gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I wanted to hear what all of your thoughts were on love on the net... Do you think it is possible for people to meet on the net and then build a relationship over the internet/telephone?? Could it be true love?!?!?
Adunaphel Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I wanted to hear what all of your thoughts were on love on the net... Do you think it is possible for people to meet on the net and then build a relationship over the internet/telephone?? Could it be true love?!?!? I don't think it's impossible, just very difficult. The online you and the real life you are often quite different. People often lie - on the internet lying is easier. Hiding your bad traits is also so much easier. (you couldn't really tell I'm a white-bunny boiler psychopath from my posts, could you?) Until you meet in person, you can't really say if you'll actually like the other person so much. You can only guess. They could have some defects that you cannot spot while you keep online that might really irk you. Or, again, you could find them way more attractive than you would have thought.
allina Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I think it's very possible to meet someone online and have it develop in to a relationship, BUT love/a relationship can't develop online, you have to actually meet the person in real life, not just carry on on the net.
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 People often lie - on the internet lying is easier. Yeah... but over the period over .. lets say a year??
Adunaphel Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Yeah... but over the period over .. lets say a year?? Even easier - after a year you are so used to remembering the big lies you might have told at first, that you recall them as easily as if they were true facts, so you only have to pay attention to the small lies you might be feeding your internet love with. I'm speaking of a very hypothetical situation here. The person you are in love with is very probably honest, or honest to a sufficient degree, but some people are very good at lying. And there are some very twisted people out there.
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I wanted to hear what all of your thoughts were on love on the net... Do you think it is possible for people to meet on the net and then build a relationship over the internet/telephone?? Could it be true love?!?!? I'm a huge advocator of online dating. However with the proviso that the meet is done fairly quickly, and both parties are fairly local to each other. I don't believe it's best used when it is used to start a LDR which is only held over the telephone/net, and where the two parties are not meeting. When they don't meet fairly quickly, it seems that relationships can continue for quite some time (there's tales on here!), but I wonder how many actually come to anything when the couple eventually meet, and how much of a relationship you can actually have without being in each others presence. To me it's important that you meet each other. It's easy to be attracted to a photo then find the person doesn't look like you thought, easy to be attracted to a voice then find there's nothing there when you meet!! I think it's very rare that a completely 'online' LDR works out....?!
burning 4 revenge Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I'm sure it will come to pain and grief and suffering just like everything else does in life, so I say go for it.
Adunaphel Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I'm sure it will come to pain and grief and suffering just like everything else does in life, so I say go for it. Now, this is an encouraging positive attitude.
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 I'm sure it will come to pain and grief and suffering just like everything else does in life, so I say go for it. Thanks very much for your positive addition to my query....
allina Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Is this about a specific situation in your life?
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 The reason for my post was... I had met a guy on the net about a year ago now, and we had intended meeting up but then I met my boyfriend (now my ex!!), I wanted to make a go of things and just my internet guy at arms length. We kept in-touch quite frequently... sometimes talking on the phone for maybe 3-4 hours a night! He was the one that sent me a message every night, saying sweet dreams, and he was the one sending me a message every morning, telling me I hoped I ha a good day at work etc... everything my boyfriend at the time should have been doing! Our intentions had been to meet nd to go on a date together, but then I met someone... but now maybe that I am no longer with my guy, could something come of this?? We have built up a very good friendship over this past year, and we usually have some form of contact every day. Could it be something mroe or is it doomed to internet friendship forever??
allina Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 The reason for my post was... I had met a guy on the net about a year ago now, and we had intended meeting up but then I met my boyfriend (now my ex!!), I wanted to make a go of things and just my internet guy at arms length. We kept in-touch quite frequently... sometimes talking on the phone for maybe 3-4 hours a night! He was the one that sent me a message every night, saying sweet dreams, and he was the one sending me a message every morning, telling me I hoped I ha a good day at work etc... everything my boyfriend at the time should have been doing! Our intentions had been to meet nd to go on a date together, but then I met someone... but now maybe that I am no longer with my guy, could something come of this?? We have built up a very good friendship over this past year, and we usually have some form of contact every day. Could it be something mroe or is it doomed to internet friendship forever?? Why not plan the date now and take it from there?
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 The reason for my post was... I had met a guy on the net about a year ago now, and we had intended meeting up but then I met my boyfriend (now my ex!!), I wanted to make a go of things and just my internet guy at arms length. We kept in-touch quite frequently... sometimes talking on the phone for maybe 3-4 hours a night! He was the one that sent me a message every night, saying sweet dreams, and he was the one sending me a message every morning, telling me I hoped I ha a good day at work etc... everything my boyfriend at the time should have been doing! Our intentions had been to meet nd to go on a date together, but then I met someone... but now maybe that I am no longer with my guy, could something come of this?? We have built up a very good friendship over this past year, and we usually have some form of contact every day. Could it be something mroe or is it doomed to internet friendship forever?? Is he in the UK? Close enough for a real relationship? I mean, you could take if offline and into real life? If so, I think go for it....! It sounds like you've built a positive friendship over the year! Your situation is a little different than I was thinking of!
Adunaphel Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 The reason for my post was... I had met a guy on the net about a year ago now, and we had intended meeting up but then I met my boyfriend (now my ex!!), I wanted to make a go of things and just my internet guy at arms length. We kept in-touch quite frequently... sometimes talking on the phone for maybe 3-4 hours a night! He was the one that sent me a message every night, saying sweet dreams, and he was the one sending me a message every morning, telling me I hoped I ha a good day at work etc... everything my boyfriend at the time should have been doing! Our intentions had been to meet nd to go on a date together, but then I met someone... but now maybe that I am no longer with my guy, could something come of this?? We have built up a very good friendship over this past year, and we usually have some form of contact every day. Could it be something mroe or is it doomed to internet friendship forever?? This sounds so sweet. :love: I'd say meet him in person and find out!
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Yea, he lives in the UK! He is from Manchester, so it's not that far away from me. And we are meeting up! But I am actually feeling quite nervous! My boss is lending me his car for 3 weeks when he goes to Thailand and I have to drive him to Manchester airport, and I had thought that would be the perfect time to meet him! I'm just worried now that from just speaking on the phone for so ling, maybe that's were things are best left?? We have a wonderful friendship and I don't want to ruin that but it would be nice to think that there could maybe be something more there. He truely is a sweet guy, but I suppose I am just nervous...
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Yea, he lives in the UK! He is from Manchester, so it's not that far away from me. And we are meeting up! But I am actually feeling quite nervous! My boss is lending me his car for 3 weeks when he goes to Thailand and I have to drive him to Manchester airport, and I had thought that would be the perfect time to meet him! I'm just worried now that from just speaking on the phone for so ling, maybe that's were things are best left?? We have a wonderful friendship and I don't want to ruin that but it would be nice to think that there could maybe be something more there. He truely is a sweet guy, but I suppose I am just nervous... Just go for it and keep an open mind about it. If there's nothing more there, then you'll have finally met your good friend...! If there is something more there then... bonus!! Just try to be relaxed about it all (easier said than done, I know!), and take it one step at a time. Just meet up and see how it feels! Ohhhh and do let us know won't you?!!
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Oh you are getting me so excited now! It is still another month away yet!! lol!! It's not happening until the 20th October... so I have a month to sweat it out! It's just really strange meeting him for the first time becasue I just feel like I already know him! I forget that I have never actually met him before!!
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Oh you are getting me so excited now! It is still another month away yet!! lol!! It's not happening until the 20th October... so I have a month to sweat it out! It's just really strange meeting him for the first time becasue I just feel like I already know him! I forget that I have never actually met him before!! Ohh I'll be waiting with bated breath!! You should be excited! Even if it just about going to meet a good friend! Yep, I know what you mean! I'm sure you'll find it quite comfortable... especially since you know each other well!
Author gemmab2020 Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 well, fingers crossed anyway!! Thanks to all for your encouraging words! Has made me feel loads better about the situation. We both realise it is a bit of a strange situation that we are in but we have spoken about it quite a bit and I suppose the only thing now left to do is to meet. There has never been anything seedy, such as us having phone sex or sending each other rude pics or anything. It has all been purely clean and intellectual! (I can't even spell the word!!)... so hopefully he won't disappoint in person and we will still have the same amount of fun, if not more!! The least I can hope for is a new friend, but just knowing that there is that possibility that it may be something a little bit more. :love: :love:
PMsCity Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 My boyfriend and I met online and it was sucessful. It's not different then going to a club and meeting a guy there. I mean, at least ont he internet you can really get to know the person before all the physical stuff. I applaud it.
db75 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I've been thinking about giving online dating a try in the future when I'm ready. Can anyone recommend good sites? I was thinking about Yahoo Personals or Match.com
Quinch Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I've had nothing but bad experiences from online dating. You have to be very careful because there are a lot of nutters out there.
electric_sheep Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Some things: The internet is just another method of meeting people. No more, no less. An online relationship may or may not transfer well to the real world. You don't know till you try. The problems ensue when people have unreasonable expectations, are unflexible, or create too much pressure and anticipation. I wouldn't pay too much attention to all the naysayers ... most of their warnings apply equally well to any relationship, whether it started on the internet or not. People will lie, for example, in person as much as online. Besides, once you've met them in person, you will likely have some idea if they were misleading or not. The internet has become such an integral tool to modern life, it only stands to reason you find the same variety and cross-section of people online as offline. There are good ones out there and bad ones out there. I never understood why some people offhandly dismiss the idea of meeting someone online. I've heard people predict such relationships could never last. This is sort of like saying no relationship could ever last where the people met at a grocery store (It's pretty much logically equivalent). Yet, once you know someone, does it really matter whereyou met them ? Though online relationships can be fullfilling, I personally don't think one is any substitue for a real life relationship. Hence, the point of online dating (for me) is to date them in real life one day. Beware of lonely online people stringing you along forever. Lastly, my current girlfriend started out as a chat buddy, and we've been dating for about a year now.
Sand&Water Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I think I'm embarrassed to say to people I have met someone special, hypothetically speaking, online. Beware of lonely online people stringing you along forever. What are the signs? Sand&Water
electric_sheep Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I think I'm embarrassed to say to people I have met someone special, hypothetically speaking, online. What are the signs? Sand&Water Well, if they live nearby and are unwilling to meet in person after a few weeks (or even sooner), I'd be wary. My gf was nervous/scared about meeting in person, partly because our media is so sensational and effective at creating an atmosphere of fear (particularly with regard to the internet), so I indulged her for a while. Eventually I just told her there were girls I had met (online or otherwise) that were willing to go out with me, and though she had first bids I wasn't going to wait forever. If they don't live nearby that is a different story entirely. Then you have to ask yourself if you want to have a long-distance relationship too. I certainly wouldn't pin all my hopes and dreams on someone I'd never met in person though. I do believe good things can come from the internet, but one must remain sensible about things too.
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