Values Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 If I am say, in the grocery store or in an office building where I see an attractive girl who I would like to talk to and possible go out with and she at least "sees" me will she react if interested? Reason I ask is, being a guy, if I see an attractive female on any day of the week I will notice her and check her out. I may even make easy glancing eye contact to see if she looks back. Women of the forum if you see a good looking guy do you remain in your stoic, uninterested look or do you try and look half-way interested in talking? I'm trying to avoid looking like a complete dumbass if I crash and burn just walking right up to you. It's not so much a confidence issue (I can find that when necessary) its an issue of is she even the slightest bit interested from the sight of me alone? Second part of this question is that there was recently this girl who was a hostess at a nearby restaurant that I frequent. She was hotter than a $2 pistol and finer than a ladybug's eyelash. The first night I was in there and saw her working she kept looking over her shoulder at me, never smiling but never looking disgusted either, just kind of solemn looking. Anyway I had to stop eating there because she would stay in my head for too long afterwards. Basically women, do you give us signs? Or do you ever see a guy, not give him a sign and wish you had? Might you be just as nervous as me, but trying to look and act uninterested?
Flicker Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Well, the short answer is that no two women are the same so there is no "standard" response. However, if a women notices you looking at her and smiles, that is generally a good sign. If you notice a women repeatedly looking at you this could also be a good sign. She may be sizing you up - on the other hand, in the case of the hostess, she may just be checking on your table to see if it's about to free up anytime soon. There are not really any sure bets. The best advice I could give you would be that if you are interested and she's not showing any signs of obvious repulsion, go up to her and introduce yourself. Start a casual conversation. Throw in a compliment. See how it goes from there. If she isn't interested, she'll soon let you know. And what do you have to lose, really? By the law of averages, the more times you try, the more you'll be successful. Good luck
Sand&Water Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Values, As a woman, I'm strangely scared to make eye contact with a man. I fear that if I make eye contact, he will take a part of me and run away with it. If he makes eye contact, I fear if I respond, I'll be breaking his romantic relationship. Most of the time, I keep to myself. She acts uninterested, because she is interested. Women do that, at times. Anyway I had to stop eating there because she would stay in my head for too long afterwards. No. Don't stop eating there. Go back. Sand&Water
Author Values Posted September 18, 2006 Author Posted September 18, 2006 Does it make any difference that I'm about 6'4" and if I'm working out at all my chest and arms get pretty large. I'm proportioned, but some people say I look imposing and can make them nervous. I don't feel comfortable walking up to some girl because I feel like she might turn around look up at me and be scared. I can't help my height (which is not that tall is it?) and people who get to know me know that I'm not a threatening person. I didn't have much luck with girls in high school and had some luck in college. My ex thought I was sexy and she was incredibly hot. I overheard some girls talking one day, saying I looked mean, like I always have this scowling/mad look on my face, which I know is unintentional. That doesn't help. I would say I have had a lack of spontaneous interest from women in the past, but most of the ones who were interested have been really attractive. Maybe it's an attitude thing, but how much can a girl tell about you in the grocery store?
Author Values Posted September 18, 2006 Author Posted September 18, 2006 Values, As a woman, I'm strangely scared to make eye contact with a man. I fear that if I make eye contact, he will take a part of me and run away with it. If he makes eye contact, I fear if I respond, I'll be breaking his romantic relationship. Most of the time, I keep to myself. She acts uninterested, because she is interested. Women do that, at times. No. Don't stop eating there. Go back. Sand&Water Thanks for the dining advice, but the first part confused me even further.
lovestruck234 Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 I am the type that generally keeps to myself, and generally doesn't look "interested" (whatever that is)... By that, I mean....for example. I was on the train this morning on the way to work and as I was getting up the HOTTEST guy looked up from reading a book and just glared at me. I walked past him and he was looking me up and down about 5 or 6 times....I looked back at him, but you see, I'm not the type you will see winking at a hottie or flashing a flirtatious smile or anything....I think I kinda look at them like they are a complete stranger....if that's normal...?? I walked down the train steps and I looked back vaguely and he was bending over his seat to check me out even more.... This type of behaviour I laugh off most of the time. (Most likely becasue I have a bf!) but if a guy has enough confidence to come talk to me, I will have no hesitations talking back to them....I don't flirt, I don't ask for numbers, I simply chat politely back to them.... My point here....I let them do the chasing.....
Rooster_DAR Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 What if he is butt ugly and weighs about 400lbs?
lovestruck234 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 What if he is butt ugly and weighs about 400lbs? So what if he is? If he is kind enough to approach me and talk to me, I'm not going to disreagrd that based on his looks. That's just shallow. Like I said, I don't tend to flirt with guys who approach me, but I'm not that big of a b*tch to tell them to get going. I'm a girl, I like to talk!! Lol
TheSilentType Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 So what if he is? If he is kind enough to approach me and talk to me, I'm not going to disreagrd that based on his looks. That's just shallow. Like I said, I don't tend to flirt with guys who approach me, but I'm not that big of a b*tch to tell them to get going. I'm a girl, I like to talk!! Lol You're like me....sans the talking part. If someone...whoever it is...talks to me politely and I have the time to talk or am not stressed out about something at the moment, then I'll respond back. Doesn't matter if they look like Heidi Klum or Quasimoto, if they've got something interesting to say...I'll listen. Heck, I was on a train once and this old lady was sitting in the seat next to me. She taps me on the shoulder, and then proceeds to talk to me for the next few hours. She must have really taken a liking to me because when we arrived at our destination she gave me her name and number (why can't younger girls do that...lol), and told me to call if I ever needed some assistance. You never know who you'll meet...and sometimes you may run into someone who can help you if you need. So I don't mind talking to anybody...though I do more listening than actually talking.
lovestruck234 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Heck, I was on a train once and this old lady was sitting in the seat next to me. She taps me on the shoulder, and then proceeds to talk to me for the next few hours. She must have really taken a liking to me because when we arrived at our destination she gave me her name and number (why can't younger girls do that...lol), and told me to call if I ever needed some assistance. You never know who you'll meet...and sometimes you may run into someone who can help you if you need. So I don't mind talking to anybody...though I do more listening than actually talking. A little bit of kindness goes a long way into brightening up someone's day. Even when I am in a pretty sucky mood, I still sit and listen to someone approach me while I'm having lunch and listen to their jabber... It's good to listen to a little gossip, even if it has nothing to do with you and you have no idea what they're on about!
Author Values Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 lovestruck234, I think it's great that you have a bf that you seem to be faithful to. Keep it that way. Let's say you didn't have a bf. I see you on the train and look you up and down. Then I start talking to you after my eyes have done their work. This means I like you and would like to get to know you. Ultimately, (let's face facts here) I would like to get into a physical funfest with you at some point. Maybe after a month of dating or maybe as soon as we get off the train. I had a question to ask about when do you decide to give me your number or not, but I guess if I've just had a good conversation with a hot girl that would be satisfying enough. Although more would be better!
BlueEyedGirl Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 If a hot guy or a guy I find attractive is looking at me, I defenetly show signs of interest. I glance back at him few times and if I catch his eye I give him a smile. On the other hand if a guy I find creepy is checking me out, I would just go on with my business as if he is not there.
Yamaha Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Some women will check you out, while with others, you won't even know if they are interested. It is just the way things are with the opposite sex. They are a hodgepodge of contradictions. The best way is to smile and say hello and see how she reacts. If she seems excited you are noticing her then she probably is interested. If she gives you a cool hello and acts like she has other things to do then go on about your business.
Pink Amulet Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 This has been touched on in another thread.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t99189/ It pisses me off to be honest. But in a few months, when I get desperate I may just take the next "man on the street" home with me
lovestruck234 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 lovestruck234, I think it's great that you have a bf that you seem to be faithful to. Keep it that way. Let's say you didn't have a bf. I see you on the train and look you up and down. Then I start talking to you after my eyes have done their work. This means I like you and would like to get to know you. Ultimately, (let's face facts here) I would like to get into a physical funfest with you at some point. Maybe after a month of dating or maybe as soon as we get off the train. I had a question to ask about when do you decide to give me your number or not, but I guess if I've just had a good conversation with a hot girl that would be satisfying enough. Although more would be better! well now you've put things into a totally different perspective... I guess it would be different if I didn't have a bf....*trying to think back to when single*... Yeah, I probably would like to get to know you a little better if the feelings were there. Not saying that I would go on a date with you, but I would like to get to know you, for sure. I'm not into the whole casually, coincidently meeting somewhere and then jumping into the sack. I have the whole theory of getting along better if were mates for a while beofre anything serious happens. Let's just say I have A LOT of mates...(who some have said they are waiting fo the day I become single again)..... Lol...don't think it's gunna hapen for a LOOOOONG time...
Author Values Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Pink Amulet, after I read some of your responses to another thread last week and the one above, I would appreciate it if you would just lie and say you have a bf. I really don't like lying, but in this case it would help me lose the desire to buy a ticket to Australia.
IWalkAlone Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 NO! No lying! My expereinces with women who lie about having a boyfriend, lie about being too busy to go out on a date, and lie by giving me fake phone numbers only makes me feel that most women lying b!tches. Women shouldn't treat guys like crap and then complain than men have issues about that.
Lisa32 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I can only answer for myself, but if a guy is really hot and is looking at me...I look away and act uninterested. Why? Because, first of all, I get a little nervous around a hot guy...what straight woman wouldn't...and second, I want to stick out from the rest of the girls. I know that most hot guys can get any girl they want. I don't want to be just any girl. Most girls would stare wink, act shy or try to get the guys attention...but if you act uninterested, the guy will accidentallly bump into you on purpose and try to get your attention. He'll do all the work and think it's his idea. If the guy doesn't make the move on me, then I know it's not meant to be, or he wasn't man enough to pursue me. Women like to be chased...and men like to chase. It's just how it is. You can disagree all you want...but it's the man's job to chase. Women love when a man makes her feel special. We like to see the extent you'll go to, to win our hearts. That's why most women are able to grow to love a guy. Guys usually know right away...women grow to love. You are the hunter...we are the hunted.
Author Values Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Lisa32, WHAT!? If you act uninterested when an attractive guy notices you that is so senseless in my opinion. If I notice you, give you a look for 2 seconds and maybe look at you again a minute later and all you ever do is look uninterested or turn away then I'm going to quit looking. I don't approach women who seem uninterested, that would be kind of creepy don't you think? I'm only after ones that I think may be receptive to being approached. I have read one or two other responses like yours and it's the dumbest thing I ever thought I'd read. When you are interested you act uninterested, I mean c'mon no guy is going to go after you given that. JEEZ! I guess if most women are like this then I must be one super hot guy, cause I sure have gotten a lot of uninterested looks in my time. I'm tall and slender but not skinny, I've been called hot, but only after someone knows me, rarely if ever on the street. Personally, I figured I was just ignorable and nothing special. I guess now I know I've passed up countless women in my day, since they have all been secretly into me but have all been acting uninterested. Seriously, I have never really gone after ANY girl except for when I KNOW there is a connection. Maybe it's my problem, but for some reason I am afraid - yes afraid - that they will find my efforts creepy and I'll be labeled some sort of wierdo for pursuing them. I'll have to find some decent photos of me and post them for evaluation. All my good old photos were taken by my lying, cheating, evil ex and I got rid of everything that had to do with her.
Author Values Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Just to further clarify on my last post. Let's say I'm in a store or restaurant, whatever, and I'm being waited on or helped by an attractive female. I may start thinking how I would like to get her number, go out with her, make her laugh, make her moan, etc. If she doesn't make eye contact with me and acts like she would rather be reading her magazine instead of talking to me, then I am going to forget about all those attraction thoughts that I was having. When a girl makes no extra effort to say or do anything beyond the norm I will reciprocate her actions even if originally I had turned up the charm a little. You get what you give.
Lisa32 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Tell that to my last boyfriend. I met him in a card store. We were together He's a hottie and was looking at me. I acted like I didn't even notice him. He followed me around the store. I continued to not notice him (or so he thought). He took a card from right in front of me and said "Excuse me". I started laughing, because i saw his effort. We ended up talking and dating for 1-1/2 years. Not very creepy to me or him. Take my advice or leave it. You asked for opinions, and I gave you mine from my experience. It works for me...and obviously for my ex...who's still a very good friend of mine.
superconductor Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 But in a few months, when I get desperate I may just take the next "man on the street" home with me Which street? *makes call to airline*
IWalkAlone Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Tell that to my last boyfriend. I met him in a card store. We were together He's a hottie and was looking at me. I acted like I didn't even notice him. He followed me around the store. I continued to not notice him (or so he thought). He took a card from right in front of me and said "Excuse me". I started laughing, because i saw his effort. We ended up talking and dating for 1-1/2 years. Not very creepy to me or him. Take my advice or leave it. You asked for opinions, and I gave you mine from my experience. It works for me...and obviously for my ex...who's still a very good friend of mine. Question: How can a guy tell the difference between a women who is signaling her interest by acting not interested, and a woman who is simply not interested? There was a Saturday Night Live scetch about a sexual harassment training film where the advice to avoid a sexual harassment suit was to "be attractive." I think your "hottie" boyfriend was just used to getting almost any woman he wants. Guys who are not "hot" who chase women who don't act interested face a lot of frustration.
Author Values Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Question: How can a guy tell the difference between a women who is signaling her interest by acting not interested, and a woman who is simply not interested? There was a Saturday Night Live scetch about a sexual harassment training film where the advice to avoid a sexual harassment suit was to "be attractive." I think your "hottie" boyfriend was just used to getting almost any woman he wants. Guys who are not "hot" who chase women who don't act interested face a lot of frustration. Exactly. That sketch was perfect. I think I'm better looking than Fred Armesan sp.?, but that is so true. I would never follow a girl around a card store without expecting security to get called. Truth is I don't know how good looking I am. I've never once been told I'm unattractive, not once that I can remember and I have been told how cute and hot I am but I was involved with the girls who said that. Maybe I just lack everyday confidence in my looks and charm. I can gather the sometimes necessary confidence where you go after the amazing girl that you have a crush on, but I guess I lack that spontaneous grocery store chat confidence. Here's a question for you ladies. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am absolutely confident I am a 6.5 or better and probably at least a 7 when you factor in height and body type. If I am confident with being at least a 7, and I know my funny/intelligence level is probably in the 9's should I be approaching girls I don't know in public places.
Lisa32 Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I don't know what to tell you IWalkAlone. I guess it's different for everyone. Maybe you're the type of guy who that approach doesn't work for. Maybe you need that 80 - 100% certainty before you take a chance on a girl. That's up to you. My way sure worked for my ex and me. I loved the way he kept trying to get my attention. It was really cute...and not psycho whatsoever. He started making me laugh. Another girl may jump on and say she gives a little wink back to show that she's interested. Personally, I don't do that...but that's just me. I feel if a man is interested enough, he's going to take a chance and be ballsy. That's the type of man I'm attracted to. Someone that sees me...knows he wants to get to know me...and goes for it. Really, what it all comes down to is, if you like someone, take a chance and try to talk to them. If you aren't confident enough, it's going to be harder. Looks have nothing to do with it, if you're smooth enough, and if the girl is meant for you. Don't sit by and wait for signs, because the person you like might be shy or extremely attracted to you...and you may miss your chance. I've been so attracted to a guy before, that I have a hard time making eye contact. Anyway, good luck and I hope you guys meet a great girl. Value: Bars, card stores, supermarkets...all great public places for meeting people. You should give it a try. You really should be more confident. You're probably a good looking guy with a great personality.
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