SweetRB Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 my boyfriend never tells me im pretty and one time I asked him and he said he doesnt tell me cuz he thinks it will get to my head and then I will be big headed. Why doesnt he tell me. Obviously if hes with me he must think im pretty, but I just dont understand. Hes told me like 3 times in the last 4 years.
Sally00 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 It's okay. Of course he thinks you're pretty... especially after years of being with you. Some guys are just different. Maybe you should hand him some compliments and see if he'll do the same to you.
magichands Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 He just doesn't want you to lose count. The less you say something, the more it means when you do. Actually, I'm kidding.
whichwayisup Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 What really count is how you feel about yourself. And...In action, what your boyfriend does for you. Does he make you feel good? Do nice things for you? Many men aren't comfy with giving compliments, so talk to your boyfriend, tell him that it would be nice if once in a while he could tell ya how hot you look etc. Him telling you that if he tells ya you're pretty is going to give you a big head is just plain silly! Do you compliment him? If not, start doing so...Maybe he'll realize it's a give/take, compromise deal when in a relationship.
RecordProducer Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Well 3 times is enough to say something. I wouldn't want my husband to tell me all the time that I am pretty. He stopped when we got married, but I think it's because before he would tell me during our online conversations (we had a LDR), almost never in person. The first time we met, he told me "You're absolutely gorgeous!" I don't remember him telling me much "Oh, you look so beautiful tonight!" Frankly, I would consider it pressuring if he told me that too many times as if it's the most important thing. How many times has he told you that you're smart or have a good heart or cook well or whatever...? It's just your insecurity talking out of you. I told my husband a few months ago that he doesn't look at me or tell me compliments and asked him if it meant I was ugly to him. He told me: "What are you talking about? You are very pretty! :confused:" Since then I calmed down and stopped counting the times has hasn't told me a compliment. How you get along is way more important than verbal approval of your qualities. Does he have sex with you and desire you? If yes - he thinks you're pretty and sexy.
alphamale Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 my boyfriend never tells me im pretty and one time I asked him and he said he doesnt tell me cuz he thinks it will get to my head and then I will be big headed. your b/f is correct in his assumption...
whichwayisup Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Ah bah humbug alpha! Telling a woman that she looks nice isn't going to give her a big head! TELLING her ALL the time, maybe. But, once ina while why not?
Pyro Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 my boyfriend never tells me im pretty and one time I asked him and he said he doesnt tell me cuz he thinks it will get to my head and then I will be big headed. Why doesnt he tell me. Obviously if hes with me he must think im pretty, but I just dont understand. Hes told me like 3 times in the last 4 years. Wow, only 3 times in a 4 year span. Hearing something too much can cause it to lose its meaning, or in some extreme cases, it can lead to an ego boost. Talk to him and let him know that you would appreciate a compliment here and there, or start complimenting him (if you haven't already) and maybe he will start as well.
Sally00 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful all the time... in a span of hmm, almost 2 years of him in my life. Actually, I've always been told I'm pretty. But my head is far from being big. I still deny the fact that guys flirt with me.
dgiirl Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 My exh use to say the same thing. It really has nothing to do with you and your ego. He's simply not use to giving out compliments and it makes him feel uncomfortable. But instead of working on that, he'd rather deflect it onto you getting a big ego. Tell him that by him NOT giving out compliments once in a while (not all the time, but once in a while), it destroys your self esteem and makes you feel ugly. My parents have been married for 35 years, and the L word for my dad is "I like you" lol
catgirl1927 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Not telling you you're pretty very often is kind of a guy thing, they think it so they don't say it. Not very expressive sometimes. Telling you he won't tell you you're pretty so you won't get too full of yourself is at best a jerk move, at worst a sign that he WANTS you to have low self esteem so he can push you around. Why on earth wouldn't someone want someone they love to feel good about themselves?
Sand&Water Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 SweetRB, my boyfriend never tells me im pretty... Hes told me like 3 times in the last 4 years. Does he express/hint/show it in other ways? Sand&Water
Lisa32 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Actions speak louder than words. I'm sure he wouldn't be with you if he thought you were unattractive.
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