Miss1984 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Okay, I'm hoping this will make sense as I am having a thought jumble in my head at the moment! I am getting over a 'relationship' (read: distaster) that ended about 6 weeks ago with a guy I was seeing for just under a year. Although I'm feeling a bit low, I don't want him back as it was never going to last and he was a complete commitment phobe who didn't want the same relationship I did. I ended up getting hurt and it was stupid so we ended it. My problem is mainly self esteem issues I think and I want to get past thinking about him and all that went wrong and wondering why he didn't care about me enough etc. I feel like going out and having fun, meeting new people and enjoying being single. After all, it's probably what my ex is doing! I held onto my last break up for SO LONG, didn't even consider moving on- I just wanted him back so this time it's a completely different situation. There again, the first relationship was a good one and I missed him and still loved him, this time the relationship was wrong from the start (I see that now!) and I cared for him but didn't love him. I'd known for ages it wasn't going to work out even though I wanted it to, so moping about seems a waste of energy. Going out and having fun and meeting new people does make you feel better. It makes it easier not to dwell on things and reminds you what and it's like to be single and have a laugh. I'm not looking for a relationship now, past experience has put me off a bit, but that's not to say I wouldn't be open to it if I met someone I liked enough. Mainly I just want to have a flirt and meet people and have fun. (I don't mean sleep around, haha.) Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone's going through a similar thing and your views on whether meeting people is a good cure to break up blues and helps you move on, versus whether you think people should move on and be completely over it before you meet someone else?
Cheshire Cat Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone's going through a similar thing and your views on whether meeting people is a good cure to break up blues and helps you move on, versus whether you think people should move on and be completely over it before you meet someone else? If dating helps you get over the break up and feel better, go for it! Just be careful about: - not doing silly things that would end up hurting you just to take your mind off your ex. - not hurting others, even unintentionally. If you are just looking for having flirts and having a good time (enjoying each other's company and doing things together) it's very fine, just warn people you are dating that you do not wish to get seriously involved in case you realize they are getting more attached to you than you are to them.
jacked17 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I highly recommend going out and having a good time. If you have a good group of friends go out with them every weekend. It will take your mind off your ex and you'll meet all kinds of new people. You don't even have to date any of them but you can get out there and make a lot of new friends. After my breakup I was so crushed and destroyed that the last thing I wanted to do was go out. You just have to pick yourself up and before you know it you'll stop thinking about your ex and you'll be enjoying yourself.
Teacher's Pet Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone's going through a similar thing and your views on whether meeting people is a good cure to break up blues and helps you move on, versus whether you think people should move on and be completely over it before you meet someone else? As someone who is "celebrating" the 3 month anniversary of a MISERABLE breakup......I will say this.. GO OUT! MEET PEOPLE! I have had more fun in the last 3 months making new friends and just having LOTS of fun than I have in the last 3 YEARS! I've gone places I've never been, hung out with great people, and met 2 wonderful women (right here!), whom I've formed lifelong friendships with. The world is waiting for you. Take it! -tp
Author Miss1984 Posted September 20, 2006 Author Posted September 20, 2006 Thanks everyone. I have the disadvantage of living in a really small town with one fairly small club which happens to be where he goes every week. I don't really enjoy it there anyway- the atmosphere or the people, plus I'd be pretty much guaranteed to run into him- he may be meeting new girls, but I don't want to see it. Also I'm pretty broke at the moment, so going out isn't really an option now. I have that feeling where I'm climbing the walls to get out there and have fun- aaah!!! HOWEVER, all my money is going on a month-long trip to California (I leave in just over a week) so I guess I will just have to go crazy over there! Once I get back and get a new job I'm gonna get all my friends together to go out new places a bit further away from home. Plus I'm moving to London in the new year so I guess I will have to be patient but I'm just going crazy! I really envy the American tradition of dating. The way people can date a few people at once, find out who they like and there's no guilt or anything. That would never happen in England because things are so different- there are so many more issues and it's generally so much more complicated and 'uptight' but if it had always been that way then it would be cool.
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