brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Just wondering if anyone has used a USB SIM card reader with any success, since I've just ordered one. My WH and I are working through the aftermath of his EA, but he deleted all text messages to/from the OW. I know I'll be going crazy until I can see for myself what they were talking about! I'm really hoping I haven't wasted my money - please share any experiences with this.
RecoverMe Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Hi- I got one myself for the same reason, but ironically when it came in the mail I put it aside and now I can't find it, it's as if I'm not meant to find that stuff out! however, I intend to when I locate it so I'll let you know. I think you put the card in it, plug it into your pc, and "download". good luck. not all cell phones have sim cards anymore, expect Cingular.
FallenPetals Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 T-mobile uses sim cards. Sprint I think does not. Verizon does, and so do the others. I dunno about Cigular. It should work if it says it does. Just follow the directions. Goodluck.
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 If the message was deleted from the phone, that would insinuate to me that it was also deleted from the SIM card? Have you checked that's not the case?
Author brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 If the message was deleted from the phone, that would insinuate to me that it was also deleted from the SIM card? Have you checked that's not the case? I spoke with Cingular (our carrier) and they told me that all deleted messages and phone call lists are stored on the SIM card unless they are specifically deleted from it. The readers are marketed for people who "inadvertantly delete important contacts or SMS messages" so I'm assuming and hoping that they will still be there. I saw a screen shot of the information I'm supposed to get, and it looks like it's going to show me who the texts were to/from as well as what they said. I'll be sure to update once it gets here and I try it out. If this works, it will be the best ten bucks I've ever spent!
littlekitty Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I spoke with Cingular (our carrier) and they told me that all deleted messages and phone call lists are stored on the SIM card unless they are specifically deleted from it. The readers are marketed for people who "inadvertantly delete important contacts or SMS messages" so I'm assuming and hoping that they will still be there. I saw a screen shot of the information I'm supposed to get, and it looks like it's going to show me who the texts were to/from as well as what they said. I'll be sure to update once it gets here and I try it out. If this works, it will be the best ten bucks I've ever spent! Very interesting! I wonder if that's the case on all phones/sims?!
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I think that if you are buying a sim reader to snoop on your SO's phone then you have more problems to worry about then whether or not it will work. The trust is already gone and you should either be trying to fix the marriage or get out.
Author brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 I think that if you are buying a sim reader to snoop on your SO's phone then you have more problems to worry about then whether or not it will work. The trust is already gone and you should either be trying to fix the marriage or get out. Well, thank you for the most "duh" inspiring post I've ever seen. We are 5 weeks from D-Day and I am still in the process of information gathering. I know that the EA is no longer going on, but I need to know details of what happened to enable me to heal. My FWH has told me what the text messages said, so now I want to verify. If they are what he says they are, I recover a small bit of trust that enables us to work toward recovery. There wouldn't be very many posts in the Infidelity section if no one followed up on things, went through phone bills, checked emails, etc. It's all part of it.
2sunny Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Well, thank you for the most "duh" inspiring post I've ever seen. We are 5 weeks from D-Day and I am still in the process of information gathering. I know that the EA is no longer going on, but I need to know details of what happened to enable me to heal. My FWH has told me what the text messages said, so now I want to verify. If they are what he says they are, I recover a small bit of trust that enables us to work toward recovery. There wouldn't be very many posts in the Infidelity section if no one followed up on things, went through phone bills, checked emails, etc. It's all part of it. Excuse me - but - most of us folks that know and love AC and his great advice don't direct a response of DUH!!!!!!! He's been here a long while, why don't you appreciate a good thing when he's trying to be helpful?
Author brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Excuse me - but - most of us folks that know and love AC and his great advice don't direct a response of DUH!!!!!!! He's been here a long while, why don't you appreciate a good thing when he's trying to be helpful? I don't know how helpful it is to be told what I "should" be doing. I did not ask someone to come along and judge my actions; I joined this community because it seemed like a supportive place. I would think that most BS here would understand why I need to see what was deleted from his cell phone, and that's why I started the thread. I don't need anyone to tell me that I need to work on my marriage when I'm TRYING to do just that! I understand that, as a newbie, I should have respect for long-time members and their opinions, but not when they post in a condescending way. My self-esteem is low enough right now without comments designed to make me feel worse.
calalily Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I know that in court cases you can get a transcript of the messages both to and from, and in the event that the reader doesn't work, you could always enquire into that.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 It's all part of it. Says who ? In order to move on you do not need to know all the details. In fact you might find out info that you might not want to know and make things worse. the fact that it happened is really all you need to know Would it not be easier to get to MC instead of trying to nail the coffin shut ?
Author brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Says who ? In order to move on you do not need to know all the details. In fact you might find out info that you might not want to know and make things worse. the fact that it happened is really all you need to know Would it not be easier to get to MC instead of trying to nail the coffin shut ? I'm sorry - I didn't realize that you live inside my brain and can magically know what I need and don't need. I also find it interesting that you recommend MC, since you're so in tune with my situation and should know that we're already going. I don't know why you've chosen my thread to hijack, but I hope your attitude is not representative of all established members here. Thank you for your opinion, but that's not what I asked for. If I ever find myself in need of your guidance, I will PM you so you can degrade me further.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Sorry.. I didn't mean to upset you... I'll stop posting on your thread...
2sunny Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I'm sorry - I didn't realize that you live inside my brain and can magically know what I need and don't need. I also find it interesting that you recommend MC, since you're so in tune with my situation and should know that we're already going. I don't know why you've chosen my thread to hijack, but I hope your attitude is not representative of all established members here. Thank you for your opinion, but that's not what I asked for. If I ever find myself in need of your guidance, I will PM you so you can degrade me further. YOU have no PM privileges - my dear - that is an EARNED perk.. Anyway, seeing that you are purposely trying to degrade AC (when he is a guy who is more than beneficial for all of us who have been here for a bit of time) - why would you seek advice when you are wanting to beat the advice down? He is a VERY smart man, with great advice to offer, if one is listening...
Owl Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Well, I've been here at least as long as AC has, and I've got to agree with the poster here. AC...trust me, there are steps that a BS (betrayed spouse) HAS to take to recover from an affair. Learning the 'extent' of the betrayal before they can decide what they want to do. They need to know that in order to truly understand what it is that they're trying to forgive. I've been there. Not an attack here, but I want to get an understanding of where you're coming from...have you been through anything like this friend? If so, what was your experience in recovering?
Author brainless twit Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 AC...trust me, there are steps that a BS (betrayed spouse) HAS to take to recover from an affair. Learning the 'extent' of the betrayal before they can decide what they want to do. They need to know that in order to truly understand what it is that they're trying to forgive. Thanks so much. I was really starting to feel the way my H has made me feel - like I'm irrational and bring things on myself. I appreciate you articulating what I wanted to say. For some people, it may be easier to move on quickly and ignore the details. In my situation, I have only just found out about this, and I only know the things I know because I found them out on my own. My H is not being completely honest with me; I do believe that he is upholding NC but I still don't know exactly what happened during the EA. How can I work through this when I don't know if this went on for weeks or months? If I'm not sure whether they only talked at work and on the phone, or if they were texting each other to meet up somewhere? To me, it makes a HUGE difference. I wish I trusted my H enough to believe what he says, but as most BS are aware, there is zero trust after this kind of betrayal. More information gives me a better understanding of what we're recovering from, and I need that before I can try to move on. Had I known I was going to be smacked down by other posters, I never would have started this thread. I'm just looking desperately for answers and I hoped I would find them here. I apologize to anyone who is offended by what I have to say.
Owl Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Here's the rest of the kicker, BT. In order for your husband to rebuild trust with you, he has to demonstrate trustworthy behavior to you over a period of time. You didn't just give him your housekeys the very first moment you met him did you? Hand him your checkbook and tell him to go shopping? Nope...that happened later...after he'd built that trust up with you over time. By showing you he was trustworthy. Now he's damaged/destroyed that trust. He's got to start over. But given the KIND of betrayal and how it happened, you're going to have to see how he's behaving NOW to see that he's being trustworthy. That means checking up on him. That means giving him the chance to choose between the right and wrong things, and SEEING that he chose the right thing. Not setting it up so he can only fail...not trapping him. But by telling him that this is his chance...and SEEING WHAT HE DOES. Which means you need to know HOW he committed the affair in the first place. What did he do, how did he do it, when? And he needs to make the effort to reassure you. You really should seek a good marriage counselor to help you through this...one who understands infidelity. But for now...snoop. Let your H know the truth...you DON'T trust him, and it's up to him to EARN that trust back. As far as knowing WHAT the messages said, there is one thing to remember. Many people who get down into the 'nitty-gritty detail' of what happened struggle hard with forgetting it. You might be better off working through this in counseling than in getting it straight off his SIM card. Seriously...something to give real thought to. Seeing what was said is going to hurt you right back to d-day all over again. Know that now. See if you can find a less painful way to get to where you want to go.
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