same boat and am afraid of the person meeting someone too. It is so hard to find the RIGHT words to say, when you are having feelings for a friend. Well, look at it this way. Chances are that her "boyfriend" won't be around that long (you hope). Once she is no longer dating him, SPILL YOUR GUTS. In the mean time, if I were you, I would just be super sweet and kick-up the flirting, so that she notices. Good Luck
Guest Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 thank you so much at least im not the only person who feels this way......... yea i'm kinda leaning towards juss telling her how i feel,(but not tell her all of my feelings towards her), but at the same time i kinda feel like juss waiting it out. But today i was hanging out with her as usual with her group of friends and they were talking about "how complicated guys are" she talks about that she hates it when guys give her mixed clues like "if i liked her or not",and as we talked about this she kept looking at me like in an aggrivated tone. she said that she hates it when she doesn't like it when somebody "messes with her feelings" i thought about this after i left and we kept staring at each other across the room so i knew she was talking about me. i can still make her laugh and flirt with her but i don't know if i should do something else though, like if i should like apologize to her for "messing with her feelings" then tell her how i really feel about her. the thing is that i didn't know that i was messing with her feelings (i never said anything to her because i was shy).......but now im starting to get the courage to say SOMETHING to her before she continues on with her new boyfriend(who she just started going with this earlier this week).what do you think i should do? thanks again for the advice. it was all really good advice.
mental_traveller Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Well you have two options. One is to learn a useful lesson, and never make that mistake again. The second is to go to say all's fair in love and war, then go out of your way to win her over. Personally I think no one woman is worth fretting too much over at such an early stage, so I'd just move on. Also you are obsessed by her which always puts you in a position of weakness. But if you're the romantic type, then go for it, bowl her over and totally outdo her new "boyfriend". Most guys aren't particularly charming or romantic, so at this early stage you have a reasonable chance, presuming she fancies you.
mental_traveller Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 thank you so much at least im not the only person who feels this way......... yea i'm kinda leaning towards juss telling her how i feel,(but not tell her all of my feelings towards her), but at the same time i kinda feel like juss waiting it out. But today i was hanging out with her as usual with her group of friends and they were talking about "how complicated guys are" she talks about that she hates it when guys give her mixed clues like "if i liked her or not",and as we talked about this she kept looking at me like in an aggrivated tone. she said that she hates it when she doesn't like it when somebody "messes with her feelings" i thought about this after i left and we kept staring at each other across the room so i knew she was talking about me. i can still make her laugh and flirt with her but i don't know if i should do something else though, like if i should like apologize to her for "messing with her feelings" then tell her how i really feel about her. the thing is that i didn't know that i was messing with her feelings (i never said anything to her because i was shy).......but now im starting to get the courage to say SOMETHING to her before she continues on with her new boyfriend(who she just started going with this earlier this week).what do you think i should do? thanks again for the advice. it was all really good advice. Ouch. So she knows how you feel, and is pissed off because you took so damn long and pussyfooted around. So finally she got impatient and decided to find another guy. I don't blame her. Time to cut the Clark Kent act and change into your Superman outfit. Don't be surprised if she acts hard to get, to "punish" you, but if you are persistent then it sounds like there's enough interest to get her. Shape up, superhero.
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