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This is what he wrote me and it makes me even more


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Posted

"i'd be lying if i told you i don't already miss you, and that i'm ready to let go of you. i'm not. i have a big empty hole inside me right now, and i long for those time when it was just you and me and nothing else mattered, like when we were bundled up in my comforter during the rain. i know you think i don't love you...maybe somehow it makes all this easier for you if you believe that. if that is so, i'm sorry i can't help you make it easy. i do love you. maybe i'm crazy to think i can let let go of you. you've been a part of me for so long, and you shine light into my life. i've just been feeling this desperation lately that i don't know how to describe. maybe i'm not myself...in fact i know i'm not...i just don't know how else to behave. i'm scared. i need you and i need to be alone too. i want you back and i also want total solitude. the paradox is tearing me apart. i'm sorry for making you so sad and confused. i just wish i understood what is wrong with me. i nearly threw away my whole future because of what i was feeling. they said they were revoking my assistantship and i had to convince them not to. i hate that my self destruction has hurt you too...i just don't understand my world anymore. i hope i haven't destroyed your ability to find happiness."

 

 

I don't know what to make of this letter. I know I am not going to hold hope that he comes back to me, but apart of me doesn't want to let go. Anybody have any advice.

Posted

Sounds like two possibilites to me, either he is hooked on drugs or he is going through severe depression.

 

How long where you together?

How long have you been apart?

How was the breakup introduced?

How was your relationship before this?

 

Need more data to form a better idea and opinion here.

 

regards

Posted

i've just been feeling this desperation lately that i don't know how to describe. maybe i'm not myself...in fact i know i'm not...i just don't know how else to behave

i hate that my self destruction has hurt you

 

These quotes raise a big red flag that there is something he is not telling you. Not sure what.

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Posted

I think he is depressed. He is very anti-drugs so that isnt it I am sure.

 

We have been together for 5 years

Been apart for a month now

We gotdebate about something political and then it took it way to seriously.

Before this it has been great, except for the fact that he had to move for his p.h.D program recently.

Posted

What was the debate about if you don't mind? This could determine some of the issue depending on the context.

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