I think my boyfriend wants to leave me

[Guest]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs. We had a wonderful weekend together and then on Monday night he went out n I was upset that he couldn't see me and sent one too many text messages. This seriously annoyed him, mad him angry and made him doubt our relationship. Unfortcantly i had a moment of madness and i know i shouldn't have sent them n the worse thing is that ive done this before. Ive spoken to my boyfriend since but it sounds like his very seriously thinking about breaking up with me.

 

Ive applogises a thousand times and told him ill do everything can to stop well basically being a pain. Im so scared ill lose him, i know his the love of my life and i know we could spend the rest of our lives together but right now i dont know what to do, i dont know whether i should contact him or wait for him to speak to me. I dont want to lose him but i just dont know what to do to make things better. I know i cant make him love me or make him stay with me but i dont want him to leave me...if anyone has any advice it would be really good right now

[CrushedOrgans]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs. We had a wonderful weekend together and then on Monday night he went out n I was upset that he couldn't see me and sent one too many text messages. This seriously annoyed him, mad him angry and made him doubt our relationship. Unfortcantly i had a moment of madness and i know i shouldn't have sent them n the worse thing is that ive done this before. Ive spoken to my boyfriend since but it sounds like his very seriously thinking about breaking up with me.

 

 

well yeah, no offense, but he should be annoyed; it was annoying behaviour on your part. you were with him all weekend, and on monday he wanted to do something else...so you put yourself between him and his good time so he would be reminded of what he was doing wrong and what he was leaving behind?

 

don't take this personally, because i would say this anyone, not just you, but i wouldn't have put up with this juvenile behaviour.

 

in high school, maybe, but high school is when it is supposed to be about the drama...in real life, in adult world, it is about a lot more than that.

 

my advise is to work on yourself and your trust- and self-control issues before you try to be in a relationship.

 

and i am not trying to be mean to you...bring to this your boyfriend, i bet he feels the same way.

[Walk]

I agree with crushed organs on this. You're going to need to show your bf that you understand why your behavior is not appropriate, and give solid solutions for things you are going to do to prevent this in the future.

 

So why do you feel you text messaged him so much while he was out?

 

How do you think he felt? Try to place yourself in his shoes. If you're finding this hard to do, then go out with your friends for the night and have your mom text message you as much as you text messaged your bf that night. Then study how it made you feel, and why you felt that way.

 

And what things can you do so that this won't happen again? ie: occupy yourself with activities. or go out with your own friends. work on building your self-esteem.

 

You're going to need solid ideas on how to prevent this in the future. I think you said you had done this before, so promising it won't happen again isn't really working. You're going to need to find a better solution if you're serious about stopping the behavior.

 

Things I do so I don't act on the needy, clingy impulses I sometimes have.. I call someone else first. Usually my parents, but that's because I'm low on friends. hahah Sometimes I'll ask a friend out during the same time my bf is going out with his friends. Worst feeling is sitting at home alone and getting caught in the mindset of the "What if?" game. So go out and laugh and talk with someone else.

 

Or I have hobbies I really enjoy, that I can't really do with my bf around... so when he takes off with friends, I do those.

 

Last suggestion, freedom doesnt' equate to him leaving you. Most times it draws two people closer to have some time apart. The next time he even suggest possibly going out with his friends, then be supportive of it. Be enthusastic (not fake enthusiasm or overboard though), tell him to have a great time, to have fun, and to call if he gets too drunk to drive. And believe in your heart that what you want is for him to be happy, and if this makes him happy, then you want that for him.

 

And if you're still having a hard time not text messaging him while he's out.. then get on LS and vent away. Express everything your feeling and get some support from the people on here.