Lammetje Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Hi! My partner and I have been in a LDR for almost 2 weeks and it's just 10 times tougher than I thought it would be. That's why I'm here. To learn from others and to ventilate my thoughts and emotions. We are engaged and have been together for 2 months. That's right, two months. We've known each other on a highly personal level for 8 months now and are both sure that we're the one for each other. I am finishing my last year in university and so is she. Eventually we both want to live in Australia, her country of residence. I am Dutch and am currently residing in The Netherlands. However, the feeling of missing her. Of wanting to be with her. Her touch. Doing the things we do together, like going for long walks and off to the beach, going to concerts and sleeping together. I WANT THAT BACK SO BAD that I'm becoming very depressed by it. Looking at her picture makes me feel like crying, hearing her voice on skype shuts me down, fantasizing about us having sex makes me feel sad. I'm trying to say that instead of feeling joy for our relationship, the fact that we're getting married next year, I feel sadness and loss. Not at all what I want to feel! We've been telling ourselves not to get depressed, to enjoy life while we're away from each other and we've done a lot of mental preparation for what's to come: 5 months apart. Not that long when you think of it, and at least we know when we see each other again. But what I'm experiencing here is something I could never have thought of. I feel like I'm torn apart. Like I'm missing half of my body, leaving me paralyzed. I can't focus on my work, can't think of anything but her and us together. I feel sick in my stomach. And I can't seem to control it. It's consuming. And then there's the major insecurity issue rising up from that. I didn't think I would get that because our relationship is very open and we communicate very well on a very deep level, there's mutual respect and we give each other a lot of love on a daily basis through MSN and Skype. Yet I can feel it grow inside of me. Insecurity. I've been in a long term relationship before and I know it's not good. Insecurity can be a monster that continues to grow and eventually takes over most of your rational mind. I've been there before and do not, under any circumstances, want to be there again. She's is the one for me. She is being so supportive, she's amazing. I do not want to give up and I know she won't. She's the most beautiful person ever and I'll do anything to make this relationship last. And therefore I need to control my feelings, otherwise I'm gonna be destructive. No way I will allow that to happen again. Not a very happy introduction, but that's my state of mind at the present. That's why I looked for this place on the net today. Have a great night/day dreaming of your loved ones. Hooroo!
NallePuh Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Hey! I realise that it's been a month since this was first posted but I can not help but to comment. Most of the text you've written could be written by me. The beauty of it is that I have not been able to put into words my feelings but you did it and can't help but to thank you I'm a Finnish girl and my boyfriend is Spanish. We've started as a LDR after I was in Spain as an exchange student. We knew each other for two months and a week before I left we started dating. Eek! This being away from each other is slowly killing me, I'm getting more depressed by the day. What's even more horrible is that he's coming here within two weeks and I'm so depressed that I can hardly draw hope from that. I'm so scared that I won't make it until May (which is when I'm going to move to Spain for the summer). So I guess, that's all for now. Thank you and the best of luck to you as well, should you come back here to read this
Recommended Posts