pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Short term romance would be when you have no interest other than having sex with the person. They are very physically attractive (to you) and the chemistry is off the charts but either the timing for a relationship is off or there are things about them that stop you from pursuing a relationship with them. Basically you use each other for sexual gratification with no expectations of a relationship (FWB). ok, I did that once, I did care about him, but at the same time he bugged me and I did not want anything more from it... I guess that you have to do that at least once. I would not do it again...
Yamaha Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I would not do it again... Why? Then you are looking for a LTR and maybe in the market for marriage. Do you need love to have sex?
pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Why? Then you are looking for a LTR and maybe in the market for marriage. Do you need love to have sex? yes I am open to a LTR. I would need to have love to be intimate. and the reason for that is I need to trust the person to let my inhibitions go...
Yamaha Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 yes I am open to a LTR. I would need to have love to be intimate. and the reason for that is I need to trust the person to let my inhibitions go... That's cool. Hope you find what your looking for.
pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Thanks Yamaha... I do to, and if I don't then it was not meant to be...
Pyro Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Most people think they are better than others. You have not figured that out yet? Its human nature because your universe revolves around you. you're disregarding the competitive nature of humans. Yes alot of people think that they are better than others. I don't associate with those type. A truly confident person will not have to feel like they have to be in competition with others at all times. Yes there is competition for things like a new job and what not. I like who I am and where I am going, but I don't think that I am any better, or worse than others.
fishtaco Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 That's assuming there's a significant social circle of athletic hot chicks to get into. Where I live, it seems that most people my age are married. Of the women in my age group who are not married and are athletic and/or attractive, most have boyfriends. Of those who don't appear to have a boyfriend, most will claim to be too busy if I try to ask them out. If I do date them, it's just a few dates and it fizzles. When a women does show romantic/sexual interest in me, it's usually a fat one. Now unlike some, I'm not necessarily fat-phobic (espically when I haven't had sex in a year). But for a LTR I'd like to be with someone who shares my interest in hiking, skiing. biking, etc. Yeah, you are right in that you shouldn't settle. Also I've learned that common interest is a lot more important that I had originally thought. Maybe you could date younger women? As long as they're over 18, it's all good. Most people my age are getting divorced. So my choices are divorced with kids, or women 10, 15 years younger than me. I've dated both. Maybe because the area I live in. We have showers at work because a lot of people go work out during lunch. But when a woman says she's too busy, be friends with her, and hit up on her friends? I don't know, just trying to figure out what you can do...
riobikini Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 re: IWalkAlone's not-dating issue The interests you list there (hiking, biking, and skiing) usually wind up in the form of some club, and sooner or later, their growth causes them to branch out and link up with members of other like clubs, locally (and far beyond). Look into this -you at least have a sure shot at meeting females with your recreational interests. -Rio
IWalkAlone Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 The bikign clubs are mostly guys and a few of their wives & girlfriends. The hiking clubs are older people and a few younger couples - no single women
riobikini Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 IWalkAlone, I've considered the screen-name you've chosen for yourself, as well as your self-defeating replies back to many posters in regards to their attempts to help you with your problem in meeting women. And I'm seeing a correlation between the two. You really must get to the bottom of *why* you choose to focus on the more pessimistic side of any issue. That is- unless you want to continue "walking alone". -Rio
pricillia Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 The bikign clubs are mostly guys and a few of their wives & girlfriends. The hiking clubs are older people and a few younger couples - no single women May I add that those couples may have a single female friend...You never know until you try.
amaysngrace Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Is there something in a woman's biology that makes them like men who treat them bad? What is it about jerks that women find so attractive? Is it confidence? What's your response? I apologize if this has been brought up, I admit I have not read through all five pages of replies. I read the original post only. I think that women go for jerks due to the father/child relationship dynamic. If your father was loving, supportive and nurturing a woman will choose someone who measures up to that man. If he was less than that, again, she will choose someone based off of that as well. It's no reflection on you if a woman chooses a jerk over you. You can be glad to know her head isn't right to begin with.
lovestruck234 Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Most people think they are better than others. You have not figured that out yet? Its human nature because your universe revolves around you. Nope, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Alpha... Confident people are competitive when they have a right to be. Example...I am competitive when I'm in a surfing comp. Does that make me cocky? Cocky people are competitive in day-to-day activities, or regular things that there really isn't any need to hold up some sort of competition for. Example...Just silly things like when I walk past a set of trafiic lights on my lunch break and there will be 2 cars side by side at the lights. The young guys driving the cars will rev them and see who can rev them the loudest etc to try and show off... See where I'm going with this? Confidence isn't necessarily shown through day-to-day things. I believe if you are confident, you don't feel the need to show it because you are content with who you are. I believe cockiness is shown on a day-to-day basis because I don't believe those people are truly happy. They are going about things the wrong way to try and find happiness. I am a confident person. When I need to be. I am confident when I'm surfing, I am confident when I'm motorbike riding and I'm confident when I'm walking down the street to get milk in my PJ's. Cocky people would not be like that. They would get dressed up JUST to walk down the street to get milk or they would (and I see it at surfing comps) surf so hard they would end up with a serious injury...all in the name of looking good for the ones surrounding you. I know which person I would rather be.
magichands Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 and I'm confident when I'm walking down the street to get milk in my PJ's. I'm not disagreeing with your post, but I find this rather distressing. I don't care what you look like, or how "designer" your PJs are...nobody wants to see that. At least take the trouble to put on some sweat pants.
lovestruck234 Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 I'm not disagreeing with your post, but I find this rather distressing. I don't care what you look like, or how "designer" your PJs are...nobody wants to see that. At least take the trouble to put on some sweat pants. Lol, I don't wear designer PJ's...too bloody expensive... If it's 5am in the morning and I am up getting ready for work...(which is what time I get up)...I usually am not too bothered at that time of the morning with what I look like. I don't make a habit of stepping out in my PJ's, but if need milk for breakfast, I'm just going to go get some milk. I;m not going to worry about what I look like. Yes, I take some pride in how I look, but at 5am?? And if I haven't already gone for a surf and I'm feeling like ratsh*t, yes, it probably will show.... I live in a small country town...population 200...the grocery store is about 2 minutes up the road....go figure....
IWalkAlone Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 IWalkAlone, I've considered the screen-name you've chosen for yourself, as well as your self-defeating replies back to many posters in regards to their attempts to help you with your problem in meeting women. And I'm seeing a correlation between the two. You really must get to the bottom of *why* you choose to focus on the more pessimistic side of any issue. That is- unless you want to continue "walking alone". -Rio My pessimism reflects my experience and frustration at how what seems to come easily for most people is very elusive for me. The dynamics of what makes women romatically/sexually attracted toward some men and not others seem to work together so that very few women feel romantically/sexually drawn toward me. There doesn't seem to be any one glaring thing wrong with me. Different women look for different qualities, and it seems that most women are looking for at least one quality I don't possess: I'm not good looking or muscular enough for women who only date good-looking or muscular guys. I'm not rich enough for women who insist on rich men. I'm not dangerious & threatening for women who are turned on by "bad boys." I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic, or abuser for the women who are drawn toward that kind of drama. I not religious, so I don't go to church and am not suitable for women who want a church-going man. I like intelligent conversation, so I tend to go over the head of some people, and can be perceived as "nerdy." And when someone IS interested in me, that interest only lasts a few weeks, or it is someone who doesn't fit MY profile for a LTR.
SmoochieFace Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 My pessimism reflects my experience and frustration at how what seems to come easily for most people is very elusive for me. The dynamics of what makes women romatically/sexually attracted toward some men and not others seem to work together so that very few women feel romantically/sexually drawn toward me. There doesn't seem to be any one glaring thing wrong with me. Different women look for different qualities, and it seems that most women are looking for at least one quality I don't possess: I'm not good looking or muscular enough for women who only date good-looking or muscular guys. I'm not rich enough for women who insist on rich men. I'm not dangerious & threatening for women who are turned on by "bad boys." I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic, or abuser for the women who are drawn toward that kind of drama. I not religious, so I don't go to church and am not suitable for women who want a church-going man. I like intelligent conversation, so I tend to go over the head of some people, and can be perceived as "nerdy." And when someone IS interested in me, that interest only lasts a few weeks, or it is someone who doesn't fit MY profile for a LTR. I understand your frustration. I didn't come across the 'right' one until I was 35. By the 'right' one I mean the one who isn't into the drama, games, 'party' lifestyle, money, and vanity. My experience tells me that women will pass up on a guy if he fails in even one criterion on their 'list'. I've had that happen countless times - and the things that would be 'dealbreakers' for them were things that had absolutely zip to do with things that would really make a relationship work (looks, height, hair colour, eye colour, etc.). I found your line about not being 'dangerous' interesting as well. I had one girl leave me because, in her words, I "didn't slap her around." Women... I will never understand them and that's why I've quit approaching them. I just live my life and if one wants to be with me she can make the first move. It's much better that way because I, unlike the women I've encountered, do not have any lengthy 'lists' on what she has to be like and I certainly do not turn down women because of petty and insignificant things such as height, hair colour, etc.
serial muse Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Most people think they are better than others. You have not figured that out yet? Its human nature because your universe revolves around you. i'm just chiming in again because i think alpha has made rather a profound point here, that applies to more than this one thread. it's so true. rock on, alpha. and you know, if you think about nearly every other thread on these boards in this context, in sheds a whole new light on things. IWA, my friend. this is going to sound flippant, but there's a saying - the only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you. breaking this down: 1. I'm not good looking or muscular enough for women who only date good-looking or muscular guys. 2. I'm not rich enough for women who insist on rich men. 3. I'm not dangerious & threatening for women who are turned on by "bad boys." 4. I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic, or abuser for the women who are drawn toward that kind of drama. 5. I not religious, so I don't go to church and am not suitable for women who want a church-going man. 6. I like intelligent conversation, so I tend to go over the head of some people, and can be perceived as "nerdy." 7. And when someone IS interested in me, that interest only lasts a few weeks, or it is someone who doesn't fit MY profile for a LTR. presumably you're not interested in the shallow and/or religious women you talk about in #1-5 anyway, so why bother discussing them? unless you want a shallow and/or religious woman. so. moving on. # 6 and 7 are the issue here. and problem #7, as you note, is that half the time you're not interested in a woman who might like you. so, kind of not your problem. that's more her problem, actually. but she can write her own post about unavailable men, etc., yadda who only want to date women #1-4. so if #6 is the only real problem you've got here, the solution may be simple.: date smarter women. there are lots of nerdy-cute women out there. are you interested in them?
IWalkAlone Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 There may be lots of nerdy-cute women out there, but most of them don't live near me, and of those that are nearby, they're difficult to meet without coming off as too pushy/needy/creepy etc. In a typical year, if you take all of the women I know and new ones I can meet though various means, subtract the ones who are married or in relationships (the most common disqualifier), 1-5 above, and the ones that don't appeal to me for one reason or another, that usually leaves fewer than five I'd consider dating. Of those, a couple will be perpetally "too busy," and the others I'll date 1-3 times. Maybe once every year and a half, I'll date someone as long as 6 weeks, and/or get to sleep with them before it fizzles. Yes, the common denominator in all this is me, but I can't identify what about myself I need to change, except perhaps to take steroids, or to do all the phony contrived stuff you read about on the "how to get laid" web sites.
pricillia Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Love struck, I agree with your post... And I did not recall you mentioning designer PJ's Also no matter what we think there is always someone out there better then you...at something
Green Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 If you really believe women like jerks then I say be a jerk and see how that goes for you. I say women like men who can play the dating game, which involves things like not giving the girl every thing she wants when ever she wants it. So play the game and have a good time is what I say to all you guys out there
lovestruck234 Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 Also no matter what we think there is always someone out there better then you...at something And I'm not bothered by that...that's what makes a confident person confident, NOT cocky. I see myself good at certain things, but I'm ratsh*t at other things... It's the way the world works....you can't be good at everything. I realise that. I don't loose sleep over it or anything...
pricillia Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 There may be lots of nerdy-cute women out there, but most of them don't live near me, and of those that are nearby, they're difficult to meet without coming off as too pushy/needy/creepy etc. In a typical year, if you take all of the women I know and new ones I can meet though various means, subtract the ones who are married or in relationships (the most common disqualifier), 1-5 above, and the ones that don't appeal to me for one reason or another, that usually leaves fewer than five I'd consider dating. Of those, a couple will be perpetally "too busy," and the others I'll date 1-3 times. Maybe once every year and a half, I'll date someone as long as 6 weeks, and/or get to sleep with them before it fizzles. Yes, the common denominator in all this is me, but I can't identify what about myself I need to change, except perhaps to take steroids, or to do all the phony contrived stuff you read about on the "how to get laid" web sites. excuses... all excuses
riobikini Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 IWalkAlone, after reading all your replies -maybe walking alone is good. I'm exhausted. Take care. -Rio
Yamaha Posted September 26, 2006 Posted September 26, 2006 IWalkAlone, after reading all your replies -maybe walking alone is good. You have to pursue a gal and make some effort if you want one in your life. They don't just fall in your lap. Maybe the life of a Monk would suit you.
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