alphamale Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Lol. Yes, there is a BIG difference between confidence and cockiness... that is such a load of bullkrap. women ALWAYS say this. in reality the two are intertwined. you can't seperate cockiness from confidence.
Yamaha Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 No not at all, I am saying if I am interested in someone and there is chemistry on both sides, I take the time to get to know the person before letting him bed me, so to speak. I don't like jerks bottom line. And I am different, and allot of women are, not all women like jerks. So your always looking for a relationship vs a short term romance. I don't fault your ideals but don't you sometimes just get horny, see a hot guy and want to have sex? Does it always have to be about a relationship? Nice guys can also be jerks.
Yamaha Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 that is such a load of bullkrap. women ALWAYS say this. in reality the two are intertwined. you can't separate cockiness from confidence. Good one, Alpha. Women always seem to talk out of both sides of their mouth. They want confidence but want to categorize the rules. Could it be they really don't know what they want?
Sand&Water Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Pricillia, you, made a few good remarks about men. Very good. I agree. I, too, use a similar approach. you can't seperate cockiness from confidence. Check mark. Cockiness and confidence are prerequisites of each other. I do believe a handful of cockiness, and confidence is healthy. Sand&Water
lovestruck234 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 that is such a load of bullkrap. women ALWAYS say this. in reality the two are intertwined. you can't seperate cockiness from confidence. Hmmm....good point, I guess... To an extent. Yes, you can seperate in some circumstances.... It depends on their personality, I think. If you are happy and outgoing then you are confident, if you want the whole world to know you are the hottest/most amazing/important person in the world by walking around pulling loserish pick-up lines and wearing something to show off your "muscles", then you are cocky...get me?? lol
mental_traveller Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 In all fairness you've got to admit that a lot of guys like b*tches. True. Until the morning after.
mental_traveller Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Lol. Yes, there is a BIG difference between confidence and cockiness... I'm no-one to judge on this...everybody experiences it differently. This drummer was the biggest cock! He would spend longer getting ready than me! Plus, goign to watch him at shows, when he was walking off stage he would have his tongue down some other girls throat... I was just like an object to him. We wuold go to massive parties and he would just have his arm around my neck the whole night, didn't speak to me ONCE the whole night, but the fact that he had "some hot chick" draped over him like an ornament made him feel good about himself... Let's just say I left him the day I walked in on him kissing another guy!! F**kin bi-sexual *********!! But he got to sleep with you, no? Or did you bed the nice math PhD with the pocket protector?
lovestruck234 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 But he got to sleep with you, no? Or did you bed the nice math PhD with the pocket protector? Ah I see where you're going with this... No, I didn't sleep with him. The first person I slept with is my current bf. He got alot out of me sexually, yes. Intercourse - no. He's a fag anyway...
noclobber Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Friendship is what matters in the beginning then it can turn hot... I call bullsh*t!!!!!!!!
Pyro Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 that is such a load of bullkrap. women ALWAYS say this. in reality the two are intertwined. you can't seperate cockiness from confidence. I'm going to have to disagree. You can easily separate the two. People who are cocky tend to think that they are a gift to the world and are better then others. People who are truly confident are happy with who they are and have no reason to think that they are better than anyone else.
lovestruck234 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I'm going to have to disagree. You can easily separate the two. People who are cocky tend to think that they are a gift to the world and are better then others. People who are truly confident are happy with who they are and have no reason to think that they are better than anyone else. Perfectly put...
david616098 Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 I think women tend to like confidence and you have to admit a good number of jerks are confident so odds are slightly in their favour.
riobikini Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 re: Billhere57: " Is there something in a woman's biology that makes them like men who treat them bad? What is it about jerks that women find so attractive? Is it confidence? What's your response?" Bill, in answer to your original question, I don't think it's necessarily biology that causes some females to take positive notice with the behavior of a jerk; I think, for many, it has more to do with the fact they haven't enough experience with the downside of dealing with them to know any better. You don't know if you like ice cream until you've tried ice cream -and likewise, these females don't know -haven't learned, yet- that they do not have to choose a jerk in order to be with someone exciting and masculine. So what is it about jerks that drawn females' attention? They're often flambouyant. Bold (there's your connection to 'confidence', however confused). They take risks (a lot of unnessessary ones). They go against 'the grain'. And they seem to not care about what other's think. And all that behavior is designed to draw attention. Some women never grow out of the need for a partner who behaves with what they view as "passion for life". It's just that their whole idea of someone living life with passion is probably a lot different than that of most of us. And I think it's a kind of addiction they form in repeatedly choosing the jack-ass -for whatever reason. So don't sweat it too much if you are not the center of attention for these women. Chances are, you probably wouldn't like their lifestyle, either -nor what may lie hidden beneath the surface of all that need for excitement and display. Take care. -Rio
Rooster_DAR Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Even so, is it not surmisable to assume that there are lot's of women who find this interesting, a challenge, and unpredictable? I mean lot's of women thrive on drama, excitement, and the unknown; so the dysfunctionality a jerk or bad boy present these kinds of oppurtunities. Just like I have been stating all along! roost
a4a Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Jerks (goog looking well endowed ones only) are great fun to play with. I am not seriously attracted to jerks but they can be fun for short periods of time. The Jerks must also be financially stable and willing and able to pay the way for both of us. I don't give a rip about "using" a jerk...... now I find it very hard to use a nice guy...... so jerks do serve a purpose. Keep in mind not every women runs around the planet looking for marriage or a LTR.... sometimes a few dates are just a few dates And don't rip me for using jerks..... as they are probably trying to use me too. Win Win deal.
IWalkAlone Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Confidence and cockiness are NOT the same thing, but women often confuse the two. Arrogance, agressiveness, an violent streaks are also often mistaken as confidence. If a4a and other women enjoy getting laid with cocky arrogant jerks, I have no problem with it. What DOES piss me off though is women who complain that the guys they date are jerks, but they will not return calls from guys who show interest in them who are not jerks.
a4a Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Hey I never said I laid all the jerks... .... but heck one may have a nice boat for me and the friends to hang out on....... one may have tickets to a concert. But no way would I return a call from a guy that I just was plan not attracted to, or take him up on an offer for a date.....jerk or nice guy. Just not interested and no reason I should feel obligated to have to fake interest in another person. Ah nice guys....... maybe you are not so nice after all. Or maybe you just are shooting too high and need to shoot for someone on your own level of attractiveness. That Beauty and the Beast fairytale ain't for real peeps. Unless the beast is loaded with an exceptional wad of cash and has other qualities. But if the Beast has those things most of the time he is a jerk.
IWalkAlone Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 How does one measure one's "level of attractiveness" relative to the people one wants to date? It's frustrating that while I view myself as average attractiveness, most of the women who seem interested date me seem to be from the bottom of the barrell looks-wise. All I can say objectively is that I'm 5'11 and thin. I like hiking, mountain biking and skiing and I'd like to be with someone who would enjoy those things with me. But physically fit women don't want to be more than friends. I'm not chasing supermodels, just average, physically fit owmen. But if it weren't fat, out-of-shape women, I'd barely date at all.
a4a Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 How does one measure one's "level of attractiveness" relative to the people one wants to date? It's frustrating that while I view myself as average attractiveness, most of the women who seem interested date me seem to be from the bottom of the barrell looks-wise. All I can say objectively is that I'm 5'11 and thin. I like hiking, mountain biking and skiing and I'd like to be with someone who would enjoy those things with me. But physically fit women don't want to be more than friends. I'm not chasing supermodels, just average, physically fit owmen. But if it weren't fat, out-of-shape women, I'd barely date at all. I think this deserves a thread of it's own.
alphamale Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 You can easily separate the two. People who are cocky tend to think that they are a gift to the world and are better then others. Most people think they are better than others. You have not figured that out yet? Its human nature because your universe revolves around you. People who are truly confident are happy with who they are and have no reason to think that they are better than anyone else. you're disregarding the competitive nature of humans.
fishtaco Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 How does one measure one's "level of attractiveness" relative to the people one wants to date? Nah, the attractiveness of your date doesn't show your own relative attractiveness, it shows the level of your self esteem (or how rich you are, but that's a given, money overrides any attribute). But a more practical approach, you have to hang out with the type of women you want to date. You want athletic hot chicks? You have to insert yourself into their social circle and fit in as much as you can. Once you've met enough of those women and hung out with them for enough period of time, then you'll get a hit. If you don't, then get them to introduce you to their friends, who will most likely happen to also be athletic hot chicks. And keep going.
pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 So your always looking for a relationship vs a short term romance. I don't fault your ideals but don't you sometimes just get horny, see a hot guy and want to have sex? Does it always have to be about a relationship? Nice guys can also be jerks. Hmmm that is a really good question. Yes I sometimes get horny, I take care of myselff in those got to have it moments. Define short term romance.
pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Most people think they are better than others. You have not figured that out yet? Its human nature because your universe revolves around you. you're disregarding the competitive nature of humans. ah UnderDog ( oh I mean Alpha Male) you are disregarding the confidence of humans...
IWalkAlone Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 But a more practical approach, you have to hang out with the type of women you want to date. You want athletic hot chicks? You have to insert yourself into their social circle and fit in as much as you can. Once you've met enough of those women and hung out with them for enough period of time, then you'll get a hit. If you don't, then get them to introduce you to their friends, who will most likely happen to also be athletic hot chicks. And keep going. That's assuming there's a significant social circle of athletic hot chicks to get into. Where I live, it seems that most people my age are married. Of the women in my age group who are not married and are athletic and/or attractive, most have boyfriends. Of those who don't appear to have a boyfriend, most will claim to be too busy if I try to ask them out. If I do date them, it's just a few dates and it fizzles. When a women does show romantic/sexual interest in me, it's usually a fat one. Now unlike some, I'm not necessarily fat-phobic (espically when I haven't had sex in a year). But for a LTR I'd like to be with someone who shares my interest in hiking, skiing. biking, etc.
Yamaha Posted September 22, 2006 Posted September 22, 2006 Hmmm that is a really good question. Yes I sometimes get horny, I take care of myself in those got to have it moments. Define short term romance. Short term romance would be when you have no interest other than having sex with the person. They are very physically attractive (to you) and the chemistry is off the charts but either the timing for a relationship is off or there are things about them that stop you from pursuing a relationship with them. Basically you use each other for sexual gratification with no expectations of a relationship (FWB).
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