Big Tone Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 A little overview I’m going to try to sum it up as best as I can. I’ve Been together with my G/f for almost 4 yrs, this past month made four. First year was great except I had a "smoking" problem and I was always out with my friends, she really didn’t mind this at first, but then it became a problem. She would get upset and jealous over me being out with my friends a-lot of the time. Her and I spent almost everyday with each-other and we talked on the phone more then several times a day, pretty much all day. Everything was pretty good until the last year of our relationship, I would pick fights with her, complain about a-lot of things, I would nag and I was always a grouch. We were always faithful with each-other. She fell for me and fell in love with me within 8 months. Everything happened really fast, I only knew her for 3 weeks and I asked her out. She has always been really honest with me she never lied, and when she did it was over something little and stupid. OK... the problem. During the 4th yr of our relationship everything started to go downhill, her and I would fight over stupid things, she would always ask me "what do you want from me or, what do you want from this relationship?" Just everything started going bad. I would always go out and not answer her phone calls. I also would break up with her for stupid reasons; I can count how many times I broke up with her on both of my hands. I could feel her breaking away from me and I saw it coming, but I didn't pay attention to the red flags (I was in my own little world ignoring all the bad). I took advantage of the control that I had in the relationship. She quit calling so much and we wouldn’t talk like we use to. I would go to pick her up and instead of her getting excited she would just give me a hurt look, I could see that hurt in her eyes. The break-up. She broke up with me 2 and a half months ago( july 9- sept 19) She said that she wanted to be with me but she couldn’t and that her heart was broken. At The beginning of the two month period she would tell me she didn't know if she made the right decision (breaking up with me), she said she was really confused and severely depressed, she was lost and didn’t know what to do. I would ask her what does your heart and mind tell you, her response, part of me wants you and the other doesn't. A couple weeks later I asked her how she felt again same answer, she would always give me the “I don’t know,” And that she didn’t know what she wanted. Then the first month came along and she told me that she just wanted to be friends. I asked her why she felt like part of her didn’t want to be with me and she said a big part of it had to do with afraid of getting hurt, and not wanting to get hurt again. she didn't come out and say it was over but pretty much hinted and the vibes I got told me it was over. Then toward the end of the two month period it kind of seemed like her feelings were coming back, she started to call more and we didn’t argue at all. I thought I would have a chance by showing her the way things use to be by talking and not arguing. So… about two weeks ago she told me that she wanted to give it another shot; she wanted things to work out, she didn’t want for us to be over, she couldn’t see herself without me or live without me, she wants to live her life with me. Now rewinding a couple days back; she wants to get married with me, she’s ready to settle down with me, she wants to be with me forever. She says shes starting to fall for me again, WTF. WOW… is this even right or possible? I know I’m the only one that knows my girl but does this sound like this is possible, we are currently together but how can ur feelings move that fast IDK. I don’t think she’s playing games or lying, she always looks me in the eye and she doesn’t give me any reason to believe she’s bluffing. But this is almost IMPOsSIBLE, I would like someone’s opinion, I really love and care for this girl but does this sound too good to be true?
swirly27 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 How old are you guys? Is marriage something you have ever discussed? It sounds like how you were treating her in the end and taking her for granted really wore her down and that is why she backed off and broke it off. I bet she wanted to be with you that whole time during the 2 month break up, but she didn't trust you or how you would treat her if you guys got back, but then it seems you showed her how it could be again and all her feelings came flooding back. If you guys are together now and things are going good, maybe just have a talk with her about how important this chance is for you and you want to do it right and not move so fast. Is she really serious about getting married or just talking about it like a fantasy in the future? I don't think she is playing games, she probably just feels secure again because you are acting like the guy she used to know that showed her attention, affection and that you care.
Big Ton Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 we are both young, im 19 and shes 18 She has brought marriage up several times, She asked me to merry her and I smiled and said yes, she goes "no im being serious," she had brought this up on several occasions. She keeps bringing up us and moving into my old house, its a duplex, she talks about the future a-lot: I want us to get a place together, I'm ready to settle down with you, I want to live my life with you, that kinda stuff. I dont think its a fantasy she sounds very serious. She tells me I drive her crazy and that she can't live without me, and I have very strong feelings for her too.
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