Guest Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 I will try to make this long story short... Left husband, same night went out with friend and her husband - Had WAY too much to drink - Spent the night at their house - Had sex with friends husband - Next day spent the day and night with him, (she was out of town) had more sex- Over the course of a 1 1/2 months we have had sex 8 times and made out lot's of other times. I know, how stupid of me, what a whore, but hey I am emotinally attached to him and was before we ever got together. We feel way to guilty and have called it off, well we did call it off and the next day we had sex, just one last time is what we said!!! My question is have any of you been invloved with a friends husband been able to call it off and remain friends? I was really good friends with him before all of this happened, probably better friends with him than her. He seems to think we can keep the friendship, I want to keep the friendship and end the relationship. Problem is I'm not sure if I am sincere in saying that. So confused!!! No haters please, I know it's wrong just need advice from a been there done that person
littlesoul Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 sorry not sure, never been involved in anything like that, i imagine it would be hard being friends if there are still feelings involved. might need to take a break from each other for a while until all the heat has cooled. Goodluck
PoshPrincess Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Not quite been in your position but when I was with my partner of 8 years I had an affair with his best friend. We had been friends for as long as I'd known my partner and I'd had a bit of a crush on him for quite a while. After 7 years my partner and I were having problems and I turned to the friend for comfort, if you know what I mean. He had just started a new but very destructive relationship. We slept together four or five times over the space of 7 months but when I finally had the courage to leave my partner (not for him!) it finished. My choice, not his, as I realised it only happened because of my unhappiness with my partner and not because I had any real feelings for him (although at the time I thought I did). We tried being friends initially but then after having a drink one night (and him one minute telling me he was in love with me, the next saying I was a b**ch for leaving his best friend) he texted saying that he didn't want to see or hear from me ever again. After about 3 or 4 months we became friends again and are now as close as we ever were. Of course, it's slightly different in that I am no longer with his best friend. That could've been a lot more complicated. From my experience it would be best to end things now. Do you really want to risk your friendship with his wife? I am very lucky that my A didn't come out. My partner would've been hurt beyond belief and as they have so many friends in common, his best friend would've lost everything. He actually had more to lose than I did in a weird way. I may no longer be with my ex but I still don't want him to know, not for my sake but for his and the best friend's. Best of luck!
Guest Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 This is really hard. I was married for 14 years and now this... Anyways I plan to try to just be friends again, I hope it works. I will keep everyone informed because I know that this is bound to happen to someone else who needs advice and it's not like you can tell your friends about an affair with a married man... I NEVER thought I would be with a married man, I mean NEVER. Life and it's twist and turns is crazy!
Guest Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 that he is/was "comfort" for me after leaving my marriage. His touch, the way he looks at me, his voice it was all "comfort" and it helped me deal with my situation. I hope I can keep this attitude and remain friends, only time will tell.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 Hi Guest! Thank you for the update! I'm not exactly in your situation, but I can relate. I am married 10 years and I have always had a crush on my H's best friend. Last year, I made a move on the best friend - and to my surprise, he revealed that he's always had a crush on ME! Well, that's how our affair started. (But we've not had sex, just heavy petting and kissing.) We've also decided to remain friends - and never to touch each other again. It's hard, but we were friends before this mess started. And simliar to your story, I had an affair with this man because I was extremely unhappy in my marriage.
umbo Posted September 21, 2006 Posted September 21, 2006 YOu did have sex it is called outercourse sex. Please look it up with wikipediaIinternet dictionary) or any dictionary. You may want to pass along your new knowledge to your friends and family and confess and apologize to your spouse. Wait before throw the computer at me just look up the term outercourse sex. Now breathe. thanks
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