PoshPrincess Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Today I feel horrible, I was better yesterday but after drinking a little I called him from a friend's phone and played our song.I could hear his voice on the other side of the phone saying helo,hello than his wife got the phone too I played the song a little more and hang up.Isn't it patetic? I just want him to remember that he told me he would love me forever,he was the one who picked the song.I drove around his neiborhood too not close to the house though.Today I feel like going to his house and cursing him out and than making passionate love in front of his W. Am I going crazy or what?I miss him so much I wonder if he misses me too...I guess I will feel better later,I am going to work today,yesterday I was off, maybe working will distract me.good luck to all of you... Jeez, you really sound like you're suffering SIL. Drinking doesn't help though (don't worry I am the same!) as you lose all inhibitions and anything that would normally seem like a bad idea doesn't seem so bad after all. That sounds like just the sort of thing I would do though thankfully don't have MMs home phone number. I have rung his mobile a few times and hung up but he must know it's me which makes me feel pretty pathetic. I've texted my MM with song lyrics before, yep, all the words that he once told me were meant for me! I gave in this morning and spoke to him. We chatted for most of my journey to work and it made me SO happy speaking to him but he said things that have given me false hope again. Still think we're going to be together but don't, all at the same time!!!!!
Author pricillia Posted September 22, 2006 Author Posted September 22, 2006 I went out with him the other night... We were talking and he was saying that he does not want me to leave him and he does not want to loose me. He kept on saying that he does not want me to be with some one else, and my reply was "you mean someone that is not married" he got so upset and started to cry, it took me a little while to get him to stop crying. It is so wierd guys I feel like I have to handle him with kid gloves. He asked me what I want from him... My reply um... is this a trick question? I wanted to say, I want to be with you, you jerk... but... I did not know how to reply. He went on to say that he is not a cheater... (just listened) He was so upset he said that he loves me and that he is in love with me and he asked me why I think he tells me that, and went on to say... He asked me if I thought if he said it just for fun, and do I think this whole thing is a joke. I still did not know what to say. other that I am in love with him as well. I would like to be with him in a respectable way, (please don't quote this line) So confused about this whole thing, he calls me 3 to 4 times a day, I think it is to just keep things under control. For instance, He called me the other day while I was at work and when I answered the phone he heard me laugh. He asked me who put a smile on your face and when I told him it was a customer who said something funny he said, "Tell him to stay away from my girl" What do you all think. I am sure that I am leaving things out, too long to get into, and this is my side of things and there are two sides to everything.
BenThereDunThat Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 I think your instincts are right on. And I think that you know it, too. Just like I know it when mine does the same thing to me. You're smart enough, independent enough that if some other guy did that to you, you'd be like, EWW, get a life buddy! But when MM does it, it's weird, it's so wonderful to feel him being possessive, even though, intellectually, you know what an A** he is being! It's funny how you say he tells you he doesn't want to "lose" you. Mine used to do that too!!! On the one hand, it made me feel so good. On the other hand, my brain (the part that I locked up in the basement) would be like, "lose me??" WTF!!! Who does this a**hole think he is???? You never HAD me, you jerk!!! He had such a knack for talking as if we were in an actual relationship, to the point where I'd just shake my head and be like, wait a minute, you are MARRIED - we are not in a RELATIONSHIP, so quit acting like we are!!
BenThereDunThat Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 And ANOTHER thing...one of the things he used to say that always puzzled me. "What are you planning to do with me?" I'd be like, huh? Thinking, what do you mean? Do you know what it even took to get me to this point? My god! Like I can think beyond this point! He proceeded to say "well, this friend of mine, a younger girl, told me about a guy she met and said well, I know there's no future, I'm sure we won't be together more than 3 or 4 months, but I'll just ride it out until whenever." And he'd be all aghast....how can you do that? How can you be with someone and KNOW that there's no future??? Ummm....Seriously. What the HELL was that all about? I'd really like to hear from the men on this one.
Author pricillia Posted September 24, 2006 Author Posted September 24, 2006 Thanks BTDT, I just read your reply now, some of the details and the feelings that I have and they way you think about your situation is right on the way I feel about things. I am trying to think about this whole situation in a rational way, as how can it grow and evolve into something good. As I said we work in the same building, yesterday I did not work and he did. I know that he thought that I was working but I did not tell him either way. He called me wondering where I was and told me that he missed me not being there, Well that was sweet. However. He called me again and I said that I had to go, he took it personally and said FINE YOU HAVE TO GO, and he hung up on me. I waited a little while and he called him back(why I don't know) I told him that the reason I had to go had nothing to do with him, And don't hang up on me again. This man is stressed! He is unhappy and anything seems to get him going. I am starting to realize that it is all about him though in a sense, I am not calling him today and I am not answering when he calls. I need some time to think about this whole thing
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