electric_sheep Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for my girlfriend to stir my libido. I find myself simply wanting to masturbate because it is easier and less trouble. It's not that my sex drive in general has diminished, it's just increasingly not directed towards my girlfriend. I see hot young girls at the cafe, the grocery store, or simply walking down the street, and I find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to have sex with them. Just the other day I was having coffee with my girlfriend when a really hot girl in a mini-skirt sat right across from me. Her lovely tanned legs were just so alluring to me, I couldn't help but think what sex with her would be like. I realize this post is not going to go over very well, but at least give me credit for sharing my thoughts and my feelings honestly. I know the typical advice in a situation like this is to "spice" things up, but unfortunately (or fortunately) my girlfriend and I were/are sexually adventurous and we have already exhausted so many possibilities in the kink realm. The areas we have not explored are probably dangerous emotionally and I'm not certain she would go there. Also somewhat disturbing is an emotional/philosophical shift seems to have accompanied this lessening of my sex drive. My girlfriend initially was very pragmatic about sex, and I was more traditionally romantic. Our attitudes seem to have reversed. Perhaps I'm guilty of changing my attitude to excuse my current feelings. Perhaps her attitude just eventually wore off on me. Whatever. Sex just seems to have lost some of it's spark for me. I believe that spark would come if I had sex with someone else. I'm not even really sure what my question is here. I definitely still love her, though it seems somehow different. Less intense, that is for sure. I have this feeling that this "wandering eye" I seem to have developed would occur no matter who I was dating or how much I loved them. I know for a fact I am not nearly as sexually attracted to her as I was at first. Are my feelings just the inevitable result of hitting the 1 year mark ? When I think about all this it makes me sad.
norajane Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Also somewhat disturbing is an emotional/philosophical shift seems to have accompanied this lessening of my sex drive. My girlfriend initially was very pragmatic about sex, and I was more traditionally romantic. Our attitudes seem to have reversed. Perhaps I'm guilty of changing my attitude to excuse my current feelings. Perhaps her attitude just eventually wore off on me. Whatever. Sex just seems to have lost some of it's spark for me. I think this is the crux of your problem. You've allowed the pragmatic and kinky to replace the emotional connection you felt with her at the start of your relationship. Sex issues are often a result of problems outside the bedroom. You and your gf have lost touch with what brought you together. You can bring it back by putting more effort into the emotional side of your relationship and bringing the romance back.
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